Ethan was done.
No—beyond done.
He was standing in the middle of his now-ruined farm, staring at Celestia and Iris, who were both looking at him like he was some legendary hero.
Tamamo was sipping tea like a smug goddess, and Mia was still reeling from her 'big revelation' that her brother was secretly overpowered.
Ethan?
Ethan just wanted to disappear.
He took a deep breath. Okay. He could fix this.
"Listen," he said carefully. "I think we're all just… overreacting a little."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Overreacting?"
Iris smirked. "You literally crushed our weapons with your bare hands."
Ethan immediately waved her off.
"That was an accident."
Iris crossed her arms. "And the dungeon two years ago?"
"Also an accident."
Celestia narrowed her eyes. "And your unnatural reaction speed?"
"Guess what? Another accident."
Tamamo chuckled. "Ara~ So many accidents. What a truly unfortunate farmer~"
Ethan gritted his teeth. "Tamamo, I swear—"
Then—
Celestia stepped forward.
Ethan tensed.
"If that's truly the case," she said, staring directly into his soul, "then prove it to me."
Ethan blinked. "…What?"
Celestia lifted her chin. "Allow me to stay in this village for a while. If you are truly an ordinary farmer, I will see it for myself."
Ethan's brain shut down.
"…Wait. Hold on. What?!"
Celestia nodded. "It is decided. As a princess, I cannot leave until I confirm the truth."
Ethan felt his soul ascending.
NO. NO, SHE WASN'T DOING THIS.
Before he could argue, Iris stepped forward too.
"Sounds fun," she said. "Then I'll stay too."
Ethan snapped.
"WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
Iris grinned. "If I watch you long enough, maybe I'll figure out your secrets."
Ethan was losing his mind.
"I HAVE NO SECRETS."
Iris shrugged. "Then you won't mind me staying."
"I MIND. I ABSOLUTELY MIND."
Celestia turned to her knights.
"We will establish a temporary base here," she declared.
"WAIT. NO, YOU WILL NOT."
The knights, still recovering from their collective trauma, saluted weakly.
"Y-Y-YES, YOUR HIGHNESS—"
Ethan grabbed his head.
"OH GODS, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING—"
Then—
A hand touched his shoulder.
Ethan flinched.
Slowly—very, very reluctantly—he turned.
And saw Mia smiling up at him.
…Wait.
Why was she smiling?
That was never a good sign.
Mia clasped her hands together.
"Big bro," she said sweetly, "it's so wonderful that you're making more friends!"
Ethan froze.
Oh.
Oh no.
Mia was happy about this.
She thought this was a good thing.
Ethan felt his world crumbling.
Mia giggled. "It'll be fun having more people around, right?"
"NO, IT WON'T—"
Mia ignored him.
She clapped her hands together and beamed.
"I'll go make extra rooms!"
Ethan choked.
"EXTRA WHAT?!"
Mia rushed inside, already making plans.
And just like that—
It was over.
Ethan stared blankly at the sky.
The gods had abandoned him.
Meanwhile, Celestia nodded in satisfaction.
"It's settled then. I will observe you until I determine the truth."
Iris grinned. "And I'll stick around until you admit how strong you are."
Ethan was dead inside.
Tamamo, the only one truly enjoying this, giggled behind her sleeve.
"Ara~ My dear Ethan, how fortunate~ Surrounded by such lovely company~"
Ethan slowly turned toward her.
His eye twitched violently.
"Tamamo," he said flatly.
"Yes, dear~?"
"Leave."
Tamamo smiled.
"Ara? But I live here too~"
Ethan's soul officially left his body.
"…I'm moving to the mountains."
Celestia smirked. "I'll follow."
Iris grinned. "Me too."
Tamamo laughed.
Ethan screamed internally.
His peaceful farm life?
Officially. Completely. 100%.
Dead.
---