Zelene
"We should talk about this," I said to my son.
He was moving too fast with it. He just didn't know the full story and I had to brief him.
"Come on, sit down."
On the bed, I held his hands in mine. There was no need for me to tell him to look me in the eyes because he already was.
Expecting me to say something. I wasn't going to let him meet his father, that I needed to make clear. Cain was not the kind of man who would take his some serious. He never took me serious when a passenger was inside of me. So I didn't think how he would when it was outside.
"Tell me, how did he find you?" I asked.
"When I came out of school, Dalia was waiting for me beside your car. I was expecting you but she told me you got held up. Then he came from across the road and looked me in the face. He called me his son. He knew who Dalia was. Is that true?"
"Yes, that is true. And I have told you the truth about him. Cain never loved us as I thought he would."
"But he's come back. Doesn't that change anything?"
"No, Mikey. Not yet. Cain just wants you for his own purposes. He really doesn't care about me."
"Like the same way you don't care about him?"
That actually hurt. But I knew that someday like it would come. When I'd be grasping at trying to make Mikey see reasons why his father might not mean the best for him.
"He's been around all this while, Mikey. And he suddenly wants to meet you when you're twelve? He just wants to take you away from me, as punishment for keeping you."
"That's harsh."
"Yeah. That's your father. He is a harsh man. Do you think I want you to grow up to be someone like him?"
Mikey looked away. He didn't know what to say. It was all sudden for him. A kid at twelve. How could he even begin to understand?
I held his face in both palms and brought it back at mine. "I know you've always wanted a father, sweetheart. But Cain is just the man who got me pregnant with you. He cannot be your father."
"So who can?" he asked.
I hugged my son. I needed to feel his heartbeat. He was fragile. And someone like Cain would never stop until he changed the boy's mind.
I would have to file that restriction order against him if I wanted to keep Cain from Mikey. Mother's love was the strongest but Cain was capable of anything.
"I can be your father, too. Can't I?" I asked.
"You're my mom. You can't be my mom and dad."
"I can be, honey. I just need you to understand the situation right now. If Cain tries to approach you wherever you are, school or someplace else, you call the police, okay?"
He nodded.
Yeah, I would nod too. How could I call the police on my own father?
I didn't pester him anymore I let him do his homework, if there was any.
I went back downstairs and Dalia was almost done with the cooking.
"You don't have to join me, Zel. I'm almost done here."
"I can see that," I said to her. I just wanted to watch her cook, inhale the aroma of the steaming meal. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me anything about Mikey but she did anyway.
"So how did it go with him?" she asked.
"So so."
"That ain't a straight answer, Zel," she complained.
"Why do you have to complain every time?" I asked.
"This is important to me as well as it is important to you."
"You mean Cain? Please, if he is the one you are talking about, then you are wrong. Cain isn't important to me."
"I wasn't talking about Cain to be precise. I was talking about the fact that Mikey had reached the point where he might have to choose between you or Cain. And you think that isn't important?"
"Oh," I said
"Oh," she repeated.
"Well, I am going to file that restraining order."
"And if that is really what you plan on doing, then I am going to make sure you do it."
"Thank you, Dalia," I hugged her and she rubbed my back.
"You really need a man to do this to you. I can't always be your pillar, you know."
"I smiled at her. Are you always trying to match me with someone?" I asked. She was always trying to do that. I wondered if she'd keep doing it even when I find someone.
"You need someone, Zel. I'm serious. Has Damian called you yet?"
"He did. But I ended the call when you two, sorry, three walked in."
"Now that you have his number, there's nothing stopping you from calling him as well."
"I don't want Damian to think I'm falling head over heels for him, Dalia."
"I can tell he likes you so you don't have to play hard to get. Let's eat, shall we? All the shouting has me famished already."
We had lunch together. Tried to bring up the atmosphere we used to have but it was eeriely different. I couldn't feel that craziness we shared anymore. And it was all because of Cain.
By the time we were done with lunch, Dalia was the only one who had finished her plate. Mine and Mikey's was still unfinished.
We had lost our appetites.
I went to my room and sat down on the bed. Then I laid sideways with my knees drawn up to my chest.
It was all to sudden for me. I should have seen it coming when Cain began calling my line to talk about wanting to meet Mikey. How could I have taken all that for granted?
I wasn't expecting him to get my contact because I changed it, but he did. Then he went ahead to find Mikey.
I had to do something about it.
My phone rang. The number was familiar.
I picked up. "Hello?"
"Let me guess, you haven't saved my contact?"
"Sorry. Not yet."
"That's fine. I have a question for you. This location feels familiar. Do you leave on Sesame Street?"
"Yes, I do. Why?"
"I think we are neighbors."