He knew that he was setting himself up for heartbreak, that he was going to end up hurt and broken. But he couldn't bring himself to stop. He was in too deep now, and there was no going back. He would just have to endure the guilt and pain, and treasure every moment he had with Tobias.
Because deep down, he knew that their time together was limited, and that their story would not have a happy ending. The more he got to know him, the more he realized that he was in love with him. He was in love with Tobias, the knight who had been ordered to kill him. It was cruel and ironic. A love that was doomed from the start.
But he couldn't help it. He was drawn to him in a way he had never been drawn to anyone before. He was charming, witty, and had a sharp sense of humor. He was also strong, disciplined, and loyal to a fault. Everything about him was admirable, and he was unable to resist his charms. Cyrus was the one who wanted to seduce Tobias not the other way around. So why? Why is this making him feel so much.
Every time they spent time together, Cyrus could feel himself falling harder and harder for him. It was a cruel irony that they were destined to be on opposite sides of this conflict. He wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him how he felt, but he knew it would not happen. That love soon faded. As much as he loved him, he knew that his love was doomed to die. It was only a matter of time before the weight of their responsibilities caught up to them, and they would be forced to choose between their love and duty.
The thought filled him with dread, and he found himself trying to distance himself from Tobias. He tried to focus on his own duties, to avoid him as much as possible, but it was a losing battle. Every time he saw him, his heart would start to race, his breath would catch in his throat. It was a constant battle between his heart and his head, between the desire to be with him and the need to keep him at arm's length.
He knew that the longer he let this go on, the harder it would be to let go when the time came. So he tried to push him away, to make him hate him. He said cruel words, he was distant and cold. He told himself that it was for the best, that it was the only way to protect himself from the hurt that was surely coming.
But every time he saw the hurt in Tobias' eyes, he felt a pang of guilt and regret. He knew that he was hurting him, but he also knew that he was also hurting himself. It was a necessary evil, a sacrifice he had to make to protect himself from the inevitable heartbreak. He tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing, that he was being strong and logical.
But deep down, he knew it was all just a lie. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to feel his touch, he wanted to hear him say he loved him. But he couldn't have it, and that knowledge was eating him alive. Cyrus felt like he was drowning in a deep sea. Even more then he was before he overheard Kace and Tobias. He's honestly always been drowning in emotions.
He hated craving for someone he could never have. As the days went by, he could feel himself shutting down. He stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped talking. All he could think about was Tobias, and the pain of being unable to be with him. He was miserable, and he knew it was all his own fault. He thought that he had made the right choice, that he was protecting himself from the pain of an inevitable heartbreak.
But in the end, he was only hurting himself. He was a shell of his former self, a shadow of the lively and confident prince he once was. He knew he had to pull himself together, to snap out of this funk and focus on his duties. His kingdom needed him, and he couldn't let his personal problems get in the way of his responsibilities. But it was easier said than done. He felt like he was drowning, and no matter how hard he tried to swim to the surface, he just kept sinking deeper.