It seemed that my beliefs that sleep would be evasive was wrong for the sight before me could only be a dream. We were in the old blue minivan on the way to great aunt Rita and great uncle Don's house for the holidays. Snow covered everything in sight with a bright luster that made looking out of the car for to long painful. Grandpa was driving while Grandma sang along to one of the random Yule time songs on the radio. The fact that Tyler and Matthew were still alive and singing along with Grandma from their spot in the back seat firmly cemented the certainty that this was a dream. Teresa was sleeping between me and Samantha in the middle seats. Up and down hills we rode for two hours as Grandma ceaselessly sang holiday songs only stopping as we pulled up a familiar gravel driveway. It was odd seeing the farm that Rita and Don lived on in such good condition. The last time I saw the house it was dilapidated and rotting away with the animals either taken or slaughtered, of course that was a few weeks after the end of the second Civil War. The house was three stories tall and made of yellow brick covered with a great many windows on each floor. There were several vehicles already there by the time we got all the way up the driveway. Uncle Brent's black four wheel drive truck was parked in front of the attached garage, Brent always kept his vehicles shiny and new. Of course uncle Michael's mud covered truck next to it showed a clear contrast in vehicular cleanliness. Even after all those years of puzzling and head scratching no one knew how Michael could find mud in subzero temperatures. Aunt Rita and uncle Don's little white Cady was parked up by the tree next to the barnyard as usual so that everyone would have a nice place to park. Uncle Brent's sons Brandon and Cody poked their brown haired heads up from whatever video game they were playing to stare at us as we passed the living room windows with presents in our arms. Brandon was a slightly heavier boy with dark brown hair and a love for mischief that he shared with his brother. Cody was much skinnier than his brother and had brown hair that was nearly blond. They were older than me and Samantha and self proclaimed as "cool older cousins who don't believe in Santa nonsense." which upset Tyler Teresa and Mathew. Brent had hair of a similar tone to Brandon's, a thin mustache that he would comb whenever he was nervous, and was thin as a rail. Aunt Rita was my Grandma's sister, an older bubbly woman with colored blond/grey hair in a perpetual beehive hairdo who contrasted her husband Donald in the extreme. Donald was a rather short and angry man who had black hair, a thick mustache, and drove semi five days a week. As we entered the wooden door I saw that Aunt Lisa and uncle Michael were helping aunt Rita cook up a fantastic meal of mashed potatoes, cheese cake, ham, green beans, corn, and pumpkin pie. Uncle Don was drinking coffee at the kitchen table while uncle Brent went out to help Grandpa get the presents we couldn't carry in on our first run. As the many cats and dogs aunt Rita fostered swarmed us I broke away to pet the twin Huskies Cricket and Casey. Once she escaped the hoard of purring and barking creatures Grandma set the presents she was carrying down immediately puttered in to the kitchen to take uncle Michael's place helping aunt Rita with the cooking. Once all the presents were set down all the kids gathered around Brandon and Cody while they played the latest in mind numbing violence fueled gaming they could get their hands on. Five minutes into playing Cody's character met their demise via explosion causing him to shriek out "God damn piece of shit!" which made his father yell "Cody watch your mouth!". Mid laugh Brandon's character died the same way "Son of a bitch!" he roared causing Brent to begin reprimanding him "Brandon knock it off!". Looking at each other Brandon and Cody smirked before simultaneously yelling "Mother fucking God damned shit swizzler!". Brent immediately ran into the living room, flipped the power on the stretch cord to the gaming system off, and yanked the cord from the wall before walking away with it. Five seconds after Brent left Brandon and Cody started laughing while the rest of us looked horrified and confused with Tyler already letting the crocodile tears fall.
Once the food was finished cooking and everyone gathered around the table we said a quick prayer and ate. After the last person got done eating we each passed the honorary first gift of the holiday to each other. Usually the present would be a small snack or a Christmas card which we would pass to each other before opening the rest of the presents on Christmas proper.
As the pleasantries came to a close Grandpa set a familiar book on his lap and waited for everyone to get seated. Aunt Rita and Grandma sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Uncle Brent was taking the dogs out with uncle Don so they could have a smoke. I sat down on the floor only to have Cricked and Casey charge through the door and slump down next to me. Lisa held a sleepy Teresa on her lap as she sat on one of the many recliners. Samantha sat on the floor next to Lisa and began petting one of the many cats. Michael sat on one of the older couches with Tyler and Matthew next to him. Despite their title of "cool older cousins who don't believe in Santa nonsense" I noticed Cody and Brandon peaking their heads around the corner to listen in, of course this was thwarted when uncle Brent came in picked them both up and set them on an unoccupied couch before going to the kitchen to get his own cup of coffee.
After a brief snort of amusement Grandpa began reading aloud from the book "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutter and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name: "Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle. And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!".".
The moment Grandpa stopped reading the door burst open revealing a disheveled Santa with a dusty black bag, a slightly charred beard, and a corncob pipe clenched tightly between yellow teeth. "Holy shit!" The angered Claus yelled out waking any of the kids that were snoozing. He continued his tirade after he kicked the door shut behind him "Which one of you forgot to turn down the fire?! I got five feet down the chimney and had to turn around!" Rita's hand went to her face as she tried to hold in her laughter. "What the hell are you laughing at woman?! I nearly got my goose cooked!" the enraged Kringle roared causing Rita to descend into uncontrollable laughter. Uncle Brent cut in "Dad you were supposed to go down the kitchen chimney not the living room chimney.". After a few moments Santa plastered on a strained smile and said "In that case everyone in this house is getting.". All the kids leaned forward in excitement to hear what the not so jolly old man had to say. "An enormous lump of coal unless you get to bed! It's passed your bedtime, I know at least two of you didn't wash your hands before eating, and none of you brushed your teeth yet! Now brush your teeth and go to bed!" he yelled before brandishing a charcoal briquette like it was a clove of garlic or cross to drive away vampires. At that point it was a race of screaming and crying kids trying to brush their teeth before anyone else and get into bed. Looking back I can say it was definitely an effective way to get the kids to listen considering even Brandon and Cody behaved. Of course the good behavior was short lived with a barrage of pranks leading to the sleepover being the first and only of its kind to be held at aunt Rita's house. As the fog of dreamland started clearing my last slumbering thought was Merry Christmas.