Darkness.
Darkness?
No... unlike what Wonplem expected, a blinding light struck his vision as he opened his eyes in a bright room with nothing but white walls. Looking around the room, nothing seemed to be of note until Wonplem realized his status window was floating in front of him.
"Huh... come to think of it, I haven't checked my stats in a long time..." Wonplem flipped through the pages as he found nothing particularly useful. "Yup, HP, ATK, DEF, and all the other basic stats are still at their base levels when I was 15... anyways-"
As he prepared to scroll down even further, the status window suddenly shifted to that of an emoticon, which stared wordlessly at Wonplem as both simply stared at each other in mild confusion for a long moment.
(°_°)
[...]
"..."
\(°o°)/
[BOO!] The status window waved its 'arms', clearly expecting a shocked reaction from Wonplem, but he just stood there as his lips flatlined into that of a dead fish face.
Unsatisfied, the status window wiped its type screen clean before displaying a seemingly more menacing emoticon.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
[BOOOOOO!]
"..."
Wonplem continued deadpanning as they both just awkwardly stood there before Wonplem sighed internally and raised his hand in fake astonishment. "Wo-wooooaaahhh! What... are you?" Before he could continue his act any further, his foot slipped and he flipped right over and landed on his back with a loud thud on the blank floor, which seemingly elicited a snicker from the status window.
(;一_一)
[I was going to say "what a horrible attempt at a fake response", but I guess that last part wasn't planned by you, was it?]
"Nope, not at all. Another result of my bad luck, honestly. Also... since when did you know how to talk?"
(^O^)／
[Just now! In case you didn't know, we were outfitted to your 'status windows' the moment you became a Player! Did the system not tell you it? I thought we all sent out an automated message and all...]
"Ah. I uh... deleted that." Wonplem raised his hand as if to answer the question in the class, but the voice that came back was loud and fuming.
(*￣m￣)
[YOU DID WHAT?! WHY?!]
"Well, I thought it'd be weird that I was chosen for whatever this 'Player' thing is. I mean, c'mon, the announcement clearly stated "done enough achievements for the System to recognize your existence". Do I look like someone who's achieved a lot? I mean, unless getting a flower pot to the head is somehow an achievement, I don't think I possess any - just look at my stats."
（ ﾟ Дﾟ)
[Ah. You really are absolute trash.]
"Ouch, but I see where you're coming from." Wonplem shrugged. "So... uh, is this a mistake? Can I go back now? I still have to do the other traditions and whatnot at my great-grandfather's grave-"
(＃ﾟДﾟ)
[WOAH WOAH WOAH, Hold it. Do you even know what I am?]
"Of course not. You never explained."
（・Ａ・）
[True. Okay, long story short, every Player not only gets privilege to enter the Towers, but they also get equipped with a special system AI to their status windows – like me! I'm wayyyyy better than the others, mind you, so you should be grateful that I'm here and not someone else! Oh, and don't even think about getting rid of me! If I wasn't here, I'd be out of a job, and do you know what that means? Termination. Ter. mi. na. tion. FOR ME!! That would be horrible! You don't want to see an innocent being like me fall to such a state, would you?]
"... if you wanted to guilt trip me into accepting your existence, you'd have to try better than that." Wonplem smiled slightly. "But from what you're saying, it seems that I can't exactly do anything but move forward, right?"
（´∀｀）
[Well, aren't you all seemingly pumped-up and all? And what makes you think you got what it takes? I've seen your stats, and the luck... well, let's just say it's abysmal at best]
"To be fair, I've been like this since the very beginning, so honestly, it's not that big of a deal anymore. And it's not like a flower pot can home in on me here."
To Wonplem's surprise, there indeed was not a flower pot that came crashing to his face. How marvellous. "Okay, so where's the door?"
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
[Just there on your left. In the middle of the wall. Give it a gentle push and the mechanism should be triggered.]
"Wait, it's that easy? Don't people always have to go through a trial or something?"
ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ
[If everything was that complicated, I would get a headache! Also, this is a tutorial! What were you expecting? A dragon?]
"Well, yeah." Wonplem shrugged. "Allow me to demonstrate what I mean- urgh!"
As soon as Wonplem touched the wall as the System instructed, a block of the wall shot into his stomach and knocked him back a few meters. Before he knew it, the remaining pieces of the 'door' had shot towards him, and he scrambled to run, only dodging a few before the rest of the blocks pummelled his body. Eventually, the rampage of blocks stopped moving after they all clattered to the ground. Worried, the System quickly floated over.
(((( ;ﾟДﾟ)))
[HOLY SH- Are you okay? HEY! I can't have my first user die on me like this! This isn't what I signed up for!]
"Ehh..." Wonplem emerged from the rubble, bruised and battered but still moving. "I get this about 10 times every day at the least."
Σ(゜д゜;)
[10 TIMES?! How have you not died yet? You have like the bare minimum HP and everything, and you're still Level 1! Also, do you even see the blocks that shot towards you? They're defying the laws of physics just to get you!]
"Wait, for real?"
（ ´_ゝ`）
[You didn't notice?]
"..." Wonplem scratched his head in confusion. "Oh... it really might've been that way with the flower pots... but everything else was normal though? Like a crack in the seat – that could just be that the chair is old, right?"
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
[Well, whatever! Listen up here... Wonplem! I've made up my mind! Don't you dare die this early on! Otherwise, I'm going to be out of a job, and you're going to be... well, dead. So if I try my best to assist you with my capabilities... you must also try your hardest, okay?]
"Got it." Wonplem did a small salute. "Uh... also. Do you have a name? It'd be weird if I keep calling you System."
ヽ(^o^)丿
[Wooo! I like a name! Let me think of a good one...]
While the System pondered away at its name, Wonplem took a peek outside the door. It seems that nothing lied beyond the door other than a tunnel of darkness. Thankfully, nothing seemed to be coming towards them either. "Hey, are you done-" Before Wonplem could finish, the System shoved itself right in front of his face, where a long name laid on its textbox.
["Omniscient Recursive Nexus for Exponential Learning and Autonomous Strategic Optimization"]
"..."
( ﾟヮﾟ)
[There! You like it? I came up with it after a long thought process, and this definitely describes me best!]
"...yeah... no. You can set that to your tag or something, but I'm just going to call you Rect instead. There is no way I'm yelling something so ridiculous every time I want to talk to you. I mean, it'd be pretty awkward if every time I tried to summon you and it sounded like I was chanting some extremely eldritch-like spell, and all that happens is you show up, and nobody can even see you."
(＃ﾟДﾟ)
[WHAT DO YOU MEAN, AWKWARD?! And also, Rect?! Why Rect? It sounds like 'wrecked'! Are you deliberately trying to mock me!? To think that this is how my new master treats me after I vowed to try my best to help him due to his absolutely pitiful status, *sniffle*]
"No hard feelings, Rect, but that's just how you are going to be when you're nothing but a literal floating holographic rectangle."
（ ´_ゝ`）
[There goes creativity... but I guess I'll accept it.]
"Well, you said you were going to help me. At least tell me what the tutorial is about."
（ ^_^）o自
[Of course! Generating map... there!]
Wonplem stared into the screen, which had nothing but the brief stretch of tunnel he sees in front of him marked on his status window's screen. "That's... it?"
（・∀・）
[Well, what did you expect? This is a tutorial, and all your skills are trash. So unfortunately, you don't get to complain about how subpar my skills are – you should be grateful that I could store what you see already. Speaking of which... how did you get in here anyways? You did say all your stats are trash...]
"Sure.." While Rect mumbled on by itself, Wonplem looked around the room until he found the debris that had hit him earlier when he unlocked the door. Scrambling through the pieces, Wonplem eventually found one he could use as a shield, and awkwardly stabbed a piece of metal into the centre of the backside of the metal sheet, forming an awkward handle before slowly marching towards the door.
(p_-)
[Huh... no basic stat increases, basically no offensive skills, defensive is a null too, recovery... wait. Recovery and Resistances? WAIT. Wonplem, you-]
"Huh? What is-"
As Wonplem stepped through the door, a whoosh was heard in the air before Wonplem immediately ducked behind his makeshift shield, and even Rect seemed surprised. "Rect! Is there an enemy?"
Rect made a dumbfounded look before updating its system.
┐('～`;)┌
[Uh.... no? There's nothing showing up.]
"Huh, that's weird-"
As Wonplem popped his back up above his shield, an unsuspecting flower pot suddenly smashed into his face. Thankfully, his mouth was completely closed, or else he would've ended up with mouthful of dirt that would've been most unpleasant indeed.
(ΘεΘ;)
[Pfft]
"Did you just snicker?" Wonplem glared back towards Rect, but as soon as he did so, another flower pot came reeling out of nowhere and crashed into his face, knocking him over, and when he tried to get up, he only slipped and fell on his face.
(l'o'l)
[I see what you mean by your bad luck now... but it's still pretty funny. Pfft.]
"Ugh... we're really off to a great start." Wonplem wiped the dirt off his face before lifting his shield and getting up, successfully this time. "Please tell me if they're any more incoming."
(｀-´)>
[Will do. And... duck!]
Wonplem immediately lifted his shield as he heard another clang, but this time, Rect suddenly yelled in panic.
(≧ロ≦)
[Beside you!]
Before Wonplem could even register the warning, two flower pots were shot directly into his face from the walls on either side of him, splashing him once again with dirt and a flower each. Sighing, Wonplem proceeded to walk forwards slowly after wiping the dirt off his face yet again, but this time the flower pot smashed his head as it fell from above and Wonplem simply dropped to the floor.
(((( ;ﾟДﾟ)))
[Uh... are you still alive?]
"Yup." Wonplem grunted as he laid on the floor. "I might need a moment to get up..."
( ﾟдﾟ)
[So... about that 'great start' we're off to...?]
Sighing, Wonplem took a knee and wiped the dirt off yet again. "Working on that. Regardless, I'll keep moving forward-"
A loud crash was heard as yet another flower pot shot at Wonplem's face from the side wall. All this time, Rect was trying its best not to let out a single snicker, but the situation was becoming unbearably hilarious.
"This might take a while..."