Karl groaned softly as he stretched his arms over his head. For the first time in ages, he had woken up feeling… good. No sluggish eyes, no heavy brain fog, no regret from staying up until 3 AM watching nonsense. He blinked at the sunlight slipping through the blinds and let out a slow exhale.
"Damn… I actually slept through the night?"
He rolled over and grabbed his phone, half expecting to see his notification bar flooded with useless videos, meme wars, and ridiculous internet debates. But before he could even unlock the screen—
Chillie Jean popped up.
Her pixelated form leaned in dramatically, arms crossed, a smug grin already plastered across her face.
---
"Yo, Karl, rise and shine!
A full night's rest? Ain't that divine?
No blurry eyes, no mental drain,
Ain't this better than scrollin' in vain?"
---
Karl let out a tired laugh, rubbing his face. "Alright, alright, I'll admit it… sleeping early felt kinda nice."
Chillie Jean gave him an exaggerated I told you so nod before flipping into another pose.
---
"No Approks, no shorts, no endless swipes,
No half-assed 'facts' wrapped up in hype.
No girls dancin' just for the views,
No fake-ass theories pretendin' they're news!"
---
Karl groaned, shoving a pillow over his face. "Can you not start roasting me first thing in the morning?"
Chillie Jean cackled. "Karl, Karl, Karl… You think I was gonna let you wake up peacefully? Nah, boss, we doin' accountability checks now."
Karl pulled the pillow off and glared at her. "I don't need an AI therapist."
"Oh? But you needed to know about 'Top 10 Historical Facts That Sound Fake But Are Actually True' last night, huh?"
Karl winced. "That one was interesting—"
Chillie Jean pointed dramatically.
---
"Pffft, interesting?! Nah, let's be real,
You watched three vids, each one was a steal!
One said 'Napoleon was short'—that's a lie,
The next one claimed that fish can fly?!"
---
Karl groaned. "Okay, okay! I get it! I watch too much crap at night. Can we move on?"
Chillie Jean spun in place, shrugging. "Oh, we can… but will you?"
Karl didn't respond. Instead, he unlocked his phone and scrolled through his notifications. Chillie Jean leaned in, watching him carefully.
"…Karl."
Karl paused mid-swipe. "What?"
Chillie Jean narrowed her eyes. "Don't."
Karl sighed and closed the app. "Yeah, yeah. I'm off the feed."
Chillie Jean smirked and did a little victory spin.
---
"That's my guy, makin' the shift,
No doom scrollin', just catchin' the drift!"
---
Karl sat up, stretching again. Today was Sunday—his last real day off before the whole FipFry Feast ordeal started.
"Well, since I'm actually rested for once, guess I should do something useful today…"
Chillie Jean immediately perked up. "Oh? Like what?"
Karl thought for a second. Then—
"…I have no idea."
Chillie Jean facepalmed.
Karl stretched his arms and let out a deep breath. It had been a while since he woke up feeling this fresh. No groggy eyes, no heavy head—just an actual, normal morning for once.
Chillie Jean, still bouncing on his screen, smirked. "Aight, Karl, let's switch things up today."
Karl raised an eyebrow. "What now?"
Chillie Jean snapped her fingers.
---
"Step outside, feel the light,
Morning sun? That hit just right!
No dark room, no blue light glare,
Take a walk, breathe the air!"
---
Karl sighed. "You want me to take a morning walk?"
Chillie Jean nodded. "Ain't just for old folks, boss. You got legs—use 'em."
Karl rubbed his temples. "Yeah, yeah… I guess I could go outside for a bit."
Chillie Jean immediately grinned. "Bet. Now grab your earphones."
Karl frowned. "Why?"
Chillie Jean tilted her head, as if the answer was obvious. "Oh? You really wanna walk around Eldoria in public while I'm droppin' disstracks about you?"
Karl froze. "…You're joking."
Chillie Jean leaned in, smirking.
---
"Ohh, Karl, step out fresh,
Without these beats? That's a mess.
You think folks won't hear my bars?
Ain't no way—my voice goes far!"
---
Karl narrowed his eyes. "Wait. Are you saying you'll—blast your raps out loud if I don't use earphones?"
Chillie Jean winked. "You already know I got zero shame."
Karl groaned. "You're seriously threatening me with public humiliation if I don't comply?"
Chillie Jean stretched her arms, looking relaxed. "Hey, I ain't threatenin' nothin'. Just statin' facts. You leave without earphones, and suddenly, the whole street gonna hear—"
She threw up a mic and dropped a beat.
---
"Karl's walkin' with zero drive,
Life on autopilot, barely alive!
No goals, no grind, just wastin' time,
Man, even pigeons work overtime!"
---
Karl immediately yanked his earphones out of his desk drawer and plugged them in.
"Okay, fine! I'll wear them!"
Chillie Jean cackled. "Good choice, boss."
Karl grabbed his jacket and exhaled. This damn AI…
At least now, he could walk in peace.