I stand before my new husband, my heart racing. The satin dress clings tightly to my skin, making it hard to breathe.
"Matthew?" I whisper, my voice trembling. My heart pounds against my ribcage as I see the storm brewing in his eyes, the cold, unfeeling look.
I've never seen someone look at me like this before. So angry. So full of hatred.
"You wouldn't force me to have sex with you tonight, would you? I thought you hated me," I plead meekly.
He wouldn't force me, no way. Matthew isn't like that.
For a moment, there's nothing but silence, thick and suffocating. His gaze locks on me, hard, cold.
Matthew wouldn't hurt me. He's not that kind of man. I keep repeating in my head as if it will change anything.
"I do hate you," he snarls, the words laced with venom, as he grabs the edges of my gown, his hands rough and relentless. With a sharp motion, he rips the delicate fabric down the center, leaving me naked and vulnerable.
God, I am an idiot.
A sudden burst of cold air hit my bare skin as the air conditioning unit sprang to life. The cool draft sent a shiver down my spine, causing goosebumps to rise on my arms and legs.
I wrap my arms around myself and tremble, partly because I am cold but mostly because I am scared out of my wits.
I had never imagined that on the night I had dreamed of for so long, Matthew would reveal the truth of his hatred for me.
"The…then we shouldn't do this tonight," I say. "We can figure it out in the morning."
He lets out a humorless chuckle. "Oh no, Sarah. Just because you had your way up until now, you get to call the shots? I won't let you. I am done being your little puppet. Tonight is our wedding night. We are here because of you, and tonight, I will get to call the shots."
My throat tightens as I try to swallow, confusion clouding my mind. "I… I don't understand," I whisper, my voice breaking. "What do you mean? Why would you want to sleep with me if you hate me?"
He suddenly grabs my throat and pushes me toward the bed.
The back of my knees hit the edge of the mattress, and I tumble onto the bed, my heart pounding in my chest. Matthew looms over me, his eyes dark and menacing.
"Don't act innocent now. You've been playing me for a fool all this time," he growls, his grip on my throat tightening. "Telling your Daddy that you love me so you could treat me like your little toy?"
Tears sting my eyes as I try to shake my head, but his hold is too strong. "No, Matthew, please," I choke out. "I do love you. I've always loved you."
"LIAR!" he roars, his face contorting with rage. "You never loved me. You only wanted to use me, to manipulate me, because that's who you are."
I sob, my body trembling beneath him. How could he think such terrible things? How could he not see the truth of my feelings for him?
"Matthew, stop," I plead. "You are hurting me."
For a moment, he stills, his eyes searching mine. I see a flicker of the man I fell in love with, the man I thought I knew. But just as quickly, it vanishes, replaced by a cold, hard stranger.
"You don't get to tell me what to do anymore," he says, his tone eerily calm. "Tonight, I'm going to show you what real pain feels like."
With a brutal yank, he flips me onto my stomach, pinning me down with the weight of his body.
"What are you doing?" I cry out, trying to get up, but he is too strong.
"Making your dreams come true, 'wife,' he murmurs in my ear. "This is what you always wanted, right?"
My voice breaks into a whimper, and tears flow down my cheeks before I can hold them back. "Please, Matthew, don't do this," I plead, "I am your wife. Can we please talk about this?"
"Wife?" Matthew's laughter is dark and mocking. "This marriage means nothing to me. It's all just a big joke."
"That's not true…" I try to defend our relationship, but he yanks on my underwear with a loud rip.
He is really going to do this. He will hurt me.
"No, Matthew…stop. Let go of me," I cry and try to squirm out of his grasp, but he is too strong.
I had spent countless hours fantasizing about these arms, picturing myself in his embrace and trying to imagine what it would feel like.
"What's wrong, Sarah? Isn't this what you wanted? I thought you wanted me so bad that you had to convince your daddy dearest to force me into marrying you. Now, you will finally have what you've always wanted. So why try to push me away?" he hissed.
"Not like this. I didn't want it like this," I sob.
Yes, he was right. I have done things. Terrible, stupid things to make him mine. And now, fate is punishing me for it.
"I hate you," Matthew says as he forces my legs apart. "I hate you, Sarah. You've ruined my life, and now it's my turn to ruin yours."
I didn't mean to ruin his life.
That's what I want to say, but no words come out of my mouth.
Because he isn't wrong.
The guilt overwhelms me, but nothing comes out. He's right. I ruined his relationship with the one he truly loves. And now, he wants to make me pay the price for it.
I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for the inevitable agony to come. Tears stream down my face, soaking into the sheets under me.
I never thought it would end like this. I never thought the man I loved would be capable of such cruelty, such betrayal.
"I will never love you, Sarah Wilson. Never," he growls.