While there is a hard-hitting question I want to ask the Deity of Death, I feel like saying it right away would make things awkward. So I'm gonna start slow.
"Can you confirm something for me?"
"depends"
"We're using acronyms because of you-know-who, right?"
"mhm"
Figures. Even though no other players can see us, the devs can always pull up our chat logs. And if they figure out that their new God and the Deity of Death were playing their game, they couldn't keep that to themselves.
Of course there's no guarantee they'd even believe it, maybe they'd think it's some sort of weird roleplay. But better to be safe than sorry.
"So why don't we talk in a chat room? Or face to face?"
"chat room is the same situation but face to face could work"
Yeah, it's easier to be more open that way. No need to talk around things. Plus it lets Kandance join in on the conversation. So I start it up and we continue on from there.
"So-"
And before I can say anything else, Kandance just interrupts me.
"Can you two just call off this stupid bet already?!"
Damn, ripping the band-aid off immediately.
"And why should I? The New God already agreed to it, no?"
"Because I'm not stupid and know that you don't actually want the role."
Wait, I'm not the only one that noticed? I thought I was really smart here!
"You clearly prefer your current situation with how much absolutes by math you use. There's an entire community on the ManaNet and in this Magys Regal game to keep you company. Just admit the truth, okay?!"
Jeez, just letting it all out, huh? No mercy. I need to get a word in.
"Kandance, I don't think that matters. I accepted the bet because I wanted to help you sooner rather than later, alright? Even though I didn't tell you that earlier, I'm saying it now."
"And you think I'll just LET you put MY old powers on the line?! Have you not considered my opinion on this? Or thought about any potential loopholes to the situation?"
"H-huh?"
Shit, she's catching me off guard. And Deutralohs is just blankly staring, I feel so bad for how awkward he must feel…
"You brought me down outside of a Mortal Form. I could exit and possibly use some powers to fix things."
"But you need my permission to access the powers. Permission I can't give in this Mortal Form, right?"
"Don't know where you got that idea. Have you considered that you're not completely cut off from your powers because of the God Panel? The thing I'm in right now, that you are talking to the Deity of Death with, that you're able to make applications on?"
… Ah.
"You realize it too now. You could give me permission to undo the cooldown and seal on your Mortal Form."
Deutralohs finally speaks up now, by the way.
"To be fair, there had never been a situation like this before. And you've had plenty of time to consider this loophole inside of the God Panel."
"Well yeah, but-"
"Plus, The New God had been spending his time selflessly grinding away to win a bet for your sake because he saw you in distress. When would he have had the time to figure the loophole out for himself?"
At least someone is on my side. But…
"W-well… if he cares that much, then he'll give me the permissions to undo the Mortal Form. It'll show that he understands my feelings about him not wanting to do this and will let him help me without risking anything!"
Just… just stop arguing…
"Who are you to decide what The New God does? You may be my creator, but you are not his. He should be free to make his choice. The fact that his choice was made in consideration of you should not be looked down on…"
I'm not worth arguing this much over…
"A choice he made without my consent! A choice that YOU gave him because you didn't feel like playing nice, where he'd risk my old role! And a choice that you can call off at any time so that he and I don't have to suffer anymore!"
Please…
"Please… don't do this…"
"And here I thought my creator would be the one on the side of empathy. I'm the logic guy, and even I can tell that this is a scenario where emotion is the primary driving factor!"
"BOTH OF YOU, JUST STOP!"
Why did I do this? Why am I such an idiot? It's all because of my choice that people I'm trying to befriend are fighting.
All I wanted was to help. To give both sides what they wanted. Kandance, her memories. And Deutralohs, his challenge.
I haven't slept for almost three days straight, busting my balls and depriving myself of a potentially fun experience, for someone who thinks I'm stupid for doing so.
And the worst part? She's right. If I just looked into ways of circumventing this, or even asked for her thoughts and help, none of this would be happening.
Why am I so stupid? Why can't I do anything right? I don't even know who to agree with in this argument!
Deutralohs was willing to go along with my stupid decision, knowing that he could just call it off or not go through with it. But he probably wanted me to win, to make Kandance feel like I've done a big favor for her.
Kandance is right, though. I never asked what she wanted to do, I made the choice for her. And now she's giving me an opportunity to make things right at no cost to any of us.
What's the right choice? It's Kandance's, yeah? But that doesn't fix just how much I've fucked up.
I made her worried, it's my fault this is all happening. In fact, if I never pointed out her contradiction and let her realize on her own, she could have looked into it herself and would never have even needed my help!
It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault! This argument is because of me! Deutrahlos being scolded is because of me! Kandance having her consent ignored is because of me! Her whole existential crisis is because of me!
What do I even say to them now?! How could either of them forgive me?! I'm not worth forgiving, I'm a horrible God!
But really, deep down… I just want some comfort right now. I want to be affirmed, I want to know that I'm not an idiot. Not from my view, but from someone else's.
Deutralohs is trying, I think? But I don't want to be comforted by an argument, by putting someone else down. Because Kandance's feelings are valid. Her idea is valid. Stop hurting someone else because of me…!
It's because of me. All because of me. Why me? Why now? Why did I put myself in this situation?!
My… my body feels light. Everything is spinning. Shit, am I dying again? Did I fail? Oh, what am I thinking? I failed the moment I got these powers. It's all a mistake. I'm a mistake. I'm… I…
THUD!