I am Dead
That much wasn't a surprise since I knew death was an inevitablity that everyone encounters at least once.
The thing was...
I don't know how I died or how I knew it.
Well I did know how I died, but the way it happened was so nonsensical that I still can't understand it.
And let's just review the events of the day.
First I was fine and dandy, no problems there as I was returning from my night job at dawn.
Second, the next thing I knew I was pushed from behind as a rogue truck whizzed past, the ugly sound of cracking bones coming to my ears as I felt blood splatter from behind me
Third, when I tried to turn around to thank my savior, I found out two things, one, I lost my legs, second, my savior seemed to have joined my legs in bloody splatter of... Let's not describe it
Fourth, when someone shouted for help they were quite literally stabbed in the back before being robbed in front of a dark alleyway and in hindsight they weren't calling help for me but for themselves, not much good it did for them at that point.
Fifth, as I bled out on the stoney pavement, adrenaline dulling all of the pain that would otherwise cause me to scream out like a little girl help arrived in the form of figures who looked suspiciously like the people wanted for selling organs all around the country.
Sixth, as I was mulling about my unluckiness, the incarnation of a certain crisis involving twins occurred over my head, except instead of two towers there was only one.
Seventh, as me and my would be captors were staring at hell made manifest, it would turn out that it was followed soon after by planes that I knew were built for war.
How did I know that you may be asking? Well it really didn't leave much up to imagination when said planes were shooting bullets, tearing up the ground while simultaneously dropping bombs all over the place.
As a wise man once said, when it rains, it pours, except in this case God broke his promise and flooded the entire earth again with bombs.
Well that actually might be the fault of man, but I didn't know, I was dead at that time.
And in front of me was... death, in all of their glory.
A scythe hung on the white wall behind them as a pallid white hand wrote something on the scroll in front of them, the other, more skeletal hand leafing through several pages as they adjusted their glasses with a ghostly hand.
Hood covering their face with a dark black mist, I stared at their body as another more zombified hand peaked out of the suit and adjusted the tie.
Was it wrong to think that Death looked like a businessman?
"No it would not Slade Bridge, Death is just a business that keeps on booming on Earth" He picked up a booklet with a hand covered in scars appeared, a surprisingly smooth voice coming out of their throat.
'Or what substituted for it here, and Why am I not surprised that the incarnation of death can read my thoughts?'
"Because you are dead, and emotions are linked to the brain and body which you currently do not possess."
'So what am I now then?'
"A soul, that's what you are" Death crossed their hands in front of them, a hand made of shadows crossing the fingers of one made of blood. "And I'll be frank with you Mr. Bridge, you died much earlier than you were supposed to."
"Of course that's what revised death dates are for, to prevent situations like yours, but because you've just received a new death date that stated you were to die an hour later, a metaphorical glitch in the system has occurred and now I'm dealing with you."
Sounding as if they were complaining, Slade blinked once and realized that Death's hands had changed once again into ones made of light and crystal as he waved them.
"Of course, as part of my duty I have to deal with anomalies such as you, but although Life is my spouse, the duty of dealing with anomalies such as you fall underneath the domain of my child Reincarnation.
Blinking, Slade tilted his head in silence as he wondered what in the nine hells was happening.
"There are not nine Hells, just seven."
'...I would definitely be surprised at this point.'
"I see your emotions are dead then?"
'...'
Slade felt emotion well up in his soul as he stared at the literal embodiment of death making a dad joke, and it was at this moment that he thanked the God in front of him for removing his emotions by liberating him from his mortal bod.
"I can return your emotions if you want, I may not have direct governance over that domain but I can do that much at least, wouldn't want to ghost your decisions"
'Please no.'
"Well if its suits yourself."
Silence reigned once again as Slade fell into his own thoughts once again, Death returning to their numerous duties that honestly didn't look that difficult.
"Oh it's difficult alright, the body you see in front of you is the one responsible for all the deaths of intelligent mammals in this universe."
'...' Noting the words intelligent mammals and this universe deep within his soul Death spoke up.
"From a specters point of view, it of course doesn't look like much, but you forget that death doesn't only exist for the human race, plants, insects, fish and even microorganisms can die."
'When put like that...'
Raising his hands to rub his chin, Slade paused in what could pass for shock as the logical part of his soul struggled to understand what had happened to his body.
Staring at what substituted for his hands, geometric shapes collided against each other crazily, moving every moment as if they belonged to a different dimension
"It partially is true you know? Although most souls don't usually know it, their souls actually exist in the fourth dimension of time, existing in all states at the same time."
"What in the hell does that even mean."
"Hmm..." Death used a shadowy hand to rub their chin, pondering on whether or not they should answer the question.
In the end however, they decided to answer it.
"Well because this is partially a subordinate of mines fault and I'm in a good mood I'll explain it to you."
A hand made of the same geometrically colliding shapes appeared, but instead of the crazily shaking ones surrounding his hands, the one death had was more calm and collected albeit it was still strange to see.
"You can your soul as having four dimensions, the first three you know as height, width and depth with the fourth being time."
"To explain it better..." A pair of hands formed out of a jellyish substance and lava pulled out a book, gesturing at the several pages and leather binder holding it all together.
'The Life of Slade Bridge?'
"This is your soul." He gestured at the paper.
"And this is time." He gestured at the binder.
"Your soul exists in time as you can see it's within these bindings, but this is where things get a bit more complicated."
"Everything can be given a lifespan, souls being one of them, and if we view these pieces of paper as your soul and the book as time, then the size of the book represents your lifetime."
"Of course, just because it represents your life doesn't mean that you experience it all at the same time, for example."
Death stared directly upwards through the electronic veil of a screen.
"Just as you are reading this book, you don't read all of it at the same time."
"What do you mean?"
"To put it simply" Death turned his gaze away from the readers and flipped the book to a certain point, noticeably close to the end of it.
"Normally speaking, even if you stop reading a book at its final chapter, it doesn't change the fact that the final chapter had been written and exists in this book."
"However, due to a mistake of my subordinates, the main character of your life has died before the final chapter and now the final chapter is trying to merge with the previous chapter in a chaotic mess."
"For a better example, it's as if the end boss of a video game was trying to appear before it should."
"Currently you are safe within these bounds, but until we find a conclusion to this, the moment you step out you shall die experiencing every single moment of your life in one moment, all of the pain, all of the joy, all of the sadness, all of the anger, everything."
"Of course your situation isn't as simple as this, but it-"
*Ding
"-Ah it's done."
Calmly taking a piece of paper from a nearby printer, using a hand made up of broken glass, Death read it, adjusting their glasses with a hand made of swords.
"Hm..." Death audibly grumbled, a deeper voice leaking out of their throat as they pondered on the words written on the piece of paper in front of them.
"Is there anything wrong?" Tentatively speaking up, Slade felt as if the frown of Death suddenly became directed towards him, a tightness that couldn't be explained enveloping his entire well being.
"...I guess you could be feeling it with all your soul."
And... that feeling was gone, turned into the same dust that made up his hands.
Death sighed, rubbing his forehead with two nail covered fingers. "Well the problem here isn't directed towards you per se, but just a rather annoying brat."
?"Awww I didn't know you thought so well of me My Brother in law."?
Hearing a voice behind him, Slade tried to look behind him only to feel a pair of gloved hands cover his eyes.
"Ah ah ah... No peeking" Speaking in a patronizing tone, the echoing voice echoing from behind him sounded as if it was simultaneously a young boy and a young girl, the things behind him continued.
"Now that's just rude, I'm as much of a God as jokester over here."
"Oh please, if you weren't my wife's brother I would've killed you by now."
"Despite saying that, you love me don't you?"
"Quite the opposite actually, now take off your grubby little hands before I remove them for you."
"Hey!" Shouting in surprise, the pair of gloved hands disappeared from his face, replaced by an incredibly stressed looking Death rubbing his head with electricity filled hands.
"Do excuse my Brother in Law Mr. Slade, they're quite the God to deal with."
"Hey! I'm helping you you know?"
"With my Daughter no less."
Sending a glare towards the figure standing behind him, the echoey voice laughed in surprise.
"Hahaha! Oh how rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself!"
Slade felt his entire vision spin around as the... God? In front of him bowed exaggeratedly towards him.
A small boy no bigger than the children Slade's seen during his walks past the school zone.
Wearing a checkered beret over their cable and rope hair, the small boy like figure wore a stylish brown overcoat above a grey undershirt, large cargo pants puffing up near the ankles.
But if there was one thing that stood out to Slade the most...
"Nice to make your acquaintance Bridge, the name's fun, and I'm the younger brother of Life."
It would be those eyes, Multicolored shining and spinning eyes staring at Slade, he felt as if his very being was exposed underneath their gaze all the while a smile spread widely across their face.
Well that and the fact that their clothes changed into that of an Astronauts the second he blinked.
+++
Tree that is now rewriting
Here's to a new year!