Jiraiya stared at the cunning Kazuyama Gekkō standing in front of him, a sinking feeling washing over him like he'd just been outmaneuvered.
The unspoken lesson echoed in his mind: If I'm shameless enough, no one can mess with me.
"Lord Jiraiya, just one jutsu. If you teach me, I won't tell Old Man Third about you," Kazuyama said with a sly grin.
Jiraiya's mouth twitched in irritation, but after a long sigh of defeat, he reluctantly agreed.
They arrived at the hill behind the Hokage Rock, where Jiraiya regarded the young man with a wary, serious expression.
"All right, what jutsu do you want to learn?"
Kazuyama tilted his head, thinking for a moment. "Hmm... How about Senjutsu?"
Jiraiya's serious expression instantly crumbled. His body staggered as though the words themselves had punched him in the gut.
"No way! Senjutsu is far too advanced; I can't teach you that."
"Pick something else," he said, his tone sharper than before.
Kazuyama shot him a disgusted look. "Seriously? What kind of legendary Sannin can't even teach Senjutsu? What a joke."
"Hey! What's with that look?!" Jiraiya barked, his patience wearing thin. "I'll teach you any other ninjutsu, but Senjutsu is off the table!"
Internally, Jiraiya groaned. Why are kids today so demanding? Minato wasn't like this at all!
Kazuyama shrugged, ignoring Jiraiya's frustration. "Fine. How about Sealing Techniques? But I've got a condition—you can't just teach me one."
Jiraiya blinked. "...How many do you want to learn?"
"Let's see..." Kazuyama began counting on his fingers. "Fire Sealing Method, the Five Elements Seal... Actually, I'll just take whatever Sealing Techniques you've got. Even though they're nowhere near the level of the Uzumaki Clan's techniques, they're better than nothing."
Jiraiya felt his blood pressure spike. "You little brat, are you trying to squeeze me dry?!"
"You said one jutsu, right? Sealing Techniques are just one type of jutsu. They're all part of Fūinjutsu, aren't they?"
Jiraiya clutched his chest, convinced he might keel over at any moment. He glared at Kazuyama, then, without a word, pulled a scroll from his robe and thrust it into the young man's hands.
"This is it! I'm done! If I spend one more second with you, I won't die in battle—I'll die of stress!"
With a poof of white smoke, Jiraiya vanished.
Kazuyama stood there, triumphant. He looked down at the scroll, its cover emblazoned with the character for "seal," and grinned slyly.
"Hehehe... Another freebie," he muttered, humming a cheerful tune as he strolled back home.
The Gekkō Clan's residence was located just north of Konohagakure. It wasn't large or grand—just a modest, detached house. At this point in time, the Gekkō Clan consisted of only two members: Kazuyama Gekkō and his younger brother, Hayate Gekkō.
Hayate, still an unruly baby, was the light of Kazuyama's life. He poured all his love and care into the little boy, determined to raise him well despite the challenges.
When Kazuyama opened the door to their home, he was greeted by a familiar sight: a woman smoking a cigarette while entertaining two-year-old Hayate. She turned to him with a teasing grin, her sharp tongue already at the ready.
"Oh, look who's back. Little brat Kazuyama!" she said with a smirk. "What ridiculous things did you get up to today?"
Kazuyama's face darkened, irritation flickering across his features. He shot back in annoyance, "I ran to your house and stole your thong. Does that count?"
Instead of being embarrassed, the woman burst into hearty laughter, completely unfazed. Then, as if to outdo his remark, she added, "You stole it? That's weird. I thought I put it on Ebisu's head."
Kazuyama stumbled, nearly falling to the ground, his expression a mix of exasperation and disbelief. He fixed the woman with a glare full of helpless resentment.
This was Ebisami, a Konoha Chūnin and Ebisu's mother—a woman with sharp wit and absolutely no shame. She also served as Hayate's nanny, someone Kazuyama had specifically hired to help raise his little brother. Looking back, he deeply regretted that decision. If he could do it all over again, he'd make sure their paths never crossed.
She was, in every sense, a hooligan.
With a resigned sigh, Kazuyama muttered, "Big sister, I was wrong. I didn't take your thong. I just went out to see if I could find any missions. I'm short on money for milk lately."
Ebisami, far from feeling guilty, laughed even harder. To her, teasing Kazuyama was endlessly entertaining. And truthfully, it was. His reactions made it all the more fun.
Ebisami was a single mother. Her husband had died in the Land of Rain during the Second Shinobi World War, leaving her to raise their son, Ebisu, on her own. Her family had been close with Kazuyama's parents, so when Kazuyama found himself in need of help with Hayate, he'd turned to her.
But as the saying went, you don't know what you've got until it's too late.
Ebisami was a force of nature, embodying a playful and chaotic energy that Kazuyama, for all his cunning, couldn't match. Despite having lived two lives and prided himself on being a scoundrel, he found himself utterly outclassed by this woman's brazenness.
Later, when Kazuyama learned that her son, Ebisu, would grow up to become a key figure in Konohagakure's… peculiar mentorship methods, he was so stunned that his mouth could have swallowed an entire durian whole.
"I'm going on a mission to Takigakure tomorrow," Kazuyama Gekkō announced casually.
The words "on a mission" caused Ebisami to freeze for a moment, her usual sharp demeanor softening. She didn't even notice the ash from her cigarette teetering precariously.
"Hey, hey, hey! The ashes—don't let them fall on Hayate's head!" Kazuyama scolded, snapping her out of her daze.
Ebisami blinked, then quickly extinguished her cigarette. "Tch. Don't talk like you're heading to your deathbed. Be careful out there, though."
Kazuyama smirked, waving off her concern. "Don't worry, I'm slippery. Self-preservation is my top priority. If all goes well, I'll be back in a few days."
"Oh, right, take this," he said, placing a kunai on the table in front of her.
The kunai seemed ordinary at first glance, but Ebisami's sharp eyes caught the incantation engraved on the handle: お父さんが来た (Your father is here!). The playful inscription was dripping with mischief.
Ebisami picked it up, her brows twitching as she read the words. "What the hell is this? 'Your father is here'? What kind of degenerate leaves something like this behind?"
"Hmph! Don't give me that look," Kazuyama said smugly, crossing his arms. "This is no ordinary kunai. It's the anchor for a jutsu—have you heard of the Flying Thunder God Technique? It's a space-time ninjutsu invented by the Second Hokage!"
Ebisami narrowed her eyes. "And what does that have to do with you?"
"I've been studying it for ages, and I've finally got the basics down!" Kazuyama declared proudly. "Just you wait."
Without further explanation, he dashed out the door, leaving Ebisami staring at the kunai in confusion.
A few moments passed before she muttered under her breath, "This kid's head isn't screwed on right… Maybe I should take him to see a doctor…"
"What did you just say?! You're the one who's sick in the head!!!"
A sudden ripple of chakra flared beside her, and Kazuyama appeared out of thin air, a triumphant grin plastered across his face.
Ebisami froze, her mouth slightly open. "...Huh?"
Kazuyama was beaming with pride. "See? With that incantation, I can use the Flying Thunder God Technique to teleport back here anytime!" He puffed out his chest. "Of course, it only works over shorter distances, and it guzzles chakra like crazy. But still—practical, right?"
Among the many techniques he had mastered, the ones he felt most confident using were the Flying Thunder God Technique and Transparent Escape. One for teleportation, the other for invisibility—perfect! The ultimate toolkit for a shameless emperor!