I stand under the willow tree as I stare at the carving on the bark the kids and I did after Romero died. His date of birth and when he died with the words 'forever in our hearts.' And without even meaning to, my mind drifts back to the time when I was pregnant with Raya and Romero tried being romantic by setting up a picnic for us under this tree but it was so awkward that we just listened to the birds chirp as we ate. And Raya decided that was the first time to kick and immediately the awkwardness was gone, because then we clutched my belly as we fussed over our baby that's growing. Ever since then, this willow tree has been his favourite.
I close my eyes before saying "I'm sorry that I didn't take care of Junior when I promised I would. I know he's in a better place now. With you. But I can't help feeling empty" I wipe away the tear that slides down my cheek "I miss him. I miss you" I let out a humourless laugh and shake my head "I'm falling for Hayden. But you already knew that because I read your diary and you suspected it." I swallow "I did love you, Romero and I apologise for never telling you that when you were alive"
I hear footsteps approach before Raya stands next to me and I glance at her "You're ready?"
She's quiet for a moment before nodding and taking the knife, she turns to me "When was Romero Junior born again?" When I look at her in disbelief, she laughs "I'm joking, mother"
I laugh too as I watch her carve Junior's date of birth into the tree as well before passing me knife and I carve the date he died before asking "What do you think we should write?"
She stares at the carvings as she says softly "The king who never was"
My bottom lip quivers and I carve the words into the tree as well before we stand side by side and just take it in for a moment. I wrap an arm around her shoulders "If we win this war and I get to be Queen, you'll be my heir"
Her eyes snap to mine "But I'll need a King"
"No, you can have a King. You don't need one, there's a difference." I glance at her "People will think you're weak because you'll be a Queen without a King, that's a given. But you'll have to show them that the Queen is just as important as the fucken king"
She giggles at my cussing but nods "Of course. I'll show them exactly who parents are"
"That's my girl" I press a kiss to her head before we make our way back to the castle and I feel slightly better. I say "I can't believe you ratted me out to Sir Hayden about me crying and having nightmares"
She glances at me "I worry about you, mother."
"You don't have to, I'll be fine." She doesn't look like she believes me and I have this urge to convince her "I truly am, Raya. I just need some time"
"Of course"
Later that day I'm sitting in the office when Hayden walks in "Hey, beautiful"
I smile "Hey, handsome"
"I'm just letting you know that I handled the secret gate in the garden and every other access point. Nobody can enter or exit the castle other than using the main gate, which is guarded all the time"
I let out a heavy breath and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I stand up and approach him "Thank you, Hayd"
He raises an eyebrow as he wraps his arms around my waist "We doing nicknames now, are we?"
I hum "We are"
He chuckles and presses a kiss against my neck "Okay, Soph"
I smile "I like that"
"What? The kisses or the nickname?" He asks as he continues to pepper kisses on my neck
I tilt my head to give him better access "Both"
"Thought so" he grabs my thighs and I let out a sound of surprise as he puts me on the desk before stepping between my thighs and he wraps a hand around my throat as he kisses me.
If this was anyone else, I would've swatted their hand away but it's Hayden. I trust him. And that's why I kiss him back with the exact same passion and because I don't want him to change his mind, I undo his bleachers before taking his length into my hand. I'm getting turned on just by the feeling of him and he lets out a sound of approval as he deepens the kiss.
I start moving my hand on him at a slow pace before picking up speed and he groans into my mouth "Fuck yes, Sophia."
His words give me motivation and I continue what I'm doing "Like this?"
"Yes just like that. Fuck, don't stop" his breathing gets heavier and he starts thrusting his hips and I grip him harder before moving faster
He throws his head back as he moans but we startle at the knock at the door. I immediately let go of him "Shit, shit"
He tries to make himself look presentable while trying to hide his hard on and I hop off the desk before glancing at him "You good?"
He adjusts himself in his pants "Good"
I nod then glance at the door "Enter"
Simon enters and looks between us with narrowed eyes before saying "King Nicolas agreed to a meeting on Monday"
"That's good" Hayden says from behind me
"Good indeed. Thank you, Lord Simon."
"No problem at all, Your Grace" he glances between the two of us again before clearing his throat "Could I have a word with the Queen in private?"
Hayden doesn't make any move to leave and I give him a nod of reassurance, he heads to door and I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing when I see him trying to cover his erection with his hands. When he closes the door behind him, Simon says "That's not a good idea"
I raise an eyebrow "I do not know what you speak of"
"You and Sir Hayden. It will not only be scandalous but it could make people lose their loyalty for you."
"Nobody kno-"
"You're a queen" he cuts me off "If doesn't matter that nobody knows, someday everyone will know and it'll do more bad than good. The people of your kingdom expects you to be with someone of your class not some knight. Not to mention that Romero was my closest friend and you dare betray him like this?"
I grit my teeth "You done?"
He sighs "I'm just looking out for you, Sophia"
"First of all, never call me by my name. Address me by my title. And you never cut me off when I'm speaking." I step closer to him "I do know what is expected of me, so don't ever speak down on me like I'm some toddler who needs to learn manners." I jab a finger on his chest "You work for me now and if you don't like it then you can fucken leave."
He stares at me with wide eyes before muttering "I apologise"
"If you can disrespect me so clearly then you shall apologise just as clearly"
He clears his throat "I'm sorry, my Queen"
"Good. You may leave now" he bows before walking to the door but I say "Lord Simon?"
He pause and glance at me "Yes?"
"I've been faithful to Romero ever since I was 16 years of age, I never betrayed him. Not once"
He nods "Of course"
I watch as he leaves and closes the door before sighing heavily. Yeah, this is definitely going to blow up in my face someday.