After the whole "Alex is actually a girl" revelation, we sat in the cafeteria for a while, trying to process everything. Elliot was still blushing, Alex was smirking like she'd just won the lottery, and I was trying to figure out how I'd managed to not notice Alex was a girl this whole time. I mean, sure, she had a deep voice and wore a hoodie all the time, but still. I felt like I'd failed some kind of friendship test.
Eventually, Elliot broke the silence. "We should check the upper floors," he said, leaning back in his chair. "It's dark outside, but maybe we can see something from the windows. You know, like if there are more zombies, or survivors, or… I don't know, a giant neon sign that says 'SAFETY THIS WAY.'"
I raised an eyebrow. "You really think we're going to see anything useful in the dark?"
Elliot shrugged. "Worth a shot. Besides, sitting here isn't doing us any favors."
Alex nodded. "He's got a point. We might as well check it out."
I sighed. "Fine. But if we get eaten by zombies because of your bright idea, Elliot, I'm haunting you."
"Noted," Elliot said, grinning.
We got up and headed for the stairs, moving slowly and quietly. The school was still eerily silent, and every little sound made me jump. My broom was in my hands, ready to whack anything that moved. Elliot was in the lead, bat at the ready, and Alex was behind me, crowbar in hand.
As we walked, I tried to stay alert, my eyes darting around like I was in some kind of spy movie. But then, out of nowhere, Elliot leaned over and shouted, "BOO!" right in my ear.
I screamed. Like, full-on horror movie scream. Then, without thinking, I slapped him. Hard.
"Ow!" Elliot yelped, clutching his cheek. "What was that for?"
"For being an idiot!" I hissed, my heart still racing. "I was trying to be alert, not have a heart attack!"
Elliot pouted, rubbing his red cheek. "You're no fun."
Alex, meanwhile, was trying not to laugh. She covered her mouth with her hand, but I could see her shoulders shaking.
"Oh, sure, laugh it up," I muttered, glaring at her.
"Sorry," Alex said, still giggling. "It's just… you two are like a comedy duo. Mira and Elliot: Zombie Slayers and Professional Bickerers."
Elliot grinned. "I'd watch that show."
"I wouldn't," I said, rolling my eyes.
We kept moving, climbing the stairs slowly and listening for any sounds. The school felt even creepier at night, like something out of a horror movie. The shadows seemed longer, the silence heavier. Every creak of the stairs made me tense up, and I kept expecting a zombie to jump out at us.
Then we heard it.
A noise. A random creaking sound, like something was shuffling around. It was faint, but it was there. And it sounded like… mumbling?
We froze. My heart skipped a beat, and I could feel goosebumps crawling up my spine. Even Elliot looked serious for once, his grip tightening on his bat.
"What… is that?" Alex whispered, her voice barely audible.
"It's the hamsters," I said, trying to sound confident but failing miserably.
Elliot and Alex both gulped hard and nodded seriously. It was clear they wanted to laugh at my hypothesis, but they were too scared to do it right now.
As we slowly approached the second floor, my mind started racing. Would we be sleeping in the dark tonight? I wondered. I'd never slept in the dark, even at home alone. But turning on the lights might attract zombies. Ugh, why did everything have to be so complicated?
The creaking noises got louder, pulling me out of my thoughts. We followed the sound, moving as quietly as possible. It was coming from one of the classrooms.
We reached the door, and Elliot slid it open slowly.
"F*cking hamsters have been zombified!" Elliot screamed, his face twisted into a comically horrified expression.
Alex and I stared at the scene in front of us. There they were, tiny, zombified hamsters. Their fur was matted, their eyes were glowing, and they were shuffling around like they'd just come back from the dead (which, technically, they had). They were both disgusting and… kind of cute?
"See? I was right!" I said, pointing at the hamsters. "Now, who's going to kill them? Because I'm not touching those disgusting yet adorable little things."
Alex stepped forward, her shoulders shaking. She had this intense, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure expression on her face, like she was about to unleash some kind of stand power.
We waited for her next move.
But then, suddenly, she burst into tears.
"I can't do it!" she wailed. "They're too disgusting and innocent! Unlike those intestine-hanging zombies outside!"
Elliot stepped back, his face frozen in the same JoJo expression. "I'm weaker than you girls," he said, holding up his hands. "What do you expect me to do?"
I groaned. "Great. So we're just going to stand here and let the zombified hamsters take over the school? Fantastic plan, guys."
The hamsters, meanwhile, were still shuffling around, completely oblivious to our existential crisis.
****
After the whole zombified hamster fiasco, we did the only logical thing: we locked the classroom door with a chair so those tiny, evil little furballs couldn't escape. None of us had the heart (or the guts) to deal with them. I mean, sure, they were undead and probably dangerous, but they were also kind of cute in a gross, rotting kind of way.
"There," I said, stepping back from the door. "Now they can't get out. Problem solved."
Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Problem solved? What if they figure out how to open doors?"
I stared at him. "They're hamsters, Elliot. Not geniuses."
"Zombie hamsters," he corrected. "For all we know, they've developed super intelligence and are plotting their revenge as we speak."
Alex groaned. "Can we not give them superpowers? They're already creepy enough."
We all took a deep breath, relieved that the creepy noises were just hamsters and not a horde of zombies waiting to ambush us. But the relief didn't last long.
"We should keep going," Elliot said, pointing up the stairs. "If we get to the top floor, we can see outside better. Maybe we'll spot something useful."
"Like what?" I asked. "A zombie marching band? A parade of survivors waving 'HELP US' signs?"
Elliot shrugged. "You never know. Maybe we'll get lucky."
I rolled my eyes but followed him anyway. Alex trailed behind us, her crowbar still at the ready. The higher we climbed, the darker and creepier the school felt. The shadows seemed to stretch longer, and every little sound made me jump.
When we finally reached the top floor, just below the terrace, we stopped to catch our breath. The hallway was eerily quiet, and the windows at the end of the corridor offered a view of the outside world.
We crept over to the windows and peered out.
"Oh. My. God," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
The street below was packed with zombies. Like, packed. It looked like a festival crowd, except instead of people eating cotton candy and taking selfies, it was zombies shuffling around, groaning, and occasionally tripping over their own feet.
Elliot gulped. "Well… that's not good."
"You think?" I snapped, my voice rising an octave. "There are, like, a million zombies down there!"
Alex squinted. "I don't think it's a million. Maybe… a few hundred?"
"Oh, great," I said, throwing my hands up. "Only a few hundred zombies. That makes me feel so much better."
We all stood there for a moment, staring at the sea of undead below. It was like watching a really bad reality show, except we were the ones in danger of getting voted off the island, permanently.
"So… what now?" Alex asked, breaking the silence.
Elliot sighed. "We stay here. At least for tonight. There's no way we're getting through that."
I nodded. "Agreed. Sleeping in a zombie-infested school is way better than getting eaten by a zombie-infested mob."
"Comforting," Alex muttered.
We decided to head back downstairs to the cafeteria, where we'd at least have some food and a barricaded door between us and the zombies. As we walked, my mind started racing again.
"Do you think the hamsters will be okay?" I asked, half-joking.
Elliot snorted. "Who cares? They're zombies. They'll probably start a little hamster zombie army and take over the school."
"Great," I said. "First zombies, now zombie hamsters. What's next? Zombie pigeons?"
Alex groaned. "Don't even joke about that. I hate pigeons."
We reached the cafeteria and barricaded the door again, just to be safe. Then we sat down, exhausted and still a little freaked out.
"So," Elliot said, leaning back in his chair. "What's the plan for tomorrow?"
I shrugged. "Survive. Try not to get eaten. Maybe find a way out of this mess."
Alex nodded. "Sounds like a solid plan."
Elliot grinned. "And if all else fails, we can always release the zombie hamsters and let them deal with the zombies."
I groaned. "Please don't give me nightmares."
As we sat there, trying to come up with a better plan, I couldn't help but feel a tiny flicker of hope. Sure, the world was falling apart, and we were surrounded by zombies (and zombie hamsters), but at least we were together. And for now, that was enough.
"Note to self: Zombie hamsters are officially the weirdest thing about the apocalypse. Also, Elliot and Alex are useless in a hamster crisis." – Mira's Internal Monologue