SCP Universe, IKEA Store
Two days later...
"...and then Lisa tried teaching her cat to fetch," Emma said, managing a small laugh. "But it just looked at her like she was insane and went back to sleep."
Adrian nodded, letting her chatter fill the silence as they walked through the endless aisles. She'd been telling him stories about her life before the Store, probably to keep her mind off their current situation. The blood had been cleaned from her clothes, but dark circles under her eyes showed she wasn't sleeping well.
"Do you have any pets?" she asked.
"No." Adrian paused. "Unless you count Derflinger."
"I am NOT a pet," the sword grumbled.
Emma smiled slightly. It was good to see her recovering some of her spirit, even if she still flinched whenever they passed Staff members.
They turned down another aisle and Adrian froze. The scent hit him first, hundreds of humans, along with something... different.
Medical supplies. Herbs. Death.
"What's wrong?" Emma asked.
Adrian pointed ahead. In the distance, massive walls rose up, built from shelving units and furniture. But unlike the previous settlements, these walls were covered in artwork. Hundreds of paintings and drawings showed someone in long black robes and a beaked mask.
"Is that... are those plague doctor masks?" Emma squinted at the artwork.
When they got closer, Adrian noticed more details. The walls went for nearly half a mile in each direction. Guards in modified IKEA uniforms patrolled the top, carrying spears with price scanners attached to the ends.
A guard spotted them and raised a hand. "Halt! State your business!"
Emma stepped closer to Adrian as more guards gathered at the wall. Unlike the empty-eyed survivors or frenzied cultists they'd encountered before, these people moved with a lot more energy.
"We're looking for shelter," Adrian called back.
The guards looked at each other, then one yelled back. "Wait there! We'll send someone to check you."
A section of the wall opened, revealing a makeshift gate. Four people in white coats emerged, carrying clipboards and wearing surgical masks. Behind them walked someone much taller, dressed in dark robes with a distinctive plague doctor mask.
Emma grabbed Adrian's arm. "What's with the costumes?"
"Those aren't costumes," Derflinger whispered.
The plague doctor ran towards them, examining both Adrian and Emma from a distance. The white-coated assistants scribbled notes frantically.
"The female carries the Pestilence, as expected. But you..." He pointed at Adrian. "You are completely clean - the first one I've encountered in centuries! Well… besides that fellow." Plague Doctor clasped his gloved hands together.
"The what?" Emma stepped back. "I'm not sick!"
"My dear, you are very ill. All living beings carry the Great Dying within them." The plague doctor bowed slightly. "I am known as SCP-049, though you may call me Plague Doctor. I have dedicated my existence to curing this terrible affliction."
"You said I'm... clean?" Adrian asked carefully.
"Yes!" Plague Doctor nodded his beaked head. "Tell me, what makes you different? Why are you free of the Pestilence while all others suffer?"
Adrian stared at the strange man, unsure how to respond. "I don't know what Pestilence you're talking about."
"Ah, of course! You must be one of Dr. Clef's agents." Plague Doctor stepped closer. "The Foundation has finally sent someone to assist with my research."
Emma looked between them in confusion. "What Foundation? What's going on?"
"My dear, there is no need for concern." Plague Doctor waved at his assistants. "Please, escort this young lady to the medical wing for examination. I must speak with our Foundation contact privately."
Emma grabbed Adrian's arm. "Don't leave me alone with them!"
"She stays with me," Adrian said firmly.
The plague doctor tilted his head. "As you wish. Come, both of you. We have much to discuss, and the Staff are particularly active in this section today."
They followed him through the gate into a massive settlement. Unlike the previous communities, he didn't see any odd behaviour. A lot of people were chatting without any care in the world, and while there were some people in white coats rushing around carrying clipboards and medical supplies, it seemed like a normal community overall.
He did spot some dead Staff members being dragged toward large medical tents.
"Welcome to my laboratory," Plague Doctor announced proudly. "Here, we work tirelessly to cure the advanced Pestilence infecting these poor Store attendants."
Adrian watched as a group of people strapped a Staff member to a table. The creature lay motionless while someone in surgical gear prepared various instruments.
"You... operate on the Staff?" Adrian asked.
"Indeed! They suffer from the most severe cases I've ever encountered." Plague Doctor pulled a massive microscope from his small medical bag. "See for yourself!"
Emma stared at the impossibly large device. "How did that fit in there?"
"Science, my dear. Now then..." The plague doctor turned to Adrian. "Dr. Clef must've sent you to assist with my research. Tell me, what are you specialized in?"
Adrian chose his words carefully. "I think there's been a misunderstanding. I don't know any Dr. Clef."
The plague doctor froze. "But... you're free of the Pestilence. How is that possible unless..." He straightened up. "Unless you've already discovered a cure!"
Before Adrian could respond, alarms blared throughout the settlement. Red lights flashed as people started running.
"Doctor!" Someone shouted from the wall. "The lights are going out in Section 7!"
The plague doctor grabbed medical supplies from his endless bag. "Duty calls! Come, you must show me your cure in action!"
Adrian glanced at Emma, who looked terrified.
He'd have to play along for now, at least until he understood what was happening in this strange community.
"Stay here," Adrian told Emma, pushing her toward a group of medical assistants. "Keep her safe."
A horde of Staff members ran toward the settlement walls, and Adrian counted at least thirty of them at first glance.
Plague Doctor leapt from the wall. He landed among the Staff and touched the nearest one with a gloved hand. The creature dropped instantly, no struggle, no resistance.
Just... dead.
Adrian watched in disbelief as this Plague Doctor moved through the horde. Each touch brought instant death. No visible wounds. The Staff simply collapsed wherever those gloved fingers made contact.
"Come! Show me your cure!" Plague Doctor called out while casually killing three more Staff with quick taps. "We must compare methods!"
Adrian drew Derflinger but kept his distance. Something about this masked figure set off every survival instinct he had. The casual way he dispensed death with a mere touch...
"Partner," Derflinger whispered. "Be careful. Whatever he is, he's not human."
"I noticed." Adrian watched another Staff member fall to Plague Doctor's touch. "What kind of power lets someone kill that easily?"
Plague Doctor turned toward him. "Why do you hesitate? Surely Dr. Clef informed you of my work!"
Five more Staff rushed the walls.
Adrian intercepted them with Derflinger, cutting them down the old-fashioned way.
"Hmm." Plague Doctor tilted his head. "A crude method, but effective. Tell me, does dismemberment play a role in your cure?"
Adrian backed away slightly. "I don't have a cure. I just kill them."
"Nonsense! You must have something special. The Pestilence doesn't exist in you!" Plague Doctor stepped closer. "Perhaps... perhaps I should examine you more closely..."
Those gloved hands reached toward Adrian, and he immediately jumped back. Would that death-touch work on him too?
He wasn't going to find out.
"Stop!" Adrian backed away from those reaching hands. "If you must know, I'm not human. I'm not from this dimension at all."
Plague Doctor paused. "Not from this dimension?"
"I come from a world called Zerus. Maybe that's why I don't have this Pestilence you keep talking about - it doesn't exist where I'm from."
"A different dimension!" Plague Doctor pulled an enormous scanning device from his medical bag. "This explains everything! We must study you immediately. A full dissection should-"
"Wait!" Adrian dodged another grab while he thought on what to do.
He needed something to distract this persistent doctor.
His head throbbed slightly as he forced a paradox onto his Crystalline Minecraft Pearl. A real steak appeared out of thin air in his hand, and he waved it in front of the Plague Doctor.
"Why don't you examine this instead?" Adrian held out the steak. "It's from another dimension too. Should be free of your Pestilence, right?"
Plague Doctor stopped reaching for Adrian and stared at the meat. "From another dimension, you say?" He pulled out a magnifying glass the size of a dinner plate. "Most intriguing! And you can produce more samples?"
"Yes, but they take time to create." Adrian relaxed slightly as the doctor's attention shifted away from dissecting him. "I have other items too, all free of any disease."
"Wonders abound!" Plague Doctor pulled more equipment from his bag. "Come, we must study this in my laboratory. Perhaps comparing clean tissue to infected specimens will yield new insights!"
Adrian followed at a safe distance as Plague Doctor led him through the settlement. People stepped aside respectfully, bowing to the masked figure. Some carried dead Staff members toward a large building marked 'Research Wing'.
"Tell me," Plague Doctor spoke while walking. "In this other dimension of yours, what methods do they use to combat disease?"
"We don't get sick," Adrian explained. "My species adapts and evolves."
"Evolution! Yes, yes, great men of science spoke of such things." Plague Doctor pulled out a notebook and scribbled frantically. "Does the cure not lie in direct treatment, but rather in transformation? We must explore this avenue thoroughly!"
They entered a massive laboratory filled with equipment that couldn't possibly exist in a furniture store. Advanced microscopes lined the walls, and strange machines beeped and whirred. Operating tables filled the center of the room, each spotlessly clean.
"Welcome to my humble workspace!" Plague Doctor spread his arms wide. "Here we shall unlock the secrets of your dimensional specimens. My assistants will handle the preliminary tests while we discuss theory."
Adrian watched the doctor place the steak into a containment chamber. "What exactly is this Pestilence you keep talking about?"
"Ah, the Great Dying! The Scourge that infects all living things!" Plague Doctor tapped his mask excitedly. "It manifests differently in each host, but the symptoms are unmistakable to one who knows what to look for."
"And what symptoms are those?"
"Why, the very essence of mortality itself!" Plague Doctor pulled out more equipment from his endless bag. "Life and death, sickness and health - these are amateur terms. The Pestilence transcends such simple concepts."
Adrian frowned. This doctor wasn't making any sense. But he seemed content to study the steak instead of trying to dissect Adrian, so that was an improvement.
"Partner," Derflinger whispered. "This guy is completely insane."
"I noticed," Adrian muttered back. "But as long as he's focused on the meat instead of me..."
"Indeed!" Plague Doctor exclaimed, making them both jump. "The molecular structure is fascinating! Not a trace of the Pestilence anywhere!"
Adrian watched the doctor work for a few minutes before speaking. "Earlier you called yourself SCP-049. What does that mean?"
"Ah, merely a designation given by the Foundation." Plague Doctor adjusted several dials on his equipment. "They insisted on categorizing everything with numbers."
"And this Foundation... they study unusual things?"
"Yes! Great men of science, working to contain and understand the unexplainable." Plague Doctor pulled out more tools. "Dr. Clef was particularly interested in my research. A brilliant mind, if somewhat... unpredictable."
Adrian remembered the dead Staff members being carried to the research wing. "And these 'cured' patients... what happened to them?"
"Unfortunately, none survived the treatment process." Plague Doctor sighed. "The cure works! The Pestilence is removed! But the subjects... expire shortly after. A minor setback that will be resolved with further experimentation."
"So they threw you in here?"
"Dr. Clef personally escorted me to this facility." Plague Doctor resumed his work. "He said I would find plenty of test subjects among the Staff. And he was right! Such advanced cases of the Pestilence, perfect for refining my methods."
Adrian glanced at the laboratory door. He could hear Emma talking with some of the medical assistants outside.
"Tell me more about this Foundation," Adrian said while watching the doctor work. "What does SCP stand for?"
"Secure, Contain, Protect!" Plague Doctor adjusted a microscope. "A noble mission, studying the unexplainable to protect humanity. Even if they don't understand the true threat of the Pestilence."
"And there are others like you? Other SCPs?"
"Oh yes! Many wonderful specimens." Plague Doctor pulled out more equipment. "A statue that moves when unobserved. A reptile that cannot die. Even a machine that produces infinite pizza! The Foundation keeps careful records of each anomaly."
Adrian leaned against a table. "How many?"
"Thousands! Each given a number for cataloging. I am 049, but the list grows ever longer." The doctor peered through his microscope. "Dr. Bright once mentioned they had passed 6000 entries."
"What happens to these anomalies?"
"The Foundation contains them in special facilities. Studies them. Tries to understand how they work." Plague Doctor looked up. "Some, like myself, assist with research. Others are too dangerous to allow any freedom."
Adrian remembered the cultists, the empty shells, the hedonistic communities. "And this place? This endless store? Is it one of these SCPs?"
"This facility?" Plague Doctor waved dismissively. "Merely a research space provided by Dr. Clef. The Staff make excellent test subjects, and my assistants are eager to learn."
So the doctor was… naive. Interesting. This Dr. Clef clearly took advantage of the Infinite IKEA to get rid of 'SCP-049'.
"And what exactly does the Foundation do with all this research?"
"Protect humanity from threats they don't understand! Although..." Plague Doctor sighed. "They refuse to acknowledge the Pestilence. Focus on lesser concerns while the Great Dying spreads."
Adrian watched the doctor mutter to himself while adjusting equipment. This 'SCP Foundation' sounded dangerous. If they could contain beings like Plague Doctor, what else were they capable of?
"What's the most dangerous anomaly you've encountered?" Adrian asked, watching the doctor examine another slice of steak.
Plague Doctor looked up from his work. "Dangerous? Many pose significant threats. The shy guy that kills whoever sees his face, even if it was through a picture. A jug of milk that kills anyone who tries to open it. But the most concerning..." He lowered his voice. "SCP-343."
"What makes that one so dangerous?"
"He claims to be God." Plague Doctor adjusted his mask. "The Foundation treats him with great respect. Allows him to roam freely. But I saw no trace of the Pestilence in him - just like you! Most peculiar."
Adrian frowned. "God? As in..."
"The Abrahamic deity, yes. He creates matter from nothing, walks through walls, knows things he shouldn't." Plague Doctor pulled out more tools. "The Foundation can't contain him. He simply exists wherever he wishes."
"And you believe he's really God?"
"I am a man of science! Such claims require proof." Plague Doctor gestured at his equipment. "But his powers are... considerable. Dr. Clef once told me 343 turned his coffee into a live penguin during a meeting."
Adrian blinked at that.
A being powerful enough that even this mysterious Foundation couldn't control it. And according to the doctor, this god-like entity shared Adrian's immunity to the "Pestilence."
"Did you ever try to... cure him?" Adrian asked carefully.
"Heavens no!" Plague Doctor shook his head vigorously. "Even I know better than to attempt treatment on one such as him. The Foundation would never allow it anyway."
A loud crash echoed from outside the laboratory. Plague Doctor straightened up.
"Ah! More specimens for study. Shall we examine them together? I would love to compare our methods!"
Adrian glanced toward the door. "Actually, I should check on my companion. Make sure she's safe."
"Of course, of course! We can continue our research later." Plague Doctor focused on his equipment again. "This tissue sample will keep me occupied for many days!"
Adrian backed away slowly, keeping his eyes on the doctor until he reached the door. Only when he was outside did he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
"Partner," Derflinger whispered. "We need to be very careful around that one."
"Agreed." Adrian headed toward where he'd left Emma. "A being that kills with a touch, claiming to cure some disease only he can see... and now talk of actual gods?"
"This Foundation place sounds scary too. If they can contain creatures like him..."
Adrian nodded. "We should gather information while we can. But the moment that doctor shows too much interest in dissecting me again..."
"We run?"
"We run."