The last thing I remembered was the car accident. A truck had run a red light, t-boning my car and sending it flipping through the air. The car had landed upside-down on its roof and the smell of gas had filled the air. The last thing I saw was the sight of fire coming towards me before everything went black.
My next memory was of a bright light, and the feeling of floating in a liquid.
Now, I was inside a forest clearing, standing on the damp ground and blinking at the sun. It was bright and warm, and the sun felt like it had been bathing my skin in its rays for some time. The air was crisp and smelled faintly of pine, and the sound of a bird cawing made me flinch.
A forest. A fucking forest.
I blinked again and shook my head, trying to make sense of my situation. I had been driving home from work, it had been a Monday evening, and the day had been pretty boring. Now, I was somewhere that definitely wasn't on Earth.
This wasn't an ordinary forest. No, this place was way too quiet. There wasn't a single sound to be heard. Even a forest would have a little more noise than this, unless I was in the deepest, most remote parts of the world. But I could feel the sun, so it wasn't night time. And the plants around me seemed to be the typical kind of plant you'd see in the Western world.
This was starting to look like a typical Isekai scenario. The kind where a normal human being would be reincarnated into a new world as a powerful entity. I'd been obsessed with such stories for as long as I could remember, reading a couple every month. And now I was living it.
I looked down at my hands. They were still the same shade of pale I was used to, and they looked perfectly ordinary.
I pinched my arm. Ouch! Yep, definitely not a dream.
But was I truly in an Isekai world? I didn't have any sort of cheat powers or magic. I was just a regular human being, albeit one who'd lived an extremely average life.
I had gone to a university that I got into without studying, had worked a 9-to-5 job as a software engineer, had no hobbies, and had been single all my life. In fact, I'd only ever kissed one girl, and that had been during a game of truth or dare back in high school.
That was embarrassing to say out loud. But it was also the truth. I was a boring, ordinary man, and if this was indeed an Isekai world, then I was fucked.
"Hey," I said out loud. "Are there any gods here? Or whatever you call yourselves? Is anyone watching?"
No answer.
"I've seen anime like this. You're going to put me through some kind of trial, aren't you? A test of character, to see if I can survive in this world."
Still no answer.
"Well, whatever," I muttered. "It's not like I'm expecting a response."
I walked towards the forest, picking a direction at random. I didn't know what kind of monsters lived here, but I'd have to deal with them eventually. Might as well get it over with.
But a thought struck me.
Why am I naked?
It was a bit late to ask the question, but it suddenly dawned on me that I was standing bare-assed in the middle of a forest.
"Huh."
I glanced at my crotch, making sure my penis hadn't been replaced by a pussy. Nope, all was in order there.
"Huh," I said again.
I looked up at the sky, squinting at the sunlight.
"What the hell is going on?"
This was a little weird, even for an Isekai.
I continued walking, heading deeper into the forest. As I walked, the sounds of birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves slowly faded away. The ground grew damp under my feet, and the trees seemed to loom taller overhead.
"This is fucking creepy," I muttered.
There was a sudden hiss behind me, and I whirled around. Something had moved among the trees, a shadowy figure darting between the trunks.
I froze, my heart pounding. I strained my ears, listening for any sounds, but there was nothing.
I took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Okay," I said to myself. "It's okay. Just keep moving."
I turned back and continued walking. I felt like a target, completely exposed, but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't see the thing that was following me, so I had no way of defending myself.
And besides, this was a typical Isekai set-up. Something was hunting me, and I'd have to face it sooner or later.
The forest seemed to grow even darker as I walked, the trees looming closer and the ground becoming muddier.
I looked up, trying to spot the sun. I couldn't see it, which was weird. It had been bright and sunny just a moment ago. Now, the sky was covered in dark clouds.
"Okay, that's just bullshit," I said. "That wasn't there a second ago."
Another hiss came from behind me, followed by the sound of something scurrying through the undergrowth. I spun around, looking for the source of the sound, but I couldn't see anything.
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm.
"Whatever you are, come out and fight me!" I yelled. "If you're trying to scare me, it's not working!"
I didn't really mean that. I was terrified, but I didn't want the thing to know that.
There was a long silence. Then, a figure emerged from the shadows.
It was a giant fucking snake!
The thing was huge, at least 20 feet long and three feet wide. Its scales were a dull greenish-brown, and its eyes were a sickly yellow.
"Holy shit!" I yelled.
The snake hissed, its tongue flicking out, and began slithering towards me.
"Fuck!"
I turned and ran. I had no idea what else to do. The thing was huge, and there was no way I could fight it.
The snake hissed again and lunged. It was fast, faster than I expected.
"Shit!"
I ducked, narrowly avoiding its bite. The thing was almost on top of me, and I didn't have much room to maneuver.
I rolled out of the way and scrambled to my feet.
I had no idea I was this athletic.
The snake turned, hissing again, and I saw its mouth open, revealing a row of wickedly sharp teeth.
There was no place to run or hide for me, it was either be eaten or be eaten while fighting.
"Alright, let's do this."
I balled my fists and squared up against the snake, bracing myself for its next attack.
I was scared shitless, but I wasn't going to give up without a fight.
"Come on!" I shouted. "Bring it!"
The snake hissed again and slithered towards me.
I had to time this just right.
When the snake was a few feet away, I dove to the side. The snake hissed, its jaws snapping shut where I had been a moment ago.
I quickly got to my feet and punched the snake as hard as I could in the side of the head.
The head of the fucking snake fucking exploded like a fucking watermelon!
I stood there, shocked at what I had just done.
"What the fuck..."
How had I done that? I was just a regular, non-athletic, boring software developer. There was no way I should have been able to do that.
But it was real. I could feel the blood and gore splattered all over me.
The snake's body thrashed, and I leapt away, barely avoiding its death throes.
After a moment, the thing went still.
I took a deep breath and looked around. The forest was silent once more.
"Okay, what the fuck was that?"
It wasn't a typical Isekai, and I wasn't a typical hero. But it was real.
And for some reason... I was butt naked.