Prologue (1st part)
It's been the thousandth time in many infinities I've heard the many judgements why someone angelic as him would be with me, the devil.
I never bothered about their gossips of me. What else can I do anyway? Words cut deeper than knives and they are desperately trying to kill me with them out of envy. Little do they know only imbeciles allow them-selves get a thousand cut and pitifully express their pain in the crowd. I do remember some motivational speaker on my elementary graduation ceremony lamenting on his struggles of woeful verdicts coming from fools who never had anything better to do than meddle in other's affairs.
Can't blame the other side either. The world needs entertainment. Not some old and lifeless happy endings. Nobody is interested in fairy tales with the same repetitive plot that ends exactly with the lines "Happy ever after".
No, dear. If you want to shine, you have to be the only luminescent in the clear path. Shine brighter than the stars, and make history. Just like 'Cleopatra' and 'Michael Jackson'. Their names will be etched on the minds of many people throughout the years. If they aren't clever enough, then others would've been easily crowned as the 'Great queen' or the 'King of Pop'.
Now you're probably wondering why am I the 'devil'. To be frank, I did not name myself nor do I aspired to become one.
As a matter of fact, everyone of us has our own tale. I firmly believe no one is born purely evil. If that were to happen, it will be inhumane.
Like the others, I do have a story.
And I have every reason to every action I did to each and every single one of them. Perhaps my hatred have driven me far from what I wished for. And my wishes, never once came true. I pity the life I've gotten into so much that I was desperate.
Look where it got me.
Anyway, before we proceed allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Dawn. Why so? I was born on April 15, 4:00pm. That's what my dear mother told me. As to why my name is Dawn? No reason. She just loved it.
If only she knew Dawn was not what would become of me. She may have changed my name to Dusk instead where it probably would reflect me the most.
I am currently 18, and on my way to college in Oxford. Course? Medical. I planned to be a doctor, then upgrade to performing surgeries. I passed Oxford by luck and as to why I didn't try Harvard because it's popular? That's the reason why I didn't try Harvard. You see, Harvard is too popular and my instinct to defame it got me to pick the one university who might match up to Harvard. Oxford that is. By the way, I wouldn't actually defame Harvard, it's just an instinct. No reason to break an innocent society now, do I? They didn't kill my mother.
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When I was young, I lived a normal and stable life as any other kids. Or so I thought.
You see, outside, I love being with the people around me. Making new friends was easy despite being mostly shy. I managed to fit into the crowd by luck.
I did my best, is all I could say. I try to be the perfect fit for them though something about me made me stand out in the worse way possible.
I do thought I'd have a normal life. The family I have was well, complicated. My dad became an alcoholic bastard and my mom was beginning to be filled with anxiety. I grew up with two brothers and me being the youngest but our relationship is quite hostile. I tried to be close with them, but they're always self-centered. So I have no one but myself.
Growing up, I've gotten used to fights that gives unnecessary entertainment to our neighbors that made me the talk of the whole neighborhood. Everyday I had to boldly face my 'friends' and act like nothing-happened-that-night-when-my-parents-are-fighting-and-disrupted-the-peaceful-night. Yeah, sure I got ill-famed because of that.
It's horrible to be the only one loathed in a small community and I am that girl for no apparent reason. If only I decided the moment I knew it was sure.
There's this girl called Julia, and she used to be my best friend back then. We were the opposite in most possible ways.
She was fat, I am slim. Her hair's long, mine's short. She was popular, I was a shadow. I am taller, she is short. I have strict parents while she lived a carefree life. She is close to her brother while I am distant with mine. She was daring, I was not. I am smart, she is average.
Honestly, I envied almost everything about her. I wanted to be close with my family and not being left out. I wanted to be as daring as her to face almost everything and get along with what's relevant to my age. She had everything I wished for.
That's why we became friends. She liked some things about me the same way I did about her. But we never told each other about it. We stayed strong through thick and thin.
Things went downhill after a few years. I never would've thought she begins to despise me that much that she began to fling dirt behind my back. She knows my soft heart can't say no to my best friend and pleaded me to transfer to a public school. I didn't agree with her at first but I ended up transferring to her school. Being popular means having the power to influence a whole crowd to take your side.
She made everyone think that I looked down on them because I got to a private school. My mother made me though. I did not even think about the difference they view to a private school student and the public one. So I was obliged to do what she wanted.
I had a rough time trying to adjust the buttons to make myself less different. But I developed anger issues there and never have I experienced discrimination since I looked different. My hazel eyes stood out unlike their black marble-like ones, not to mention, my white-pale skin that contrast their fair and dark tone. The teachers were biased to their favorite student Ann, who was the worst person I've ever met. In short, my life turned to a living hell.
It worsened as my mom got my dad to jail and our family broke apart. I dreaded that moment to come and it blasted a hole right through my heart.
Everything turned from a tilt to complete upsidedown as I went through a normal day trying hard to keep a smile.
A new neighbor moved in a few days ago while I was away for a couple days since my parent's separation.
Her name's Brianna and she was everything I wished to be. That's when I knew, I am no longer needed. Julia is the first person to show me what a snake she was. By making Brianna dislike me, she told everyone and everything bad about me, truth or lie.
The greatest betrayal she'd done was telling everyone that my dad was a criminal. And thankfully, her dad got him into prison. My mom was a psycho that she had to be taken to psychiatric ward.
It is true. I kept it a secret because I was embarrassed and I don't want any humiliation from him anymore. Though, I missed him, the truth is that it is the only way for him to support his family and to repay the debt he was accused for. My mother was in the state of the worst form of depression if I'd say, after all that had happened.
My brothers struggled to find a living. My eldest brother selfishly left me and my second older brother alone. My second brother told me to stay here and promised he'll come back to me before leaving to get adopted to my father's relatives.
I was left alone in the house all day crying and hoping they'd all come back tomorrow but is nothing but a foolish hope.
One day, while me and Julia along with the other girls were hanging out and making fun of me and my family. I felt my anger peak to the very tip of my hair and I told them nicely I'll be going back home. They ignored me and was laughing about another topic but I simply didn't care.
I shut myself out. This time, I didn't cry.
For the first time in my whole life, I hated every single people in this whole world.
And the silence of the empty house gave me peace I never thought would be with no one but me. I turned off the lights and opened the windows to gaze at the night sky.
Now I know how beautiful the dark is.
After all, I cringed at every fairy tales with is pastel colors and rainbows.
I know I despised changes and after being controlled by the people around me, I never knew what I really loved.
Silence in the dark with no one around me.
Back then, I hated being alone.
Jean-Paul Sartre was right after all.
Hell is other people.
My heart lightened as I gaze unto the twinkling stars. The piercing cold air gushing to me that relax every bit of me which never happened once in my whole life. A feeling of silence as I sat alone. That's when I knew,
I am free.
PS: Let me know in the comments what you think about her. (I'm curious (^^))