"My Lady! My Lady!"
The chirpy voice of Lila rang in my ears as I stared at the stars in the night sky outside the window.
"What is it, Lily?"
"My Lady, I'm starting to think you're calling me Lily on purpose. My name is Lila, My Lady. You need to get ready for the ball. We have to make Countess Emeralda lose to our lady in every way."
A small smile made it's way to my lips as I watched Lila's face brim with enthusiasm.
Countess Esmeralda.
The heroine. The one Kael is supposed to love.
Yeah.
The start of the story... The ball is so close and all I can think about is Kael's lips against my forehead. What kind of witchcraft has he practiced on me? What kind of heart do I have that is ready to jump into the valley of love again despite being betrayed once?
"No need. I'll go a little late and come early. Just dress me moderately." I sighed as my lost gaze once again turned towards the glossy window.
"My Lady, you can't be serious," Lila said, her brows furrowing deeply as her hands tightened around the fabric of her apron.
"Moderately? Late? Do you realize what kind of gossip that would stir? The Countess would seize the chance to paint you as... as indifferent! Everyone will! They just look for a chance to criticise you. Even in the dukedom. I haven't been with you for long a day or two at most but I can tell, My Lady. You have a good heart."
Good heart, huh? What's the point of that heart if you can't have the person you love?
"Indifferent," I echoed softly, the word leaving a bitter taste on my tongue. "Let her... the people think what they want, Lila. It doesn't matter to me."
Why do I feel so tired? Is this how Evelina used to actually feel about social gatherings? But, didn't she like to make a fuss for these parties and balls and dresses?
Why is everything getting more confusing with each step
"It does matter!" Lila huffed, stomping closer to me. "You're the Duke's daughter, the talk of every ballroom. You can't let Countess Esmeralda outshine you... especially when Lord Kael will be watching. You two seem close, My Lady."
Kael.
The name lingered in the air, as though it carried a weight heavy enough to suffocate the room. My chest tightened, and I hated how it still happened. The thought of him shouldn't have the power to crush me like this.
It's just a fictional character, Ji-eun. Get yourself together.
This world is made for Esme to shine. She is the female lead.
I should focus on how to get myself to enjoy a peaceful life after the ball.
"My Lady," Lila said again, her voice quieter this time, almost pleading. "If you let her have this moment, she'll take more. The Countess has a reputation of making even taken men turn their heads for her. Pardon me. But, I think you're far better in comparison of her, My Lady. There's a difference in actually being pure and faking purity, My Lady."
"You haven't even met her, Lily."
"I have, My Lady. I was fired after being whipped 23 times for breaking a teacup that could have been bought in any store for 2 silver. On the other hand, My Lady, you treat me as if I'm your equal... your friend when I'm just a lowly maid --whom you didn't know 2 days ago."
Lila's confession made my blood run cold. The cute, soft-hearted female lead asked for someone to be whipped?
I mean I understand Evelina was killed by her crazy lover. But, she's crazy herself?
These f**kers have completely ruined my best-selling story to shreds.
Ugh! I need to go back home. I can't live between so much drama. Truck-kun, come and take me back. This headache just seems to get worse.
My eyes were locked aat Lila as her words echoed in my mind while her fragile frame trembled from the flashbacks. My chest felt heavy, a dull ache forming at the back of my skull.
The heroine. The Countess Esmeralda.
Whipping a maid over a teacup? My teeth clenched, and for a moment, I couldn't tell if it was anger or disbelief that boiled beneath my skin.
That wasn't the Esme I wrote.
That wasn't the pure-hearted heroine who was supposed to win Kael's and Adrian's love through kindness and grace.
Then, who is it?
"Lila..." My voice came out quieter than I intended, laced with hesitation. "Are you absolutely sure? The Countess herself ordered it?"
Lila nodded, her lips pressing into a thin line. "Yes, My Lady. It wasn't just me either. There were others who suffered worse. But the Countess knows how to hide her claws well when the nobles are watching. The county is a mess."
I sank back into my seat, the weight of her revelation pressing down on me like a mountain. This wasn't right.
None of this was right.
Was this even my story anymore? Or had this world twisted itself into something unrecognizable while I wasn't looking?
The faint reflection of my face in the window stared back at me, pale and drawn.
If Esme wasn't the perfect, untouchable heroine anymore... if she had claws hidden beneath that soft, angelic exterior... then what did that make me?
What did that make of Evelina? Was she born a villain or made into one?
"Get me ready, Lily. Something moderate not too flashy and yet elegant. No one touches my personal maid."
Lila's wide eyes shimmered as she bowed quickly, her movements clumsy in her rush. "Y-Yes, My Lady! I'll make sure you look perfect. Countess Esmeralda won't know what hit her."
Pfft this girl. Kael...
Lila hurried out, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My new reflection in the glass stared back at me, its pale features twisting with emotions I couldn't quite place.
Who knew so much could change in a short amount of time?
Why... Han Wei...
I sighed, leaning my forehead against the cool glass. The stars seemed farther away tonight, their light dim and distant.
This world... my world... was slipping through my fingers, changing in ways I hadn't anticipated.
Honestly, I don't even care anymore. I just wish this unknown longing that lingers within me vanishes.
Esmeralda was no heroine. Evelina wasn't just a villain. And I... I wasn't sure where I fit anymore.
Ji-eun... Evelina...
Just who am I anymore? Should I forget everything of past and move forward?
If so... Then, why do I remember everything?
"My Lady! This dress is perfect!"