Chapter 5 - Chapter-265


Give up

Keifer's POV

They're all looking at me like I'm a criminal. I deserve it. "What the hell Keifer!" Yuri said
and grabbed me by my shirt. " You hurt Jay-jay and Kit because of your suspicions!" I pushed his hand away.
Despite what happened, I couldn't show that I was sorry. Even though that's what I really felt. I'm full of regrets
and agony. It took me a long time to realize. It took me a long time to realize that anger had consumed me
again. I hurt her. I hurt the woman I love and my friend. What the fvck is wrong with me?! I just said that I don't
want to hurt her anymore but my body seems to have a mind of its own. I knew she was already in pain. I
noticed how she's having trouble walking. She even fell down earlier at the stairs. But I was blind to her
suffering because all I could see was the pain I was feeling. How selfish of me. "What's wrong with you
Keifer?" Ci-N almost whispered. I can feel his fear at me. I look at him and the others with blank expression.
"Is it bad to get angry?" I ask them. "It's not bad to get angry. But what you did was bad! You made your temper
flare!" Yuri said still shouting at me. I chuckled bitterly. "Kit didn't kiss her." Someone said that made me stop. I
saw Edrix walking toward me. He looked angry but there was concern. "I heard them having an argument
about it." "I heard that before too! But Jay-jay made it clear that it didn't work out. Kit was just trying." He
explained. Shit! I'm a fvcking dim-witted! "Are you telling me the truth?" He shook his head slightly. "I can't
believe it. Are you really that narrow-minded!" He shouted. He's obviously mad. I can't blame them. I
embarrassed Jay-jay in front of them and others just because of my jealousy and anger. "...of course it's true!
Do you think Jay-jay would just kiss anyone? Think about it!" I almost laugh at his question. I looked at David
whose face was still swollen from my punches. If only I could crush his skull, I would have done it. I know
Edrix is telling me the truth. He's not lying to me and he has no reason to do that. I sat down on the floor while
pulling myself up. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be acting like this but I feel like I'm going crazy. I want
this to end! I want my suffering to end! Even the people around me are affected because of me. I'm taking my
stress and pressure from what's happening to me out on them. "I think we should leave Keifer alone." Yuri said
to them. "It's better... Let's go to Kit at the hospital first." Rory said. "Let's go to the faculty first and say
goodbye." It was Calix. They all walk together and leave me alone. Until two pairs of feet touch me. "K-keifer...
I'll go see Jay-jay first. He looks like he's not feeling well." Ci-N said. I look at him and force a smile. "Please
do... I want to know if she's alright." "It's obvious she's not okay." Felix said. "...I hope Keifer, think carefully
about what you did. You can't let your temper get the best of you all the time." I just nodded and watched them
leave. How can I control myself? How can I control this anger? If I let him lead me, I'll just hurt Jay-jay. I don't
want to see her suffer. What should I do? In this situation, there's only one person I can think of talking to. He's
the only one who can clear my mind. He's the only one I know can give me a good answer. I grab my phone
and dialed his number. ["Keifer..."] Is the first word I heard from him. "Can we meet? I just need to talk." ["Sure.
In the old place."] He said and ended the call. My mind is filled with so many thoughts. I feel like this day will
never end. I'm sorry Jay... I'm not just apologizing to anyone. I don't want to put myself down and blame
myself. But for Jay-jay, I'm ready to kneel. I'm ready to put myself down. I forced myself to stand up and walk
out of the classroom. I felt like I was out of my mind as I made my way to the parking lot. I didn't even realize
that I had almost passed my car. Luckily, I noticed the parked car that I almost hit. I get inside my car and
immediately start the engine. I tried to concentrate on driving because I might get hit. But I still couldn't help
but step on the gas hard. I arrived at my destination without realizing it. I parked my car and noticed the car of
the person I wanted to talk to was here. He came here before I did. Maybe he's thirsty and ready to taste some
alcohol. I quickly got out of the car and went inside. Kingsground... I remembered the first time I saw this
place. It was just an empty building. It was being used as a boxing ring by people who wanted to show off
their strength. A hangout for students who didn't want to go and a hideout for people who did stupid things to
the law. I can't believe Tiger really pursues his dream. To have a place where everybody is free. Free to have an
alcohol, free to dance crazily, free to fight till death stop them and free to be whoever they wanted to be. I
thought it was just a joke. He and his friends were talking drunk .Meanwhile, Angelo and I just listened while
laughing at him. When we entered, there was no one around except for the crew cleaning and mopping the
floor. The disco section was closed, so it was like this. I heard a slow clap from not to far away. I looked at
who it was. "Look who we have here!" Tiger yelled while walking toward me. He was wearing a black shirt and
white shorts. His shoes were yellow, which hurt his eyes. "I'm looking for someone!" I said. "I know... He's
upstairs." He answered and pointed to his office. I didn't wait for him to say anything. I went up to his glass
wall office. This place is soundproof, so there's no noise from outside or inside. Because it's a glass wall, you
can clearly see the stage and disco ground below. A great office for the owner of this place. That yellow-
haired guy is really good at planning. When I opened the door, the person I met had his back turned while
sitting in a swivel chair. He is also drinking expensive Brandy. "You're late." He said and took a sip. "...or am I
too early?" "I hurt Jay-jay." After saying those words his glass flew through me. It almost hit me in
the head but I remain in my position.
"Dammit Keifer! I told you to stay away from my cousin!" He
shouted while pointing at me.
It's been a while since I last saw him angry. But the feeling
is still the same. Part of me is still afraid of him.
Michael Angelo.
"What did you do to him?" He asked while trying to hold his anger.
I stared at him for a while. How does he do that? How does he
suppress his anger? After all, we're almost the same.
It's just scarier for him to get angry.
"H-how did you do that?" I ask out of curiosity.
For a moment, the reason I was here disappeared from my mind.
"What?!" He asked in confusion. "I'm asking you about Jay-jay!"
My anger. I have to control it!
As I looked at him, I couldn't help but hesitate to
answer his question. Maybe he'll kill me when he hears my answer
.
"Ii..."
"Aries called me earlier. He said Jay-jay might have come home because he
wasn't feeling well. I texted at home but they said
he wasn't there yet." He said. "...are you involved?"
I lowered my head. "She's at the hospital."
It wasn't even a second before I felt his fist hit
my face. I don't know how he crossed the distance between us
.
I fell to the floor and writhed in pain. He hit my jaw
.
Fvck his fist and punch!
"I'll kill you Keifer! What did you do that you had to
take him to the hospital?"
"N-no..." The pain is giving me trouble to speak.
He grabs my shirt and lifts me up. He forces me to face him.
"Keifer... Speak now or I will break every bone in your body." He
said with authority.
His eyes are raging with anger. His threat is true because he can
really do that. He can literally break every inch of my bones.
"Ii... I humiliate h-her in front... of many p-people and ignore... the
act that she's i-in... bait." I explained while catching my breath because
of pain.
I let him go and fell to the floor again. I forced myself
to sit and lean against the glass wall. I catch my breath properly and rest at the
same time.
"What do you mean she's in pain?" He asked calmly.
"I don't know what happened but I noticed she's having trouble
walking."
He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. He turned his
back on me while waiting for someone to answer his call.
"Hey... It's me." He said. "Please check the CCTV record around my
area. Look for a girl wearing an HVIS uniform and riding a bike." He
paused for a while. "...yes. I'm talking about my cousin Jay-jay." He
paused again and looked at me. "Sure. I owe you."
He put the phone back in his pocket after ending the call and
came closer to me. I stood up and brushed my clothes. I still feel a bit dizzy
but I choose to ignore it.
"Explained to me everything."
I did what he ordered while drinking alcohol. It was the same as what
he was drinking. I started when my head started to heat up and
my anger towards Kit and them was piling up.
He was listening intently while sipping from his new glass of Brandy.
I expected him to get angry again after I told him the truth.
I also prepared my body in case his fist flew
at my face again.
But after telling him what happened he didn't say a thing. He kept
sipping from his glass until it's empty.
He still didn't speak so I broke the silence.
"Aren't you going to hit me again?"
He shook his head. "One punch is enough. Before,
I might have broken your skull but now... I can handle things
without using my fist all the time."
I stared at the glass I was holding. I shook it slightly and
the ice inside stirred.
"I don't know what to do anymore." I whispered.
Angelo cleared his throat. "To be honest with you,
you did a good job. You just pushed Jay-jay away from you."
Yes, I just did.
I know he doesn't want me for Jay-jay. He doesn't want
me to get close to him. He doesn't want what happened to him before to happen again. He does
n't want that to happen to us.
I'm not damn. Even if he doesn't show it, I know he's still carrying
his past. With the woman who built him but also crushed him.
Ion.
"...You're stubborn." He said and poured alcohol into his glass.
"...I want Jay-jay to study hard but it seems like
his head is getting even harder." He sighed. "
I should have transferred him to a different section a long time ago."
"Do you hate me that much?"
He stopped before taking another sip from his glass.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you hate me that much that you don't want me for Jay-jay?"
"I don't hate you but I don't really like you for Jay-jay." He
answered.
Even though I know that, I still can't help but
eel sad. It's like he doesn't like me at all.
"W-why?" I feel numb from my throat.
"Because you have a very complicated life. I don't want
Jay-jay to be involved in your family's troubles. His life is already in turmoil and he doesn't
need you like him." He's looking straight at me while
explaining "...and one more thing... I see myself in you."
He's probably right. I shouldn't involve Jay-jay in
my family's troubles anymore. As long as he's attached to me, he and he alone will be targeted by
Clyde and the Elders.
"What should I do?" I asked him without thinking.
His eyes filled with authority, like a King in his throne. No one can
dethrone him from his position. And like before, his words are still
powerful.
"Push her away from you."
Those words strike me like an arrow. I have to push her away. It's the
only way to protect her from my family... From me.
But pushing her away means... Hurting her.
No.
The image of her crying because of me is giving me so much pain
already. But I don't have any choice. I have no other option.
It seems like I can't, I can't let her go. I can't
lose her to me. I'm going crazy! I can't do it.
I can't control myself anymore. I fell to my knees as
my tears fell. I dropped the glass I was holding.
"N-no... I can't." I said and cried like a child.
I don't know but I feel like I'm being crushed. I can't
lose Jay-jay to me. I don't know what I'll do when
that happens.
Everything I like, I don't want. I did everything
so they could be mine. But it's pointless because Yuri is still
on their minds. And I was left without anyone to love.
Now I've been given the chance to love and be loved.
But why does this have to happen? Why do I have to push her
away from me? I feel like I no longer have the right to be happy.
I heard a footsteps walking toward me. I didn't bother to look.
"Look at yourself. You're weak." Angelo said. "...How can you
fight for me if you can't protect me from
your anger?"
I'm not strong enough.
"...Show me our difference. Prove to me that you deserve her."
I will... I will prove to you.
I will do anything to prove it. I will fight for her and I will never let her
go. I will make myself stronger. But I have to protect her first. From my
relatives and from me. I have to push her away. I need to do that.
But I need you so bad... Jay-jay.