I, Jess, momentarily dozed off until a voice jolted me awake from my relaxed slumber.
"Loaded 94.555...3%: Avatar customisation menu is almost ready. Rotation feature enabled."
As his eyes slowly adjusted upon awakening, his vision still blurred and gradually adapting to the VR environment, he groaned, "Couldn't you have alerted me when it was fully finished?"
I paused, glancing at my avatar on the screen, but the outfit had yet to load. My eyes remained fixated on my avatar, and a sense of lust began to overwhelm me. I cast a quick glance at the progress indicator, showing "97.556655.44% complete."
I said loudly, "How can I stop it?!"
"98.5%"
"Stop!" I cried out.
The orc's voice soothed, "Just hold tight for 5 more seconds, my lady, and the avatar customisation menu with me will be ready for you. Once it is loaded, you may exit it."
"99.5%..."
How could I halt this monstrously advanced, mind-bogglingly powerful, hyper-advanced, ultra-sophisticated VR supercomputer and force it to stop this operation?
"99.6% loaded complete."
"I know! Let's see if you can handle this!"
I typed quickly, my fingers twitching like a pianist playing the air-piano or someone conjuring spooky fingers:
cd \doom_directory doom.exe
"See if you can handle running Doom!"
Instantly, the operation came to a halt, and Jess smiled. I knew not many systems could handle such a game. I was now at the avatar rotation page and started to rotate my personal avatar, grinning.
"I am so happy, her... I mean, my outfit didn't have time to load, allowing me to fully revel in and appreciate perfection in its raw state, untouched by digital constraints."
I zoomed in and messed with the rotation tool, just getting the hang of it. I grinned mischievously and thought out loud, "I'm really starting to like VR now."
In the midst of rotating and zooming, a big, fat green orc face jumped in front of my vision, obscuring my view of the avatar. Delivering a loud message, like a Shrek jump scare from hell: "Captain Howdy, my lady!"
"Aeghh!!" I squealed.
The orc continued its automated diatribe:
"A Doom game has been terminated..."
"We suspect Anita Bath..."
"It seems a student is favouring traditional video games over immersive VR experiences or neglecting to use Academy time efficiently by disregarding their phones or eBunnee. Punishment for playing video games without live-streaming on eBunnee or using Academy time to play games while not live-streaming on eBunnee will be severe!"
"Anita Bath, did he say? Man, I feel bad; the girl's going to catch flak for something I did. Ah, whatever," I thought, shrugging it off with a careless grin.
The orc, reverting to its original, somewhat annoying, hapless tone, declared, "Your outfit and avatar are now complete, my lady! You are now prepared to embark on your journey and face the challenges ahead!"
The menus had vanished, snatching away the moment as I was enjoying the view. Now, I found myself back in the slime-filled world, surveying the outfit I was wearing—the mint-green Sugar Plum Fairy dress I had initially started with, before the orc had dragged me through endless menus. "So after all that, I just get the original outfit I got again?!" I sighed. Yet, amidst the annoyance, I managed to squeeze out a bit of enjoyment. With the big bazooka still firmly in my grasp, I was ready to take on whatever came my way. "Let's make some progress now."
I looked around at all the various slime pillars and slime pits scattered everywhere, and on the slabs I walked on, slime was seeping around. I heard lots of voices all around; some easy prey caught my attention ahead.
"Free exp for me!" I stumbled forward and toppled over in the heels my avatar was wearing. The bazooka tumbled out of my hand and went splat, landing right inside a big goo pillar, but it just stuck there. A massive tonne of weight remained suspended in the air, as if it were flying.
Knowing that people were watching me through the main camera hidden behind the sun, I laughed and smiled at the main VR camera so all the viewers could see me. However, I regretted it when the sun's rays burnt into my retinas. I quickly turned my head away, blinking to regain my vision, and then I acted like everything was going according to plan. It was surprising that even a virtual yellow light could hurt your eyes like in real life. It felt like an unnecessary step in technological evolution, if you asked me. They could have just thrown a static JPG up there or something.
I didn't really want to know what my personal viewers were thinking. I updated my status, mentioning that my girlfriend would be playing on my account today for 'The Mask' event while I worked on a music project. I was worried about reading the comments, in case somebody had outed me and knew this was just me playing right now.
I lifted the bazooka onto my left shoulder and aimed it at a llama stuck in a slime pit, unable to climb out. It kept ramming into the wall of the goo pit. I got ready to pull the trigger when a bird landed on my shoulder. The bird was somewhat out of sync, landing directly in front of me, staring right into my face, with its beak almost touching my lips. I batted it away, saying, "Shoo! Get out of my face." This wasn't an enemy, so I couldn't hurt or damage it.
The bird squawked, "Awk! Awk! As a novice player struggling with tutorials and lacking experience, we balanced the game by assigning you a partner with a good aptitude to counteract your poor ineptitude. Awk! Awk! WAKK!"
Its beak was too close to my face; I could literally feel birdseed droppings falling from its beak into my mouth. I snapped it away to avoid it, then turned my head so they were no longer mouth-to-beak. The bird readjusted, trying to maintain eye contact with me, but it slipped and fell down the centre of my dress. I felt its claws scratching him as it tried to climb back up.
I was about to run torso-first into a stone pillar and make a bird splat-cake. The bird finished with, "We'll assign you the partner of Xinx... AWK... to help you succeed today. WAKK!"
Then the bird disappeared, leaving nothing but scratches, blood, and claw marks on me, along with scattered feathers, bird muck, and half-eaten seeds.
"Wait, m-my partner is Xinx?! My partner is bloody, blooming, bleeding, Xinx?!" Xinx: the most legendary fighter in all of VR, and on top of that, she was one of the most popular beings in all of eBunnee, with over a billion followers, that had to be counted by a human being daily to confirm accuracy. Now things were starting to heat up.
Xinx then appeared in front of me. Her figure was tall, slender, and powerful, with long, muscular legs and abs. She had an athletic build that indicated she could hold her own. She wore all-black, tight clothing that showed off her figure while also allowing for maximum manoeuvrability and eBunnee clout. Her face was sharp and fierce, lacking any emotion as I stared into her eyes. At her side was her trusty weapon of choice, the famously infamous Flexiblade Erector—a device renowned for its challenging nature in combat and its ability to keep foes at bay. Unlike conventional swords, whose lengths give away their reach, the Flexiblade could swiftly extend and strike with the agility and unpredictability of a striking viper, delivering lethal blows to vulnerable areas with unexpected speed and precision. This unique blade could bend and hit vulnerable areas with an unorthodox thrust, making it formidable in skilled hands.
I was delighted to have her on my team, sparing me from the need to hide from such a deadly opponent in the slime pits. Still, I also sensed the pressure to impress my new partner as Xinx stood idly by, her expression unreadable and ice-cold as she stared at me.
I swiftly hoisted the bazooka onto my shoulder and, without hesitation, fired it at the stranded llama in the slime pit.
The llama shattered into a million pixels, and then "2 EXP gained" appeared above both their heads. I smiled at this achievement, though I admitted it might have been a bit of overkill. That's what top-tier fighters do—we go all out and make a show of it.
Xinx remained unmoved, her gaze piercing Jess's soul like ice daggers; she didn't even blink or react.
Now I was worried. I doubted whether Xinx was on my side. So, I stepped back and checked my menu to confirm we were on the same side. I saw the word 'friend' in big letters and exited quickly before any more tutorial assistants came after me, like Clippy or Bonzi Buddy.
(•ω•)