Who said life gives you what you dreamt of? How many people get what they desire?
Being in college has its ups and downs as well. It was the last semester of my third year in college, and I was waiting for the last few exams before I could go home. I was not sure if I could come back the next year due to fees, but I was hopeful things would work out well.
I had been dating this cute guy for the last few months, and things were great for us, but what happened next was not as expected.
That day, I was lazily lying on my bed in my studio apartment when my boyfriend came in to work from my place.
Him being my neighbor was fun and also annoying. He could always walk into my house at any time he felt like. But I loved every bit of the interaction between us.
He sat on the sofa opposite the bed and continued working. I guess he was working on a thesis paper one of his friends hired him to do.
I had been feeling sick the whole week, and it was getting worse.
I was quite a distance from him, but I could smell his body scent.
It was amazing and could always make me feel like lying in his arms all the time. Sometimes I could just hold his hand and have it near my nostrils just to smell it. I didn't notice anything wrong with the heightened sense of smell at all. All the feelings and moods were foreign, but I took it as being sick.
"You smell so nice…" I lifted my head and turned on the bed to face him, my head hanging down the bed frame.
He looked up to face me and smiled. His handsome face did its wonders again. He was so damn good looking and charming. I guess that's why I fell for him. But like they said, looks could be very deceiving.
"How long have you been feeling sick? I think you should go downstairs and get a pregnancy kit from the pharmacy." I looked at him widely, like he had said something forbidden. The thought of pregnancy and all those symptoms never crossed my mind. We had always used protection. How could I be pregnant? The thought horrified me.
"No way. Don't even think about that. My life would be over if I am really pregnant." Just the thought of it made my body shiver. I was only 22. My life had just begun. I was still in college. Having a kid was not part of my plan at that moment. Besides, what would I tell my parents, especially my dad? He was a live wire.
Anyway, I still went downstairs at that time and bought the kit. I was skeptical whether to do it or not. My hand was shaking nervously, but I still went into the bathroom and did the test. I waited for five minutes before the first red line appeared. Then a small, faint red line started to appear and then stopped. It was so faint, but it made my heart beat so fast that I could hear it with the music playing on the screen in the room.
Oh my goodness... This can't be true. I looked at the line over and over with the same thought, and then my mind went blank.
I stood up from the toilet seat and opened the door, going out to meet the man responsible… How funny. He knew I could be pregnant, and the thought never crossed my mind.
I walked like a zombie and showed him the kit. My hand was slightly trembling, which earned a furrowed brow from him. He looked me over after seeing the line.
"Emma, this can't be true, right?" I nodded my head in support, hoping it was not true.
I pointed at the faint line, hoping it was just a small mistake with the kit. "The line is so faint, I don't think it's right." He dropped down on the sofa, staring at me blankly.
"You are pregnant. You are pregnant." He repeated slowly, but more to himself. The surging emotions taking over my mind and body were too much. I could not process it at all, and my mind refused to accept it.
Thinking no further, I took my phone from the table and walked outside my apartment, leaving my boyfriend looking confused.
I went back downstairs and asked my friend, the pharmacist, for another test kit, but this time, I asked her to tell me it was not true.
I went over to her after coming out of the bathroom in the pharmacy. "Look, it's so faint, I don't think it's positive, right?" There was that ray of hope that it was not true. She looked at me amused but also concerned.
"It's true, you are pregnant. No matter how faint it seems, it's true. Besides, it's always good to take the test in the morning when your HCG levels in the urine are concentrated. It's afternoon, and your HCG levels are low, and also, your pregnancy could be a few days old," she explained, then looked at my defeated self to comfort me.
"It's not a bad thing. Remember, it's a blessing from God." I looked at her as if she and the world were conspiring against me.
"How could it be a good thing at this time and point in my life? What am I going to tell my parents?" I could imagine the disappointed look on my mother's face and the angry look from my father. My face drained of blood just thinking about it.
"What am I going to do? It's over…" This time, my mind was blown. I went back to the apartment, and this time, Mark was seated, waiting for me.
"Where have you been? It's more than two hours since you left. I got worried about the state you were in?" I looked at him and imagined the future I would have with him and the kid.
I took a step closer to him. "What are we going to do about this? How am I supposed to tell my parents?" I asked, but his gaze changed for a moment.
It was Friday, and I was supposed to go home for the weekend, as always.
My thoughts were interrupted by his next words.
"We can't have this baby…" I looked at him, wide-eyed. For a moment, I forgot I also felt it was not the right time, but for him to say it like that was a blow to me.