This story is not so much fanfiction as self-reflection. It was created at the time when I felt an urgent need (and opportunity) to stop and look at myself, try to find my essence and driving forces in order to figure out what to do next. Have I been successful in this?... This is the second attempt to publish my 'artistic version of psychoanalysis' of myself (it was curiously enough to find the characters from the dream of Jung's friend, a theology student; post factum, but working properly). This time I tried to make it more independent by correlating the main action of the story (the narrative of the second part) directly with my present; so the first part is essentially a long introduction. The world in which the heroine is placed and the characters she contacts are based on a well-known series of novels. The reason for this was that this story (films, to be honest) always caused me - unexpectedly - bouts of depression, and of course, the amazing world and the huge number of questions raised by the author. I deeply respect the author's opinion and in no way try to criticise her, nor do I consider my point of view to be the only true one, or that such a thing exists at all. Although there is not a single name in my story except for the main character, because I did not have the courage to address them by name, crossed out, the issue isn't them, per se, and nevertheless, all recognisable characters and the world in which the action takes place belong to J.K. Rowling. I was just interested in using the possibilities of this world, as well as the personalities of some of the characters (as I understood them, but I think that it was not without the influence of Eliezer Yudkowsky), seeing in them the necessary elements of the personalities of people close to me, to try myself as a writer and create a psychological self-portrait, truthful, but still of the best version of myself. As a non-native speaker and a person who has little in common with fiction, it was a challenge and a pleasure for me to work with someone else's language and my own imagination, trying to combine them. I don't have any illusions about my creation, but I'm glad I did it, I'm generally happy with the result, and I think I've clarified something for myself, which was the idea. If anyone else likes it, I'll be in a state of pure bliss.