•Among thousands of words, there's i and me—and i between us, disappointment... a disappointment as vast as the sky.
Malek: Disappointment? Don't call it that. Be honest, it's the end. You ended the moment you lost.
•Maybe… maybe I did. Why do I even try? Everything is against me, even you.
Malek: Finally, you're speaking sensibly. There's no point, . There's no light, no peace—only this emptiness.
•But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you… but where is the good? I don't see it.
Malek: You won't see it. The good isn't for you. You're just trying to deceive yourself, wearing the mask of faith while inside, you're broken.
•Because all I have is this mask. What else can I do?
Malek: Nothing. Surrender, . Close your eyes and let the pain consume you.
•"Inna ma'al usri yusra"{Surah Ash-Sharh (94:6)}… I keep saying it just to feel like I haven't lost everything.
Malek: And you know it's just words. How many times have you repeated it, and nothing changed? How many times have you sought help and heard only silence?
•It's as if I'm trapped in an oppressive silence.
Malek: Because you are. No one hears you. No one cares.
• Not even God?
Malek: Not even God.
•"La tahzan inna Allaha ma'ana"{Surah At-Tawbah (9:40)}… but I'm grieving. Grieving to the point of suffocation.
Malek: Then admit it. Admit you're alone, that all this faith is nothing but a failed attempt to escape your reality.
•Escape… yes, I'm escaping. I don't have the courage to face what I am.
Malek: There you said it. You are nothing, . Just the remnants of a person trying to convince themselves they deserve more.
•Maybe I don't deserve… maybe I'm exactly as you say.
Malek: Then why continue? Why not end it all?
•Because I'm a coward… or maybe because I don't know how to surrender completely.
Malek: Haha, a coward? No, you're just a lost soul. And you know that being lost is the end.
•The end… maybe.
Malek: No maybe, . This is the truth. You don't belong here or anywhere else.
•You're right.
Malek: Of course, I'm right. Now, just let everything collapse.
•I don't need to do anything… because it's already collapsed.
Malek: Good… that's how it should be. And i am you shadow...
•But if you're my shadow, why can't you be the light? Why won't you lead me out of this mire?
Malek: Because I'm not here to lead you anymore, . I'm here to remind you who you are… and who you're not.
•"Al-Rabb noori wa khalasi, mimman akhaf?Al-Rabb hisn hayati, mimman artaa'b?" {(Psalm 27:1)…} I repeat it as if it's a lifeline, but the drowning is deeper than these verses describe.
Malek: Do you think sacred words will save you? Don't confuse calling out with being rescued. You're still stuck, not because you're broken, but because you chose the breaking.
•Chose? No one chooses pain. "Min al-diq da'awtu al-Rabb; fa-ajaabani al-Rabb wa awsa'ani" {(Psalm 118:5)…} But where is the answer?
Malek: Answers come to those who deserve them. And you? You barely move under the weight of your fear. You're a slave to sorrow.
•Sorrow? Sorrow is no longer a feeling—it's a homeland.
Malek: Your homeland? How pitiful. How many times did you think you belonged? Haven't you realized the world rejects people like you?
•Maybe I'm rejected, but Christ said: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first" {(John 15:18)....} Does that mean I'm walking his path?
Malek: Or maybe it means you're entirely alone, as he was… but the difference is, he was strong. And you? You're weak, lost , one half seeking salvation, the other craving ruin.
• I'm searching for something I don't understand. Something beyond words, beyond this conversation.
Malek: You're searching for a mirage, . "He restores my soul; he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake"{ (Psalm 23:3)…}But you're not in a valley; you're in an abyss.
•Perhaps the abyss is a place of purification, my dear voice. Didn't the Lord say: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4)?
Malek: Blessed ? Haha, and where is your comfort? You're building bridges out of words you no longer believe.
•Words aren't bridges; they're shards. I arrange them to shelter myself from the flood.
Malek: The flood? Haven't you realized it's coming from within you?
•From within? Inside me is war. And ""Yuharib al-Rabb 'aamalek min jilin ila jilin." {(Exodus 17:16).}
Malek: But you're not Moses, nor are you fit for that battle.
•Maybe not, but I remain a human burdened by my questions, even if the answers lie somewhere I can't reach.
Malek: Or maybe there are no answers at all. Just an endless cycle of searching.
•And if that's the case, I'll keep searching. Because silence means death, and I'm still hurting. And pain? Pain is proof that I'm alive.
Malek: Then stay, . Stay in the shadow, stay in your pain, because light isn't for everyone, nor is peace.
•And if the light isn't for me, I'll burn in my pursuit of it… because fire is better than ice.
Malek: Excellent, then burn. But remember, in the end, all you'll find is your ashes.
•And ashes… perhaps they're the beginning
Malek: The beginning? Haha, you make me laugh. When has ash ever been the seed of something new? Ash is the end, Malek. It's the seal on a page that will never be opened again.
•Ash is a testament that the fire was here, and that something happened, even if it was painful. Didn't Job say: "Here I am, instead of the voice I cry with my complaints, and I pour out without restraint because of my pain" (Job 3:24)? The wounds may be silent, but they don't deny the truth.
Malek: Wounds? Truth? The truth is that you run to words you don't understand, hiding behind glories that don't belong to you. Who are you to scream? Who are you to speak of light?
•I am nothing... but even nothing seeks a place to prove its existence. Even shadows need light to be seen.
Malek: You seek the light? You won't find it. You've extinguished every candle, one by one, with your own hands.
•Candles burn to give us light. Maybe I extinguished them, but I saw a path in their glow before they went out.
Malek: Glow? Haha, illusion, that's all you've seen. Everything you believed was a fantasy built on a sick desire to survive.
And what's wrong with that? Didn't David say: "I bent my knee, and my soul bowed down within me" (Psalm 42:5)? To be sick with desire is better than to be dead from indifference.
Malek: And you think desire alone is enough? Desire without power destroys its possessor, turning them into a shadow that no one sees.
•But shadows know the light, even if they don't touch it.
Malek: Your words are too poetic, but they're meaningless. The light will not reach out to you. Do you think you are different? Do you think you're important enough to be seen?
• I know I'm not different, and I'm not important... but I'm here, and the silence I live is a scream that will only be heard someday.
Malek: Someday? What hope is this that you cling to?
•A different kind of hope, an inexplicable hope… "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity in their hearts" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Maybe I won't understand, maybe I won't reach it, but it's enough to search.
Malek: And you think this search will bring you peace?
•No, it won't bring me peace… but it gives me movement. And movement alone is enough to keep me from drowning.
Malek: Then search, Latef, search until you collapse, because what you think is life is nothing but a longer path toward your death.
•And maybe death itself is a birth. Didn't He say: "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces much grain" (John 12:24)?
Malek: Or maybe the grain dies, and nothing happens. Not everything has meaning.
•Even absurdity has meaning... because it pushes me to search for its opposite. You may be my shadow, but I know that shadows only exist in the presence of light.
Malek: Haha, you think you've won? Remember this, Latef, At the end of every journey, there is a door that will not open, and a question with no answer.
•And maybe I am the key... and maybe I am the answer.
Malek: so what is the answer? hahahahaa
•let's play a game...