**ASHLEIGH.**
The King of Ashes was dumbfounded. We stared at each other. I didn't lose in that contest. I tried so much to give in but that question have hit him hard. I knew it from the way his composure lost it. Chloe, The Queen, lost her grasp from me.
The King smirked, chuckling, and told me, "We have too much in our hands to accompany, but our Goddesses should be in constant care of the Kingdom, and so, we have put you here to regain your strength, and... that's what we get for doing the right thing for you?"
I found myself torn between loyalty to the divine heritage and fiery rebellion within my soul. I was expected to uphold the natural laws of conflict, and also maintaining balance through the strict control and strategy. Beneath that polished armor that I have worn in the final trial, the Goddess of War was not her. I was a simple soul tasked to complete a mission in another woman's body, and that I don't have to uplift the life that I was living right now. Does it mean... I was a rebel for answering back and refusing to take their orders?
"Abraxas. Don't be so stern to the Goddess. She is in a recovery phase, and that we don't know what's happening to her mind before she attended the final trial. We have to be patient."
I don't know if she was trying to make the scene light. Abraxas, the King, looked at his wife, and huffed a breath. I began to resent the rigid framework my mother has imposed. I failed to favor them in the order of chaos, and the control of freedom.
I can see how much a Goddess can suffer in the mortals catching the eternal cycle of war. I was dictated to live my life in the whims of the gods who never experienced the pain. My rebel side was born of a deep longing, and in order for it to break free from the chains of the divine expectation, I can see how much a rebellion can born a mindless destruction. But sometimes, as the Goddess of War, I have the desire to reshape the nature itself.
Someone entered the room. The King and Queen of Ashes bowed down to my mother, who was frustrated upon coming inside the chamber. The tension is palpable as she went to my side. The King and Queen of Ashes must have known what they should do and exited the scene.
Her mother stood as an immovable pillar of tradition, and it was the embodiment of the divine law. The unspoken weight of the ears, and the clash of ideologies can threaten the split between them. Atelier also came in to know what she was doing, and she must have felt bad about something. It was showing in her face.
"I'm tired of being your instrument. The King and Queen of Ashes have to give me this room in order to regain strength. Aren't you ashamed of me?" I declared. Her mother was not surprised by her outburst, and just stared at me.
"I have seen the chaos, and I have come to understand it. I'm going to be the goat that the Devil Godkin will eat and defy. You said I must control my power and bent it to our will, but should I allow myself to burn the wildness that I have denied for a while?"
I don't know where it was coming, but that was so deep, that it already pierced in my throat. My mother didn't blink an eye, and just looked at me sternly. After a while, she crossed her arms over her chest, as if doing everything she could not to slap me right then and there.
In gritted teeth, she narrowed her eyes, saying, "Chaos is not freedom, daughter. It is destruction. You are born to bring balance to this world--"
"I will bring balance... by allowing the world to change, not to become stagnant of power. It feels like I have been living in a prison by following your orders---"
That's when the slap came through. It was loud enough that my face swing in another direction. The sting in my cheek was enough to say how much I've been a stubborn and naughty child. Atelier was also taken aback, and she gasped. She couldn't move, so I just made sure I chuckle, and looked at my mother.
Her feisty glare was enough to say she was truly mad.
She adjusted the scarf in her arms and breathed deeply.
"I am not assigned to be the Goddess of Order for you to disobey my commands. The King and Queen pitied your condition right now and they commanded not to continue the trial to preserve your strength, and this is what you give back?! What do you think of them?! Of me?!" she roared.
She was restless, and just paced back and forth, leaving herself clueless of what to do with my mind. I can't even touch my cheek because my hands were starting to feel imprisoned in those cloth. She released some of the frustration in the air before coming back to me, and pointed at my face.
"You're going back to the training room tomorrow. I have to give you the commands no matter how much you refuse, or I'll strip you off from your position if you disobey that single command."
I don't feel scared. How can she do that when I'm already in the position for so long? I leaned at the head of the bed and just ignored her yapping. The Goddess of Order went out of the room and left me with Atelier. I felt the tears showing up in my lids, brimming it with sadness that I haven't experienced for so long.
What do I need to do in order to get out of this place? And why I feel so familiar with the faces of the people? Is there somehow a connection between Ashleigh and the people around here?
"Are you alright, my Goddess? Your cheek..." She sat down beside me and felt apologetic. I touched it with my bare fingertips and winced. My mother was harsh, already giving me the orders before I could even recover.
"I'm alright, you can leave me. Give me some fresh air to breathe. I have so many thoughts racing in my mind."
Atelier hesitated to leave me, but I gave her a look, which made her stand up from the bed and leave the room. As soon as it closed in her footsteps, I held my hand and massaged the points in my head. I might as well sleep to recharge my mind and soul.
...
"Wake up, Devi. Wake up..." Someone is shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly and sighed, wondering who was that woman trying to disturb the sleep that I found difficult to even retrieve. I glared at Atelier, and she bit her lips.
"The King of Ashes wanted to come inside the room and talk to you. He is asking to wake you up."
Standing up from the soft mattress, I looked at her, snapping, "Didn't I tell you I wanted peace for now?"
Atelier clasped both of her hands together and apologized, and declaring, "I have to apologize for giving you nuisance in your rest. The King of Ashes is ordering me, and I have to relay it to you. I think it would just be a quick conversation."
I rolled my eyes. Isn't the King of Ashes tried to kiss me the time he carried me back to the secret room in his Kingdom? I smirked. What a nasty cheater. He must be trying to have a time behind his wife's back. I don't know what kind of relationship we're reliving, but it sometimes fueled my curiosity as to what is my true connection to the king.
"He's waiting outside the hallway. I'll also be there to wait for you, six steps behind," Atelier clarified. I pursed my lips and crossed my arms over my chest. I sighed, nodding, agreeing to see him in a few moments. I brushed off my legs from the comforter and swing it by the side.
No slippers on, so I just walked at the cold tiles of the ethereal room and went out. Immediately, I saw his worried eyes. His authoritative demeanor was gone, and he looked like a normal civilian with his stare, who had his mind racing with what happened to me.
I don't like how he stares at me. I closed the door and just looked at his feet. As promised, Atelier went behind and just faced the other direction. There was no other than the two of us. He's looking at me adamantly, as if he's contemplating of what to do with me.
I took this opportunity to say what has been racing in my mind.
"I'm providing you another private training."
"I want to quit being the Goddess of War."
Simultaneous, our thoughts released in a perfect timing.
"What? You want to quit as the Goddess?"