I had a vision.
A vision about my dad.
No, no, he's not missing or anything. He's snoring in the next room with Mom.
Thank God I didn't hear those noises tonight. You know, the kind that makes you question why they don't soundproof bedrooms.
Anyway, I'm Darjend. Yup, I know the name sucks. Apparently, some ancient fossil decided to bless me with it. Thanks, Great-Grandpa. If I could summon the dead, you'd be the first to get an earful.
But today's not about revenge on bad naming choices. Today, I'm 13. And it's my first day at magic school.
Downstairs, I could hear my parents talking. Well, muttering. You know, the kind of muttering adults do when they're hiding something.
When I walked in, Mom's hair looked like she'd lost a wrestling match, and Dad was flipping pancakes like his life depended on it.
Mom pouted at him. "Don't overdo it, okay? My thighs are so sore right now."
Dad smirked. "What about your mouth?"
I stood there, blinking. What did he mean? Mom turned red, covering her mouth and throat.
"Stop it, honey!" she said, rolling her eyes.
"Uh, Dad?" I said, snapping them out of whatever post-match recap this was. "It's my first day at school."
Both of them turned to look at me, wide-eyed, like I was a ghost that just asked for Wi-Fi.
"I had a dream," I continued. "It was about you, Dad."
"Oh, yeah, kiddo?" Dad said, picking me up with one arm and plopping me onto the table like I was a sack of potatoes. "Do tell. We're all ears."
Mom chuckled and leaned in, brushing her messy hair aside. "What dream, Durr?"
Yeah, Durr. That's my nickname. As if Darjend wasn't bad enough.
"You were fighting a demon," I said.
Dad raised an eyebrow. "Oh, cool! Did I use my magic?"
"No, you were just fighting. But something felt… off."
Dad tilted his head, looking all serious for a moment before letting out a laugh. "It's just a dream, kiddo. Probably all those snacks you sneak before bed."
Mom nodded in agreement, her voice turning firm like it always does when she's about to order me around. "Now, go take a bath. Breakfast will be ready soon. It's your first day at school, and you're not going late."
I hopped off the table, muttering to myself as I headed upstairs.
Great. First day at magic school, and my parents are already making it weird.
I'm 13 now. A teenager. Practically an adult, right? Well, not in this house. Here, you don't get a phone until you're 16. Yup, a rule so dumb it belongs in a history book.
Anyway, I brushed my teeth, took a bath, and put on the school uniform Dad and I snagged on a buy one, get one free sale. Stylish, I know.
Feeling all ready for my first day at magic school, I walked into the kitchen, expecting pancakes or toast. Instead, I found… them.
My parents. Those two creatures.
The kitchen was a disaster zone, flour everywhere, dishes stacked like a Jenga tower, and not a single plate of food in sight.
And my parents? Oh, they weren't cooking. Nope. They were… doing something. Something intimate.
Mom was kneeling in front of Dad, her hair a mess, while Dad was looking down at her with that goofy grin.
"Uh… what are you doing?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
They froze. Mom jumped up so fast she almost knocked over the flour jar. "Darjend! You....you're supposed to...uh, knock!"
"For the kitchen?" I asked, blinking.
Dad scratched his head, trying to act normal. "Your mom… dropped something. I was… helping her pick it up."
"Right," I said, squinting. "Looks like she was real committed to finding it."
Mom turned bright red, grabbed a towel, and started wiping the counter furiously. "Go sit at the table, Durr! Breakfast is… coming."
I sat down, deciding to let it go. Whatever they were doing, I was too young...and too hungry....to deal with it.
I walked out of the kitchen, deciding it was safer not to ask questions. I plopped onto the couch in the living room, waiting for breakfast...or whatever those two creatures were trying to make.
But then I heard them muttering.
Mom's voice: "I'm so worked up right now…"
Dad's voice: "…coming in her mouth…"
I blinked. What? What?!
Does he mean… like… shrinking himself and somehow going in her mouth?
That's… weird. Really weird. I mean, why would you even want to do that?
I shook my head, trying to focus on something...anything...else. Magic school. Yeah. First day. Magic. Totally normal. Nothing weird here.
Finally, after what felt like forever, my parents brought out some food. I wish I could say it looked appetizing. It didn't.
They placed the plates down, grinning like they were hiding a million-dollar secret. I just stared at them, confused, before hesitantly taking a bite.
And immediately regretted it.
I gagged. "This is not good."
"Don't say things like that, son," Dad said, wagging his finger at me. "Your mom made it with love."
Love? More like… something else. Maybe that "coming" thing he was talking about earlier. But I kept my mouth shut and forced the food down.
Haa… Okay. They're my parents. I have to survive this.
In case you're wondering, their names are Jévet and Líaa. Surname? Oh, I could keep it a mystery, but fine. It's Sectens.
Yeah, I know. It sounds kinda… lewd. But it is what it is.
Anyway, Dad's a businessman who works in some fancy textile building. Mom's a housewife, which is a polite way of saying she spends half her time cleaning and the other half pretending to yell at Dad.
Oh, and their magic? Dad can control sand and turn it into glass. Pretty cool, right? Meanwhile, Mom's magic is… uh, she can make water warm.
Yup. That's it. She's basically a living kettle.
We live in a regular house in a regular neighborhood, surrounded by regular people. Everything's fine. Or, at least, it seems fine.
Dad was outside, honking the car horn like a madman. Meanwhile, Mom planted a kiss on my forehead and muttered some blessings for my first day of school.
"Go show them what you've got, sweetheart!"
Man, they're so annoying. But… I love them anyway.
The horn blared again. "Darjend! Let's go!"
"Coming!" I shouted, heading for the car. But then I stopped mid-step, smirking as an idea hit me. I turned to Dad with a smug grin.
"Dad… I'm coming," I said, dragging out the words just like Mom does every night.
His face went bright red. He knew exactly what I was doing.
"Get in the car, you little idiot!"
I chuckled and climbed in, still enjoying my joke.
Dad sighed and muttered, "Don't do it again, okay?"
I tilted my head, playing innocent. "Do what, Dad?"
He just groaned, gave up, and started driving.
I leaned back, watching the houses pass by through the window. Despite all the chaos this morning, I felt a buzz of excitement.
My first day at magic school. This was going to be… something.