When Reshi awoke, it was to the light of a red sun bleeding across a sky choked in polluted greys. The faint, delicate streaks of pink that dared to reach across the pollution looked out of place, as if the skies were no longer a canvas made for heaven's beauty.
He smiled. Not wide, not bright. Just a soft, fleeting curve of his lips, so subtle it might have gone unnoticed.
He couldn't explain why, but there was something light in his chest, like the remnants of a forgotten dream. The sensation was strange, alien, even. It felt like flexing a muscle long forgotten. But it wasn't a bad feeling. It was…nice.
'Mother would be happy I'm smiling again… Maybe I'll go to her room and tell her.'
The thought bloomed so naturally, so casually, it startled him. He shifted under the blanket, glancing around.
And froze.
He wasn't in his own bed. He was in hers. His body lay nestled beneath her blanket, his head's impression still pressed into her pillow. A realization, sharp and heavy, landed with
a thud in his chest, chasing away the lightness.
'Oh. Right. She's dead.'
The world dulled, snapping back to its usual grey. The weight returned a heavy, suffocating thing clinging to his ribs. He got up slowly, moving without purpose until he reached the door.
The kitchenette greeted him with silence, though it was hardly empty. There on the floor, curled up next to the couch, lay the boy, Judas. He was small, painfully so, and his malnourished frame was easy to spot, even under the blanket. One tiny hand was stretched out, fingers resting against his mothers own outstretched palm.
Her color had returned to her face in the light of day. Her auburn hair fanned out around her delicate features, softening the signs of hardship etched into her skin. She was… pretty. Maybe even beautiful.
If Reshi cared about such things, he would've noticed. But he didn't notice. Because he didn't care, not about anything, not anymore.
He made his way to the kitchenette, pulling out the dull ingredients he had on hand. His hands moved automatically, cracking synth eggs into a preheated pan, the hiss of synth butter filling the silence.
He enjoyed cooking. It gave him something to do, a reprieve from thinking too hard.
'You fool.' The thought stabbed through the quiet, sharp and familiar. The wretch within him had finally decided to speak up.
'Why'd you go and play the hero again? Haven't you learned by now?'
He didn't remember what, exactly, had compelled him to save them. That part of him, the one that did those things. The part that cared, he had buried it with his family. And yet, there he was. Cooking for strangers.
When he turned, plates in hand, Judas was already awake. The boy's dark, unfathomable eyes were fixed on him, watching silently. It was a look that struck Reshi to his core, not for its intensity, but for its familiarity. He'd seen that look before. It had been years, but he remembered.
'The eyes of someone who's seen too much. Fuck, what type of you gotta live to have a soldier's gaze..'
"You're smiling," Judas said softly. His voice was clear, devoid of the shyness most kids his age carried.
Reshi blinked. Then, with a jolt, he realized the boy was right. He had indeed been smiling. Hurriedly he wiped the expression off his face like it was something shameful.
"Wake your mother," he instructed, voice flat. "It's better if a familiar face is the first thing she sees."
Judas nodded, rising without a word. He crouched by his mother's side, shaking her gently awake. Reshi stayed back, watching from the kitchen as her eyelids fluttered open, revealing eyes so vividly green they seemed to cut through the room's muted colors.
Her reaction was instant—panic.
She scrambled away, her body trembling with fear.
"Mom," Judas said quickly, his small voice anchoring her. "It's okay. You're safe. We're safe. This is the man who rescued us."
Her breathing steadied, though her eyes darted to Reshi with wariness. He couldn't blame her. The Republic's streets weren't kind to women, and trust was a currency few could afford. He met her gaze, dark and steady, before gesturing to the food.
"Eat," he said. "You'll need your strength. There's no catch, no strings. Just rest."
Her hesitation was palpable, but hunger overruled caution. Soon, they were all seated on the floor, eating in silence. Reshi was struck again by how good the food tasted, how rich the flavors seemed, even though they shouldn't have. It was like some strange alchemy had stripped the bitterness from the synth ingredients.
'Why does everything taste so good lately?'
When they'd finished, he leaned back, content to let the silence stretch. But he knew he couldn't delay the inevitable.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Mary," she replied, her voice steady. "My name's Mary."
Reshi's lips twitched into a faint smile. "That's a nice name," he murmured. "My mother's name was Mary."
Her expression softened briefly. "And yours?"
"Reshi."
She nodded. "Reshi… What happened after I passed out? Judas told me last night, but I want to hear it from you."
He tilted his head, studying her. There was strength in her gaze, a quiet, unyielding sort of resilience. It reminded him of his mother. Maybe all Marys were strong.
"I'll tell you," he said at last, "but first, tell me what happened before."
Her shoulders tensed, but she answered. "The man who stabbed me, Azazael, he works for the man who… employed me. That night, I tried to escape with my son. They'd been holding him hostage to keep me in line." Her voice wavered but didn't break, even as tears shimmered in her green eyes.
"I ran. Azrael came after me. He was going to kill me. To make an example of me."
Reshi nodded. It wasn't an uncommon story. Too many women in the Republic lived lives of quiet, endless suffering.
"After you passed out," he began carefully, "I heard Judas screaming. I fought Azrael. Then me and your son brought you here."
Mary bowed her head. "Thank you," she said quietly. "I… I have nothing to repay you with,
but thank you."
Her words carried more weight than he expected. Gratitude wasn't something people like her, like him, gave lightly. But then again, there wasn't much to be grateful for when living in the Republic.
"It's fine," he said simply. "Rest up. Stay off the streets for a while."
And with that, he got up, retreating into his own thoughts. 'Should I have just left them?' The question gnawed at him, but he pushed it aside. There was no use in wondering now.
Reshi changed into his work uniform quietly, his movements unhurried. He had a job to get to, though it hardly paid well.
The Army might have funded his medical school tuition, but they didn't cover living expenses. And after what had happened to his family, the school had mercifully given him time off, yet bills waited for no one, even if they were grieving.
This was his life now. A dull rhythm of survival. Until last night, anyway.
"I'll be gone for the day," he told Mary as he grabbed his things. "I've only got one key, so I'll have to lock you two in. Bathroom's down the hall. If you're tired, my bedroom's open. There's a cupboard in there with some clothes that might fit you. Judas can take the smaller room; there are clothes for him too, though they'll be big."
Mary nodded wordlessly. Her guardedness was still there, though cracks had begun to show. She wasn't used to kindness without cost. He could see the conflict in her face. A mix of appreciation and rising fear as she deliberated what he would exact from her in return.
"Rest," he said, voice softer now. "Eat. And don't worry."
With that, Reshi left, locking the door behind him. The long walk to the convenience store gave his mind too much room to wander. His thoughts circled back to Mary and Judas, and he found himself asking the same question over and over.
'Why am I doing this?'
There was no answer. Only the echo of his own doubts and the bitter truth he'd long since learned: life didn't hesitate to break a man twice if he hadn't learned his lesson the first time. And Reshi, well he didn't have a third time in him.
By the time he reached the store, his mind was a mess of unanswered questions. He pushed them aside as he stepped inside.
"Morning, Mr. Mik," he greeted.
The egg-shaped man popped his head up from behind the counter. "Ah, Reshi. Morning. You're on time, good. I've got somewhere to be."
With a nod, Mr. Mik tossed Reshi the keys and left, leaving him alone in the store. Reshi sighed, settling in for what would undoubtedly be a long, mind-numbing day. He hated working here not because it was hard, but because it gave him too much time to think.
His mind was a dangerous place to get lost in.
The first few hours passed uneventfully, until a group of five men sauntered in. Reshi tensed immediately. They were trouble; he could see it in the way they moved, in the heavy weight of their gazes as they surveyed the store.
He listened carefully as they wandered the aisles, talking loudly among themselves.
"Yeah, Az got messed up bad. He was sent to take out that girl and her brat, and look what happened to him."
"Man's face is wrecked," another added, snickering. "Never thought I'd see Azazael lose a fight. Must've been some psycho who got him."
"Well, that's why we're here, ain't it? Boss sent us to clean up. No way one guy's gonna take all of us."
"Yeah. Good chance to show the Boss what we're made of."
Reshi kept his head down, his heart hammering in his chest. They're looking for me. And not just him. Mary and Judas too. He had to stay calm, keep his mask on.
One of the men approached the counter, slapping a pack of smokes onto it. "Give me this," he said gruffly.
"Thirty credits," Reshi replied evenly, careful to keep his hands steady. He turned, grabbing the pack with his unbandaged right hand and placing it on the counter.
The man didn't move to pay. Instead, he stared at Reshi for a long moment before raising a hand and slapping him across the face. The impact was heavy, sending him stumbling backward.
"It's free, you little shit. Everything we want here is free. Got that?"
Reshi nodded, keeping his eyes down. "Yes, sir."
The men laughed, their voices loud and grating as they took what they wanted and sauntered out. Reshi waited until they were gone before exhaling shakily, rubbing his stinging cheek.
'Fuck me that was close.'
When Mr. Mik arrived to take over, Reshi explained what had happened. The older man nodded solemnly but said nothing. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, and it wouldn't be the last.
Reshi left the store, his mind racing. The men had been sent by the same Boss who had sent Azazel. They weren't just looking for Mary and Judas anymore, they were looking for him. He'd stepped into something dangerous, and now there was no turning back.
'Looks like life is gearing for round three' he thought with humourless mirth.
By the time he reached his apartment, it was late. The main room was empty, and Judas was asleep in the smaller bedroom. When Reshi opened the door to his own room, he froze.
Mary was there, lying under the sheets. Her clothes were neatly folded in a pile on the floor, and her bright green eyes met his with an expression he'd seen before. Warm. Inviting. Seductive.
"Hello, Reshi," she said softly, her voice lilting with practiced ease. "You look tired. Come here, let's rest together."
Reshi stared at her, his expression unreadable. For a moment, temptation tugged at him, warm and insidious. Mary was beautiful, there was no denying that. But stronger than his desire was something else. Pity. Deep and aching pity.
"Stop," he said quietly.
Her smile faltered. "What do you mean? Don't you want to? I'm here. I'm—"
"You don't have to do this," he interrupted. His voice was firm but not unkind. "I meant what I said earlier. I'm not expecting anything from you."
Mary's expression crumbled. "Am I not good enough?" she snapped, her voice trembling. "What more do you want from me?"
Tears welled in her eyes, and Reshi felt his chest tighten. She hadn't cried when she spoke of Azrael or the horrors she'd endured. But now, as she tried to offer herself to him, the dam broke.
"You don't need to do this," he said again, his voice softer this time. "It's okay. I promise. You don't owe me anything."
Mary's composure shattered. She sobbed openly, tears streaming down her face as years of pain and humiliation poured out all at once. Reshi stood silently, giving her space. He should've comforted her, he knew that. But something stopped him. Despite all the hardships Mary had gone through, she was innocent. A victim, one that had tried her hardest in life.
But Reshi, well, he was filthy, responsible for so much. And so he stood there silently, separated by a void he couldn't fully understand.
After a long while, she spoke, her voice hoarse. "Thank you."
Reshi nodded. "Put your clothes on," he said gently. "Let me know when you're done."
He stepped out, closing the door behind him. He waited, the minutes dragging on until finally, her voice called out to him.
When he reentered, she was fully clothed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her eyes were red and swollen, but there was something softer about her now, something unguarded.
"Thank you," she said again, her voice barely above a whisper.
Reshi offered her a faint smile. "You already said that."
She smiled back, it wasn't the wide seductive smile that she had been forced to use all her life. No, it was small, and embarrassed, and for some reason. Infinitely more precious.
"That was for saving my life. This is for… for not taking advantage."
He nodded. "Go get some rest. Your son's in the other room."
She hesitated for a moment before standing. "Goodnight, Reshi."
"Goodnight."
When she was gone, Reshi collapsed onto his bed. The smile slipped from his face, leaving only exhaustion. Sleep came quickly, sweeping him away into dreams of a time long gone. A time of smiles, warmth, and sunlight.
And for a few fleeting hours, he was with them again.