Lurena
BAM, BAM, BAM!
"Coming!" Geez, give a girl a break. "Oh, um hello?" The one thing I did not expect, were to be two large men standing at my front door. One was dressed from head to toe in the BPD uniform, he was shorter and heavier set than his partner. A full set of thick muscles seemed to stretch his uniform at the seams, as they worked their hardest to keep the two blue pieces of fabrics together. His thick curly brown hair with his natural golden tanned skin said he was of Latin descent. While the other man was tall with dark silky straight hair in a military-style haircut. He was clean-shaven and athletic, but more of a long-distance runner. He wore a tailored suit that fit him like a glove. He screamed of money with his high-end tailored-made shiny black leather shoes to match. Both were as opposite as the other. Mr. Suit Man was white, but you can tell that he liked to tan, a lot. I am sure he used his looks once or twice to get answers. Yet, that was not what had my nerves on edge. Their faces said they did not want to be here. That set off warning-bells and worry weighed heavily in my stomach like a boulder. Something told me that their looks would not do anything for what I am about to hear.
"Hello, we're from the Bridgeport Police Department. We're looking for Mrs. Rivera, is she in?" He took a breath, his nerves showed through his eyes as he tried his hardest to keep eye contact.
"I'm Mrs. Rivera… How can I help you?" I tried to put a smile on my face to keep from jumping to conclusions. But, for these two men to be at my door in the afternoon; was telling me that I was not so off. Why else would they ask for me by my name? Which told me they did not have the wrong house. Then it hit me, the only person not home yet was Juan… My husband was supposed to be home thirty minutes ago. Panicking at the possible bad news, I could not stop all the possible bad things they could tell me from popping into my head. In those few seconds of me seeing these officers had my mind spinning out of control. I had to stop this; I really did not know why they were here. They could be asking for donations, right? But then why ask for me by name?
They seemed at a loss for words, but the officer on the right spoke then. "Ma'am, I'm Officer Hernandez and this is Detective Black." He pointed to the man standing next him. "May we come in?"
"Is there something wrong officer?" His face turned white at my question
"If we could just go inside and have a seat ma'am, we can explain why we are here. May we please come in?" He asked again to enter my home. Something told me not to, that it would be best to keep them at the door.
"No, you cannot."
"Mrs..." I cut him off, I could not let them in the house if it was bad news. I did not want my children to hear it from strangers.
I could not take it anymore. "What's going on? Why are you here? Has something happened?" I asked with a shaky voice unable to hide the frailty of my nerves from showing anymore. My palms were beginning to sweat and became clammy as fear started to seep deep within my skin till it reached my soul.
"Mrs. Rivera please, I'd think it best if we talked inside, where you could be more comfortable." Officer Hernandez was trying his hardest to get me inside. I guess to keep me from making a public scene. What he didn't realize is that I was not going to let them in to tell me what I already know, To then have one of the children overhearing what they came to say to me today, was out of the question. And no one will ever keep me from safeguarding my children's well-being. They so were not coming in.
"No! Whatever you have to say, you can say it here!" I did not want the kids to hear anything they had to say.
Detective Black spoke. "Mrs. Rivera, please it would be…"
"I'm fine right here. Whatever it may be." I reach for the door jam, my legs unable to hold my body up on their own any longer. "Please?" I begged him. "Just come out with it already!" I pleaded with them.
I looked back to where my kids were sitting at the kitchen table, hoping that they could not hear us at the door. I turned back to my unwanted visitors. "My children are here; I don't want to frighten them if I can help it." Again, I begged them with the eyes of a mother's plea.
Both their faces fell with pity. They did not know about the children. I could see the worry on both their faces, not knowing what to say or do with my situation.
"Mrs. Rivera, as my partner said before we are from the Bridgeport Police Department. We are so sorry to inform you that your husband was in a car accident."
Fear had consumed me completely. "No!" I cried out in a whispered scream, holding back as much as I could, so the children could not hear me. But I could not hold back my tears from falling freely as my fears had become true once the officer had spoken these heart-breaking words to me. All I could do was think about how Juan was hurt, and it seemed to be bad. Or why else send two officers to tell me?... Why not have Juan call me instead? How bad was he hurt? Oh God… Was he paralyzed, in a coma? Hot tears spilled from my eyes faster this time. I tried to keep my cries as quiet as possible. I could not let the kids see me, so I wiped my eyes. "What happened, is he ok? Why didn't he just call me himself?"
They both swallowed hard and looked at each other. Neither one of them wanted to explain, that told me everything. "Ma'am, he… he…" Officer Hernandez started saying but seemed to have lost his voice. I realized that I did not even know their names; they could be fake cops trying to get me to go with them. I could end up getting kidnapped or killed. I instinctively took a step back. I looked them over again, my eyes falling onto their shiny metal badges; they looked like the real thing… Then I checked his nameplate, it said, "J. Hernandez." I look over to the Detective, but he did not have a name plate like Officer Hernandez. Understanding my intentions, the detective pulls out what looks to be his wallet and flips it over. I could see the 'Detective Miller Black of the Bridgeport Police Department stamped on the hard-plastic ID card.
"I'm sorry but who did you say you were?"
I looked towards officer Hernandez and he tried again. "Mrs. Rivera, I'm so sorry, but your husband was severely injured in the accident and he… He did not make it ma'am. We are…"
I could not hear a word after that, my world came crashing down on me. The air in my lungs was sucked right out by an invisible vacuum that seemed to be glued to my lips. I could not breathe, I could not think, could not even see right with the tears falling freely from my eyes. They broke open like the flood gates of a damn determined to drown the world from existing. Heat radiated through my muscles as ice cold chills ran like a fast running stream through my veins. No, it cannot be true, he cannot be dead… He cannot be. How did this happen? How can this be? Juan has always been a safe driver, following traffic laws to the "T". So how did he die in one? All these questions flooding my brain like my tears would surely flood me right out of my house.
Flashes of my life with Juan passed like a silent movie in front of my eyes. It was a roller coaster ride of all the emotional experiences I had throughout my life with my husband.
Like the first day we met, I thought he was extremely handsome. But most of all how he was as a person; kind and gentle, and how easily he could strike up a conversation. Our first date, I was so nervous because it was a longtime since I have dated anyone. The last guy was a mess. But we met through a mutual friend, so I gave him a chance. Our first kiss…
When he asked me to marry him, and I said yes without a second thought. I had thought that to be the happiest day of my life, and it really was. Yet the day of each of our babies' births had given us so much more happiness. It was a life-changing experience for the better. The love a parent has for their children is unimaginable. Yet we felt it, every ounce of love we had for them. Every special moment in our life together, it seemed too fleeting, too quick for him to be gone so soon. We still had memories to make with the kids; Teresa is going to start her second year of high school. She may start dating, and I needed him here for that. To scare away the boys that were no good for her. To help me console her when she has her first heartbreak while making threats, I knew he would never carry out. Because deep down, he is a good and decent man.
The twins will not have a father to coach them or take them to their games anymore. Giving them advice on talking to and dating girls. On how to use protection when they start to think about having sex, or how to treat them with respect. I mean, I know I could do it too… But in his family, it was up to the men to teach the boys men things, old family traditions. But now, it was up to me to show them how to be men. And poor little Suzana, she was never going to really remember her father… Will she miss out the most, of not really having the memories the older kids did with Juan? "But he was fine." I said out loud.
Pity still pasted on their faces; detective Black spoke then. "We're so sorry for your loss Mrs. Rivera, but we need you to come with us to identify your husband's body." He looked to his partner for help.
His partner took a breath. "Is there anyone you would like to contact? A family member or friend perhaps, to be here with you, ma'am?" He rubbed the back of his neck, hoping my answer would be yes.
"No… There's no one…" Juan, why?
***
Maikoh (Wolf)
"Hey, Wolf… So, are you ready to go home to see your little girl?" Falcon sat across from me, in the back of the Humvee army issued bulletproof truck. It was a hot night tonight, much hotter than normal. Yet, there were clear skies as far as your eyes could see. The stars were out shining brightly, showing off how their beauty. Beauty that would forever withstand the tests of time, even after being gone for over more than a millennium, their brilliance shines on. The black skies were the perfect canvases for the gods. Allowing us the privilege of seeing their work of art displayed throughout the world, at no cost. Every night there was a new artwork to behold, a new dream to see and be a part of… The stars were a way for them to tell us their stories of how they have come to be and to where they all will return one day.
Some nights at the beginning of my tour, I would get confused. Thinking I was back home on my parent's farm. I would lay on the grass with Sasha next to me, in a lover's embrace. All I had to do was block out everything around me, look straight up and I would feel like I was back at home. Till the bullets started flying all over again… Sweat beaded down everyone's brow, making us wish to be anywhere else but here.
Jay, or Falcon, as we called him in unit 304. Was five foot five and about half my size, but twice as deadly. Falcon was the sniper you wanted at your back; he was the best shooter out there with over a hundred successful kills. His sharp eyes and quick reaction time kept us safe to maneuver without being surprised by the enemy. He never missed his targets, and that was a good thing with how everything seems to blow up all around us with every step we took. But this was it for me, the last that I will never of war, fighting and killing. I can only count a hand full of times there was ever a night of peace and quiet out here, I missed home, and it was time to go back.
We are on our way to put a stop to the last terrorist cell in this region of the country, it would be a good end to my retirement.
"Yeah man I can't wait, I've missed most of her young life. Being away for this long, it wasn't fair to her. She was just two when I deployed, and she'll be six next month."
It pissed me off every time I think about how much I have missed out in raising Lilly. The only way of me being a father to her was through social media or video chat. That was no way of raising a daughter, and I should be there at her side, ready to give her what she needed. The night her mother had left, she broke me in a way that I would NOT wish that on my worst enemy. That night, Sasha thought it ok to abandon our daughter on my mother's front porch in the middle of the night. With nothing to protect her but her black bears hide, I had hunted the year before she was born, with a note saying.
'This isn't for me. SORRY.'
God, I wanted to hurt her for what she did to our daughter.
"Hey, man, don't do that, you can't change the past, so stop worrying about it. What is done is done, Lilly's safe with your Amá, so stop worrying. Besides, that little one loves you. She will be happy to have you home, kay Wolf?"
Falcon shook his head in pity, knowing how much of a struggle it has been for me. Reaching the target, we get out of the truck, Falcon stood behind to take the high ground while the rest of the team took the low ground. Being here instead of at home to take care of all my responsibilities sucked bad. The last time I held my daughter was at my father's funeral, but I could not stay. I had a job to do, I had made an oath to protect and serve my country, and at the time, Sasha was still home taking care of Lilly, thinking I had nothing to worry about. So, I hopped on a plane and went back to protecting my country. Then three short months later, I had received a phone call about how my wife left Lilly and me. I tried to get the leave I needed, but it was no use. I was happy when my mother offered to care for Lilly for me, I faced so many enemies and been in too many wars I care to count, yet when it came to caring for a baby, I was scared shitless. I did not know a thing about taking care of a baby. And even though I wanted too, I could not leave, I was a few years short of being able to retire. So, when Amá said she would take care of Lilly for me, I was relieved to know she had someone to keep her safe so I could finish my tour.
Now, four years later, I had a kick in the ass that woke me up. I was losing time with my daughter, something I said I would never do. My father was not a bad father; it is just that I wanted to live up to the man he was. He was there for you whenever you needed him, with advice to help you through your hard times. He would always give all of him to those he cared for and protected. He taught me how to be a good, hard-working man and to put pride in what I do. So, you see, it hurt me deeply when Sasha abandoned our daughter like that. She failed as a mother to our daughter and as a wife to me. She swore to love and protect our daughter, yet when she abandoned Lilly was her NOT keeping her promise.
"Wolf, stop putting that shit on yourself, you didn't do that to her, and you know it." Falcon would know what I was thinking, he was there for everything. Even when I cried like a girl for days, I grunted my frustration out because I could not take it out on my ex. I went back to checking my surroundings, keeping an eye out for the enemy. When Sasha left, she made sure to leave nothing behind, not even a scent. Which bothered me, I have never known someone being able to mask their scent from anyone, no matter what. But somehow, Sasha did it, and no one could find her, probably for the best. The things I wanted to do to her would have made Lilly hate me. I would never risk that ever being possible.
"Yeah, I hear you man, now stay off the coms." But easier said than done. It always consumed my mind when I thought about it. How she could be so heartless to her own flesh and blood. My mother was out of her mind when she found Lilly on her porch, crying her eyes out; my blood was boiling when she told me what was going on. But there was nothing I could do till I got back home.
"Wolf? WOLF! Watch your six!" Bang, Bang! "Got 'em!" Shit.
"Thanks, man I owe you a beer."
"More like two." Falcon laughs at me, and I get back to looking out for the enemy. Tonight, it was going to be me going home alive, and I cannot take a risk like that again. I had to make it home to my Lilly Pad, and it was time for me to take my place as Alfa of the pack and be a father to my daughter. Maybe I should not have taken this last op.
"WOLF! NOOOO!"
BOOM!...