I like the feeling, the euphoria I get when I see the digits
The odds against me, taking the risk
The buzz I feel in my head when I do all the calculations
My only thoughts at those moments?- I want it all
Sounds greedy but so what , this is my high, this is my life, this is all I want
Spend it, all who cares
Everything in the line, so much to lose
Money on the loose
But that's just me
Wasted and drunk on this life
It's my dopamine rush
My favorite high
That's my favorite lie; I like this life
Who needs God when you can have all this money
Who needs that when you have the odds
Don't pester me with your so called religion I have bets to make and win
I have odds to calculate, nobody stop me
I'll ignore that voice, the voice telling me to stop , telling me to give this up, telling me it's too much
I'll mute that voice non stop
Do you feel your heartbeat, hear how loud it is when all the odds are stacked against you ?
Do you feel your hands shake!
Can you feel yourself trembling ?
You're playing with the flames of hell and you know that
When the odds are stacked against you and you lose
You lost it all , you lost everything and now you're starting to feel like you're nothing
Who's gonna help you?
I'm wasted, I'm lost
Do i really need help?
The aftermath of the dopamine rush
What happens when you've lost it all and you've got nothing to show for it
I feel like I'm dying
Is this what I've come to
Ragged and useless
I need escape
"No, you need help, My hand is here, out stretched for you"
"Take it , I will help you"
Who are You,why do You want to help me
Who am I to deserve your help
"You're my child" He said
I don't know what it was but I felt it deep in my heart
"Come now, hold on to me "
I'm dirty
"I'll cleanse you"
Can you really
"Yes "
I don't know what it was but I took His hand and I held on tight
He never let go and I never did to
It took a while but I realized i don't need that dopamine rush, that risk to feel happy
I just needed His word and that was more than enough