The climb up the mountain was, to put it lightly, miserable.
Kaelen and Lyria had spent the better part of the last two hours hiking through dense forest, slippery rocks, and—just to make things even more enjoyable—dodging the occasional snake. Kaelen, for his part, had developed a particular, very personal disdain for the slithering creatures. Every rustle in the underbrush made him jump, and every time a snake flicked its tongue in his direction, his sword was out before he even realized it.
"I swear, if I see another snake, I'm going to—"
"Kaelen, you've said that five times now," Lyria said, not even looking up from the map she was studying. "You're fine."
"I'm not fine," Kaelen shot back, glancing nervously at the brush beside them. "What if one of them bites me, and then I start turning into one of those monstrous, snake-haired things? I'll never be able to look anyone in the eye again. Literally."
Lyria paused, looking at him with an expression that was equal parts confusion and amusement. "You do realize you're a warrior, right? You've faced armies of shadowborn, dragons, and a warlord with a god complex, but snakes are what you're scared of?"
"I'm just saying," Kaelen muttered, "I've never had to fight something that could coil around me and, you know, squeeze the life out of me. Not to mention, what if they're poisonous?"
"That's why you've got me," Lyria replied with a grin, holding up a vial of glowing blue liquid. "Antidote. Just in case."
Kaelen blinked. "That's your backup plan?"
"Well, if you die from a snake bite, at least I get all the glory," she said with a wink. "You can't expect me to fight Malakar if I'm dragging a Kaelen-shaped corpse around."
Kaelen stared at her for a beat, before rolling his eyes. "I'm seriously starting to regret this partnership."
Lyria chuckled, leading the way up the rocky path. "Oh, come on. It'll be fun. Think of all the things we'll complain about later. And the story we'll tell after we defeat Malakar… or at least survive his latest plan."
"Fun. Right. Fun like swimming in lava or poking a sleeping bear." Kaelen grumbled under his breath.
The path began to steepen as they ascended, and with every step, the air grew thinner, cooler, and more oppressive. The once familiar hum of the earth now felt like a distant, ominous heartbeat that throbbed beneath their feet.
Kaelen glanced at Lyria, noting how she was still moving with practiced ease despite the difficult terrain. "You ever notice that the worst places always seem to be where we're heading? It's like the universe's idea of a joke."
Lyria smirked. "The universe has a great sense of humor. You should have seen the look on Malakar's face when you nearly got stabbed by that goat."
Kaelen let out an exaggerated groan. "We're not doing this again."
"Oh, I think we are. In fact, I'm going to tell everyone that the mighty Kaelen was defeated by a goat."
"That was a fluke," Kaelen said quickly, shaking his head. "I got distracted. Malakar should be the one we're laughing at, not me. Besides, I'm sure he has an even worse embarrassing moment somewhere in his 'evil overlord' scrapbook."
Lyria raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're sure? Because I feel like you'd be the first to collect evil overlord scrapbooks."
"I don't have time for scrapbooks. Or goats. But I'll tell you what: If we survive this, I'm putting a goat in my scrapbook. Just to show I have good taste."
Lyria didn't have a chance to respond before they heard a sound—a low, rumbling growl from the trees ahead of them.
Kaelen's hand instantly went to his sword hilt. "I swear, if that's another snake, I'm going to—"
A massive creature emerged from the shadows.
It wasn't a snake.
It was worse—a giant, armored bear with glowing red eyes.
Kaelen froze, eyes wide. "Okay. That's new."
Lyria slowly drew her sword, clearly amused at Kaelen's shock. "I mean, it's not technically a snake…"
Kaelen stared at the bear, his brain short-circuiting for a moment. "Why… Why is it glowing?"
"I'm guessing it's got some magical enhancements," Lyria replied, stepping forward cautiously. "You know, to make it more bearable."
"Oh my gods," Kaelen muttered, almost too quietly to hear, though Lyria definitely caught it.
Before either of them could do much more than brace themselves, the bear charged. It was faster than they'd expected, the ground shaking as it barreled toward them. Kaelen barely had time to dodge, leaping out of the way just in time to avoid being flattened. The bear skidded to a halt, snapping its massive jaws at him.
"Lyria! A little help here?" Kaelen shouted, rolling to his feet and drawing his sword.
She was already there, sword raised, but she wasn't quite attacking. She was… staring at the bear.
"Do you think it's the latest trend in oversized pets?" Lyria mused, her eyes narrowing.
Kaelen blinked. "What?"
Lyria shrugged. "I mean, it's not like you've got an abundance of normal animals in these parts. Maybe we should try to pet it first before we fight."
"Pet it?!" Kaelen's voice cracked, and he sidestepped another swipe of the bear's claws. "It's a glowing bear with teeth bigger than my sword! I'm not exactly sure petting is on the menu here!"
"Well," Lyria said, "at least we know it's not a snake. Small victories."
They both jumped into action, fighting back the monstrous bear in their usual, well-practiced chaos. Between Kaelen's reckless swings and Lyria's precise strikes, they eventually managed to land enough blows to drive the creature off, but not without a lot of shouting, sword-clanging, and narrowly avoiding being crushed by giant paws.
Kaelen wiped his brow, shaking his head. "Next time, we definitely take the goat route."
Lyria grinned. "Sure. As long as you're okay with a little… beary dangerous fun."
Kaelen groaned. "I'm going to regret that pun forever."