Wow!
If only he knew the effects those words had on me, I have reversed to being a boiled shrimp right now, I am a squealing mess in my head right now. This man right here, my husband, is a man straight out of a romance fiction, how does he say those words that makes my heart skip a thousand beats and still be so calm, it should be illegal to be this handsome.
Considering after all he said and I still stood mute, I'd look like an idiot, I decided to reply sincerely.
"I have no objections to what you've said but I would like we suspended the wedding ceremony, we don't have have to keep our marriage a secret, I would just like to have it later", I responded after a while.
"And about moving in with you, I-I don't really have a place and I only have a few things so it's not a problem straight away if I'm not imposing" I said said while blushing.
I managed to catch him clench and unclench his teeth, and man, that sight!
'But wait, is he mad at me for wanting to be in his personal space? Or does he not want to share his space with me so early? Am I imposing? Does he have previous commitments with other women? Is that why he doesn't want me to be in his space? Because she's still there? But we're married? I'm his wife? Does he even like me? I knew he was lying when he said he wanted us to have a real marriage, I mean who would even want me? He's so amazing and I'm just a girl sold to him, he deserves better than me. Why did I even ask to move in right away? Now he thinks I'm some gold digger!' No, I have to stop thinking in this manner.
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt arms going around me and someone soothing me. I just had a panic attack.
"Shhh baby, it's okay, take deep breaths. It's okay, you're okay. Open your eyes and breathe, you're okay baby, I've got you, shhhh, it's okay, look at me, I'm here, I've got you."
Green eyes staring at me with worry deep inside brought me out of my little panic attack. Why was I even panicking? I don't even remember what brought about my anxiety, not when he hadn't given me a reason to not like him.
I realized we were already sitting on the sofa, and by we, I mean he is sitting on the sofa and I, on his lap, with my head on his shoulders. It felt natural to be in this position but considering even if he is my husband, we've just only met, I can guarantee you that I'm blushing to my toes right now, and my heart feels like it just did a beat-a-thon.
Oh, now he thinks I'm a freak who panics at every point.
"Love, what got you panicking so bad?" He coaxed. His green eyes compelling me to answer, he looked so cute staring at me like that. I couldn't resist answering, so I just told him the truth.
"You looked mad when I proposed moving in with you today and I-I know you don't want me intruding your personal space, and I know it was presumptuous of me to think you'd be okay with me asking to move in. And it's alright if you're still in a relationship, I know it was sudden and I probably should not have signed the agr—-". I was cut short by the pissed look on his face, he looked like I had just stabbed him in his most vulnerable spot, and to be honest, I felt a pang of hurt in my heart knowing I was the reason he looked so upset.
"Love, first of, I'm not mad at you, and I don't think I can ever stay mad at you, and why I looked mad was because I couldn't fathom how you had no place to stay, it hurt me to think I could have reached out to you sooner and I didn't, I was mad at myself. And no, I am not in any other relationship than the one I have with you now, I've never been in any other relationship and I already told you the moment you agreed to be my wife that I'll be your husband for the rest of our lives. I don't plan on reneging on that vow.
And I'm more than happy to have you in my personal space, hell, there's no personal space for me when it comes to you, baby." He explained, his eyes willing me to trust him.
I feel so overwhelmed, this man who has no obligation to care about my feelings and yet, he still ensures that there are no misgivings between us. He's opening up himself to me and it feels so heartwarming. If I thought my parents made a mistake when they agreed to marrying me to him before, I'm glad now, because this is obviously a blessing, one that I'll ever learn to cherish.
Right then and there, my heart opened up to allow this man, my husband, in. I leaned into him and hugged his neck trying not to burst into tears, "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself from thinking the worst, I thought you didn't want me and that you only wanted the betrothal, I'm sorry I thought the worst", I said into his neck. Though muffled, he heard what I said and hugged me back even tighter, I was feeling even clingy after he did that.
"As much as I'd love to hold you for the rest of today, I think you'd want us to get your things so you can move in even faster, right love?" He said after about half and hour had gone by of us cuddling. He was right. I didn't want to get up, it felt strange yet right, how comfortable I was in his arms.
"I don't have so many things many of them are at the café, though I'd love to get some things that matter to me, I don't wanna get up though, you're comfy", I said, I didn't even realize I was acting coquettishly. He chuckled and rubbed my head.
"Guess I'd have to carry you then!" He adjusted and walked us out of the office.