Kaelen and Lyria sprinted through the streets of Eldrath, leaping over rubble, dodging shadowborn, and trying very hard not to think about the incredibly angry dark warlord behind them.
"Okay," Lyria panted. "So, running away was your plan?"
"Yes."
"And what's step two?"
Kaelen hesitated. "...I was hoping you had something."
Lyria groaned. "Unbelievable."
Behind them, Malakar was not in a great mood. His billowing cloak—once ominous and regal—was now covered in dust and, somehow, a single banana peel (where had that even come from?). He raised his hands, and shadows coiled around him like an angry storm.
"Enough games," he growled.
Kaelen and Lyria skidded to a stop as a massive wall of darkness erupted in front of them, blocking their path.
Kaelen sighed. "I really hate when villains do that."
They turned, only to find Malakar floating ominously above them, arms crossed.
"Running?" Malakar sneered. "Cowardice doesn't suit you, Kaelen."
Kaelen sheathed his sword. "It's called tactical retreat. Look it up."
Malakar slowly descended, his boots touching the ground with an ominous thud. "You mock me, but the truth is simple: you cannot win." He gestured to the ruined city. "Look around you. The shadows will reclaim this world."
Lyria leaned in to Kaelen. "He's really committed to the monologue, huh?"
Kaelen nodded. "I give it a six out of ten. Bit cliché."
Malakar's eye twitched. "Enough!" He slammed his hand forward, sending a wave of dark energy straight at them.
Kaelen barely had time to react before—
WHAM!
A goat ran directly into Malakar's legs.
Everyone froze.
Malakar staggered, arms flailing, and collapsed face-first into the ground. His dark energy fizzled out harmlessly.
Silence.
Lyria blinked. "Did that goat just—"
Kaelen raised a finger. "Shh. Let's just appreciate this moment."
Malakar groaned, pushing himself up. He glared at the goat, which stood there chewing on a random piece of parchment, completely unbothered.
The warlord pointed an accusing finger. "Why. Is there a goat."
Kaelen grinned. "Eldrath's famous for its goat population."
Malakar clenched his fists. "I swear—"
The goat headbutted him again.
Kaelen gasped. "A hero."
Malakar let out an actual scream of frustration, dark magic surging around him. "I AM DONE WITH THIS CITY!"
The goat just blinked.
Then bit Malakar's cloak.
Lyria had to physically hold Kaelen back from laughing himself to death.
Malakar ripped his cloak free, panting. His fury was palpable. "You know what? Fine. I'll destroy you later." He pointed a menacing finger at Kaelen. "You have not seen the last of me."
With a swirl of shadows, Malakar vanished.
Silence.
Kaelen exhaled. "...Did we just win?"
Lyria gestured at the goat. "That won."
Kaelen turned to the goat. "I owe you my life."
The goat burped.
Then walked away like it had better things to do.
Kaelen wiped a tear from his eye. "A true warrior."
Lyria patted his shoulder. "Come on. Let's go figure out what Malakar's actually up to before he comes back with a grudge and a goat-proof plan."
Kaelen nodded. But deep down, he knew one thing for certain.
Malakar would never emotionally recover from this.