The embrace of sleep is a fickle thing. Sometimes it will show you your deepest desires, other times it shows you your most eldritch fears, sometimes it shows you nothing, on some occasions it shows you a past you wish to run from. Let me tell a fact that no one bothered telling me when I was younger, no matter how fast or far you run you can't outrun yourself. No matter what great unexplainable force you plead with there is no escape from yourself. The vision stretching before me was a familiar one. I had seen it and lived it. I had lived it despite my deepest wish at the time being to die if only to avoid another day of hell on earth. I had lived it because I simply couldn't bring myself to waste any of the bullets in my gun on an uncertain action. Black bags surrounded by mockingly buzzing flies stretched out in all directions on the street I was on. Some bags were large, others were about the size of a medium dog, but they all had one thing in common not a single bag was empty. Some bags were just piled haphazardly most were set up in some parody of order. Almost all the buildings were shattered as if some gargantuan being dashed them with a club. Any building that was intact had blacked out windows to hide any who were hiding within. If someone were to look into the solitary defiant grocery store they would see that the shelves were empty of produce and the coolers were filled with more of those ominous black bags. I knew what was in them of course. Anyone with a functioning brain would know a body bag when they saw one. Children, the elderly, and those who were in the wrong place at the wrong time filled them. Like a starving beast those foul damnable bags devoured the dead with an unequaled sadistic glee. With the constant fighting there was no time to properly dispose of the dead other than stuffing them into bags and moving the bags and once the fighting passed moving them into cooled locations so their precious cargo wouldn't begin decomposing. Empty grocery stores and butcheries were the common place chosen to store the dead if there were no mortuaries with cold storage in the area simply because the coolers could be adjusted to freeze the bodies down enough to preserve them from decay. Despite the sheer chaos of the war one thing was agreed on by everyone, you don't mess with the dead bodies. To prevent the accidental destruction of buildings that were used to contain the dead a simple sign system was used. A red line was drawn over every door, the windows would be blacked out, and if it was possible yellow paint was spread over the roof to prevent aerial bombings. Even the most destructive people on both sides avoided damaging these buildings if for no other reason than the fear of the swift and painful retaliation that would be inflicted upon them by their own comrades. I eventually lost count of the number of bodies I helped both sides move to safety during the war. I can honestly say I didn't even bother calculating the number of people I returned to the earth's embrace after the war, there were just to many to fathom. I couldn't tell you the number of times I blamed those that refused to try to talk down the war, of course I hypocritically blamed those who didn't fight in order to bring the war to an end sooner. Perhaps it was the spite that I felt at myself for being nearly useless during the destruction of my nation. Sure I worked at patching up the injured at the front and sending them to our understaffed and overwhelmed M.A.S.H units but I wasn't useful for much beyond patching up skin abrasions and the occasional outbreak of athlete's foot. I suppose the one thing I will be known for is the ability to make anything taste good which got me moved to the kitchens. Eventually like every war before it and every war after it the trading of lead and the falling of bodies ended. I walked for several days to my family farm simply because I didn't trust anyone enough to know where I came from. Upon arrival I noticed several things that brought the prickling of unshed tears to my eyes. The barn was burned down to the cement foundation and the few animals that remained after I left were long dead and decayed. Killed but not eaten simply so they couldn't be used to feed troops, most likely poisoned so anyone dumb enough to attempt to eat one would be made sick and weak so they could be picked off. The house had a full first floor of smashed in windows and bullet marks on the bricks. It was obvious some scuffle took place here even though it was far in the country. The doors remained defiant, probably due to the frames and the doors themselves being made of metal and the surrounding walls being thick brickwork. Walking to the garage I saw that the mowers and bobcat had been siphoned of gas yet most of the other objects contained within were left alone. Going towards my goal I pulled out the drawer containing the screwdrivers until it came free. Setting it on the floor I reached my arm into the cavity before pulling out a wax chunk that had rodent chew marks on it. Picking apart the wax chunk revealed the spare key for the house, grabbing the thinnest screwdriver I could I removed the last bit of the wax from the key and walked towards the house. I turned the key to unlock the house before testing the door knob. A quick twist of my wrist caused the door to begin opening. Turning immediately I locked the door behind me, it was kind of automatic at this point to lock doors as soon as I passed them. You could never be certain if you were being trailed or not and I had seen to many people buy a bullet in the back for their carelessness. Stepping in I had to admit that it was odd seeing my house in such a state. There was glass on the floor along with long dried streaks of blood as if the windows themselves were crying red tears down the sill from whoever tried to let themselves in but failed at pulling themselves in due to how high up off the ground the windows were. A gust of cold wind set tattered curtains into a mad circuit of motion as I walked past them. Entering the dining room I saw that grandma's collection of teddy bears that she began accumulating after grandpa's passing has long since been turned into a mouse's home. Going into the basement revealed that most of the canned products have ruptured and their contents have moldered. I didn't have the energy or materials to begin cleaning up. Looking around I found some intact boards and plywood. Carrying up some plywood and two by fours I carried what I would need up to the first floor. Walking outside I ignored the slowly falling snow and grabbed the necessary tools from the garage. Slowly and steadily I nailed the plywood and two by fours up over the gaping holes where the windows used to be. I went upstairs to my old bedroom, grabbed some blankets to beat back the slowly encroaching cold, changed out the sheets with one of the few mouse free sets from the closet, and for the first time since the war started I gave myself the luxury of crying. I cried for the pointless loss of life brought about simply because those in power in my own government couldn't grow the fuck up and sit down and talk like the adults they pretended to be. I wailed for the fact that it was going to get even worse before it could even begin to get better. I sobbed at the realization that I was utterly alone, my nearest relatives had moved out of the states when the first shots of the war were fired, while I stayed out of a combination of a fear of change and the fear that I would disappoint my long deceased grandparents if I ran from my problems. I don't know how long I spent crying in the cold and silent house but it must have been a long time since the sun had sunk beyond the horizon. The next day I awoke to the cramping of a stomach that was rediscovering starvation. I was used to going two or three days without food but when day four hits you really notice it. I slowly went down to the first floor to look through the freezer to find something to eat. Seeing a fully frozen half pound bag of chicken wings that expired the year prior I pulled them out. With a quick prayer I switched on the water in the kitchen sink getting a steady stream of slowly warming water. Cutting open the bag I put it under the sink as I got one of the baking sheets out. Not finding any aluminum I chucked the now separated wings onto the sheet and liberally applied the salt, pepper, and garlic powder that I found in the cupboard. Pressing the buttons on the stove I set it to preheat to four twenty five. While I waited for the stove I began using my phone and the poor signal it had to look for potential work once the world settled down a bit more. There was of course people looking for farmers and other such labor intensive jobs but they didn't call to me like they used to. I was going to stay on the farm of course but I didn't want to work near any type of animal. I had seen and heard far to many die to be comfortable around them anymore. The closest job was a grocery store that was in an area where robberies were likely to occur. Looking farther I found a job at a small mortuary that was about a two hour walk away from my house. I decided to walk there after I ate something for a few reasons. The main reason I decided on that job was because I knew how busy they would be gathering the forgotten dead which means that it would be a steady job. The lesser reasons were the fact that I knew it was honest work and that I could direct them towards the places where bodies were stored that the others might have forgotten about. The beeping sound that signaled a prepared oven pulled me from my thoughts. Shoving the chicken into the oven I began looking through the house to observe what I didn't bother looking at yesterday. All the plants were dead except for the crown of thorns which had the family ashes in a hidden drawer beneath it. Sadly for me the T.V sitting on the table had a crack in the screen. Looking down I saw the culprit, a small rock on the floor in front of it. That took using the T.V for news and recreation off the table.
With a start I awoke. Sitting up I felt a heat from the pocket of my pants that I forgot to take off. Wearing clothes to bed was a rather bad habit I admit, but at least I remembered to take off my shoes. I pulled Shelby's stone from my pocket. It was warmer than a stone should be, hot enough to grab attention but not hot enough to burn me a fact that I was thankful for considering the damage it could have done while I slept. The dim glow it gave off was new. Putting the new oddity in the 'I will never understand why this is going on' section of my brain I set the rock down and noticed Samantha and Teresa were already out of bed. Doing the mental equivalent of a shoulder shrug I got out a piece of paper and a pencil from the drawer across from the bedroom. Writing things out always helped me even if it was a skeleton list. Usually it was current dates and events that I focused on but this time it would be potential future events that I would be focusing on. Whether I would try to fix them or take advantage of them only time knows.
Birth: November twenty sixth of Nineteen Ninety Four. My birth. I hear that everyone has one of these.
Loss of Power: Twenty twenty eight America becomes considered a lesser major power by the majority of the world after being forced to pay off all debts due to government miscommunication. Loss of most allies outside of Britain due to radical policy changes cemented this analysis. Violent riots began sweeping even further across the United States as depression, unemployment, and homelessness rose to an all time high.
Second Civil War/The war for MAPs rights: November of twenty thirty two to January of twenty thirty three. The war is fought between "Red", "White" and "Blue" states. The Red states fight to keep the U.S.A marriage laws as they were while the Blue states wish to allow anyone to get married regardless of age, gender, or religion. While the Red and Blue fight the White set up protective cities where those who just want to live their lives can avoid the conflicts. Many protective cities are destroyed costing countless lives and resources. Eventually the conflict results in Canada and South America closing their borders to prevent spill over causing Alaska to be the only state that didn't participate in the war. Mercenaries are hired by Red and Blue states while the White states continue to try to do their best to protect their nation by collecting books about history from libraries so that some history can be saved. Large farms are burned and destroyed in an attempt to demoralize and starve the enemy. The number or deaths from the war reached into the hundreds of thousands, the amount of innocent casualties from starvation, suicide, and illness reached into the tens of millions, an alarming amount of which were children and the elderly from "Red" states that were killed when hospitals, churches, schools, and other "safe spaces" were bombed. The war ends via the agreement known as "The Fissuring" which resulted in the people of the "Blue" states now known as the "Freed Americans" seceding and forming their own government in the Eastern half of the states while the White and Red states retain the name the United States of America. Both sides do their best to rebuild in their own ways. Fifteen years later the Freed Americans slowly began contracting an unknown illness that kills all of the adults off and leaves those who hadn't gone through puberty alive. It is unknown whether the illness was made by their rival's government or if the Freed Americans were making a bio-weapon that got out of control. Twenty years later in March of twenty fifty three evidence is discovered that several Anti-American groups worked together to start the war in order to remove the U.S.A. as a global power. Evidence pointing to this included a chemical compound in the explosives that wasn't used by the U.S military as well as several damning e-mails traded between various future leaders of the Freed Americans and several radical groups. The e-mails promised money and shelter in exchange for violently protesting at various places with the earliest e-mail dated March first of twenty twenty eight.
Serve and Protect: December first of twenty thirty two. I began going from place to place searching for ways to help people survive in this current hellscape. My basic knowledge of medical treatments make me as useful as anyone else with no practical experience when it comes to being a frontline medic. My job is simple stabilize the patients to send them to a Mobile Armed forces Surgical Hospital. My lack of practice makes me good for minor injuries that need stitching as well as rashes and allergic reactions. On December fifteenth I get reassigned to being the area cook due to a love of cuisine. Sadly the love peters out with our supplies and the realization that this war isn't going to end soon enough. Dobson the prior cook gets killed by sniper fire despite our unit being designated as non-hostile and accommodating to both sides.
Changing the Industry: November twelfth twenty thirty nine. To prevent complete company collapse Microsoft and Sony combined and moved their buildings and workers to Asia. Five years after moving they would be bought out by Nintendo along with all the other video companies making a video game monopoly simply known as Nintendo Complex in November sixteenth twenty forty four. The first game released by this new mega company was known as Call of Pokemon a M for Mature game that took place during one of the Kanto/Johto wars. Surprisingly it was a resounding success despite the introduction of graphic violence and gore to Pokemon and the price tag being equivalent to one hundred fifty dollars before the several waves of twenty dollar downloadable contents brought it up to nearly three hundred dollars by the end. Of course there were several games in similar vein following the successful release Call of Pokemon Crystal, Emerald, Platinum, on and on the releases went as long as the fans were consuming the new games with rabid fervor Nintendo Complex was happy to release even gorier games.
The Blank Period: December twenty forty four to October eighteenth of twenty eighty two. The dates where I lost more and more things. For example the farm, my dignity, my sanity, and that little broken winged creature that most people call hope. Most of the time I was in a drug fueled haze from taking way more anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs than I probably should have coupled with a rather large amount of alcohol.
First Death: October nineteenth of twenty eighty two. I think it's a little self explanatory at this point.
A cheering and the sound of bare feet running up the stairs dictated that I should put the list away sooner rather than later. I shoved the list under the bed just as the red haired missile known as Teresa collided with my back and wrapped her arms around my neck. "We won! We won! We won! We won!" she yelled in excitement. It was obvious grandma and grandpa found my filled out card that I planted amongst theirs. Cutting through the excitement was Samantha's stern yet caring response of "Teresa if you keep hugging him like that he's going to choke.". Teresa let go as if she was burnt before using a surprising amount of strength to pull me up to my feet. Seeing I was fine she began french kissing me heavily. I could practically feel Samantha's eyes spinning around in their sockets like a top from how much she was rolling them in amusement at Teresa's random actions. With a heart full of joy and hope I pulled Samantha into a hug with my right hand before pulling Teresa closer to me with my left. Ignoring their low groans of disappointment and my raging libido I went downstairs just in time to hear the news repeat its prior announcement "Yes those are the lucky numbers that those lucky few picked. The four winners will split the grand prize of one million dollars which will be presented at the states capitol tomorrow at one o' clock P.M.. In further news…." I tuned the rest of the news cast's words out. Four winners, the first time through there were five more winners bringing the money down to a still respectable one hundred eleven thousand one hundred eleven dollars and some odd cents. Now it would be a two hundred fifty thousand pay out per person. Much more than I calculated for originally which opened up more options. It was hard to remember all the potential companies that I could buy up a majority hold in, I would have to see if I could use one of the computers at the school library to take a look at potential investments. It was swiftly decided that grandpa and grandma would pick up the money while us three kids would be at school getting a further education. I wonder how much they would freak out if they knew I was mentally older than them? Either way the day of reckoning was upon me. Anxiety, nervousness, and excitement filled me in equal measure as the family settled down for a simple dinner of spaghetti and meatballs once the news ended. Once the last dish was put up on the counter Samantha and Teresa raced up the stairs to shower and get into bed while I slowly made my way up as well. I was sunken so deep into my mind that I just went through the motions of my shower before crawling into bed between my red haired lifesavers. Pulling the partially asleep Samantha and Teresa tight to me I covered us up with the covers and drifted away into a hopefully more restful sleep.