There was silence in the prince's bedroom. One could probably even hear a feather falling to the floor.
For a long time, neither Prince Arian nor his maid spoke.
While the prince's posture was determined, his maid sunk together. She lowered her head while the fidgeting with her fingers became more intense.
In the end, Marie hesitantly raised her head.
There was only one word that left her lips. A quiet but baffled "Why?"
The prince needed a moment before he reacted. He shrugged his shoulders, seemingly nonchalantly.
"Isn't it obvious? It's the best for all of us. For me, my wife, father and siblings- even for the possible child."
Then he suddenly laughed. "After all, who would want a disgrace like me as a father?"
"Arian, don't say such a thing!", Marie immediately retorted. She even wanted to continue cheering up the prince, but when she saw Arian's heavy expression, she stopped.
"You know it's true. I once was the crown prince, but now... now I'm a cripple and exiled to such a place."
Arian's spiteful voice trembled as he once again had to say his terrible fate out loud.
He remembered how wonderful his life had been almost a year ago.
Back then, everything was still okay. Among his siblings, he had the best degree in his studies and was bonded with the strongest beast.
He was an adviser next to his father's side, being allowed to attend the most prestigious and renowned gatherings. Other nobles welcomed him with warm smiles into their circle, everyone met him with reverence and he had a huge friend group.
He was the future of the empire- no wonder there were a lot of women who wanted to become his wife.
To their dismay, Arian wasn't interested in marriage at all. While most nobles married as early as sixteen to secure political benefits for their family, Arian managed to doge such a fate. Due to his skills and his father's favor he managed to postpone his marriage until he turned twenty-two.
Like it was the custom with every noble marriage, neither Arian nor his wife had a say in who they wanted to marry. Their family decided it for them.
When Arian went in front of the altar, he had only met his wife two times beforehand and he merely knew three things about her:
Her name was Emilia Yasir.
She was one year younger than him.
She came from the most influential family in newly conquered territory.
Back then Arian had fulfilled his duties, as custom commanded, and had taken her to bed without much thought.
It had been the only time Arian had gotten intimate with her. Since he wasn't fond of her and he had fulfilled his duty, he attended to more important matters.
He hadn't worried much about getting a child. If his wife truly got pregnant and bore him a child, he most likely wouldn't take care of it, anyway. Instead, his wife together with plenty of nannies would tend to the child.
When he was little, it hadn't been any different, so Arian wasn't worried about the matter.
But then my incident happened and everything changed, Arain couldn't contain his emotions as he recalled that faithful day.
He still felt the pain of betrayal and of the realization, he was paraplegic, thus not able to ever walk again.
After that day, the happy, positive Arian was gone.
Since that fateful incident, he had never been the same.
Instead, he walked closer to despair with each day. His three suicide attempts were a testament to it.
"Before my disability, I had enough power and status to ensure my child's safety. But now I can't, and you know that for a helpless royal, not sufficient protection means certain death. I don't need to remind you of my twelve power-hungry siblings," Arian said determined, hoping Marie would understand him.
"Besides, I'm mentally unstable. Don't you think it's irresponsible to get a child when I'm in such a state?"
Arian might be a loser, someone whose only way out of a predicament was to kill himself, but he at least possessed the necessary self-reflection to realize this was highly problematic.
I can't even take care of myself. What will my child think of me, when it finds out I attempted suicide?, Arian thought.
Worse even, what if I succeed, am dead, and my child learns of my sin?
How embarrassing and painful must such a revelation be for it? The society will reject it.
Even though my child has done nothing wrong, it will have to pay for the sins of its father.
Arian couldn't help but laugh. Ahh, this world is truly unfair.
Marie gave him a worried look.
"How can you laugh about such a serious topic?", she asked- more directed towards herself than to Arian.
"You know, my prince- I think it would be best for you to talk about your mental state. If you are not comfortable with me, then look for someone else. We are at a school, surely there is someone with a deep knowledge of psychology. Maybe this academy even has a psychologist."
Arian snorted. "With the state this school is in, I doubt they have someone who could help me. No one can. You're all not in my situation and I'm not good at expressing my feelings. It won't work."
He paused shortly before repeating his request. "I truly think it is the best course of action to deal with my possible child now."
Since it's only a fetus, in a stage where you could argue it isn't even human yet, he added inwardly. Arian knew once the child was born, he couldn't bring himself to kill it. Neither could he bear the responsibility that came with having an offspring.
Arian watched his maid closely, as she contemplated his words.
When she finally answered him, she sounded unsure and slightly frightened.
"I- I can't accept this mission. You ask me to kill someone. And that someone is even royalty. I'm sorry my prince. But I cannot reconcile this with my morals. I am a maidservant after all, not an assassin."
"You don't have to do anything personally. You only have to send out your beast to inquire about my wife's situation. If she isn't pregnant nothing will happen."
Marie's expression remained doubtful, so Arian continued to explain.
"And even if she is pregnant, maybe she isn't happy about it too. I mean, since we didn't know each other beforehand, the only reason she married me was because of my status. With that gone now, there is nothing for my child to inherit. For her, it would be more beneficial to divorce and marry someone else- one who isn't exiled from society. In such a situation, not having a child would be more advantageous."
Marie raised an eyebrow in doubt. Arian continued to persuade her.
"I think if you talk with her about it, she would even agree. Remember, it is only a fetus. It will go away with a simple potion."
"You're only saying this to lessen your own guilt. You know it's wrong, too. Just because you have a problem, you don't have to make it everyone else's problem."
Maries expression hardened and Arian realized she had made a decision.
"Again, I am sorry my prince. But I will not help you. If I'm honest, I'm even quite disgusted that you think about something like this."
Now it was Arian's time to fidget with his fingers.
Of course, it felt wrong, of course, he felt dirty.
But nevertheless, he believed it had to be done."I know, but don't you understand my situation?"
"I am very well aware of your whereabouts. But that doesn't justify you killing innocents!", Marie said forcefully. "Especially when the one is your own child. You can even-"
"But don't you understand how uncertain my future as well as the one of my wife is?", Arian abruptly interrupted her. His voice was louder than usual and there was even a hint of anger.
Yet Marie seemed like she couldn't be swayed anymore.
She jumped up and went directly before Arian. With a cold gaze, she stared down at the prince sitting in his wheelchair. Her breathing was heavy as she tried to suppress her rage, in order to appear not too impolite.
"You can punish me for disobeying your orders, but it is wrong for you to want the child dead."
With these words, she turned around and headed for the door.
She ignored the pleading gaze from her prince and pretended like she didn't hear his quiet: "Marie, please help me."
Infront of the door she paused, almost like she expected the prince to call her back, but when nothing came, she left without turning around.
If she had, she would have seen tears running down Prince Arian's face.