Mallory slumped on the couch, glaring at the tablet as if it had personally betrayed her. Outside, a growing crowd of survivors milled about, chatting, shouting, and occasionally throwing rocks at the building's outer defenses to test their strength.
"They're like pigeons," she grumbled, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "Annoying, loud, and they just won't leave."
Alex chuckled from across the room, where they were meticulously cleaning their rifle. "You could just talk to them. Maybe explain the situation."
"Oh, sure," Mallory said, rolling her eyes. "Let me go out there and say, 'Hi, welcome to my high-tech zombie-proof paradise. No, you can't come in. Enjoy starving!' That'll go over great."
Before Alex could reply, the tablet chimed again. Mallory groaned, swiping it open.
New Notification: Unauthorized Entry Detected
"What now?" she muttered, pulling up the security feed.
The camera zoomed in on one of the outer fences, where a lanky man in tattered clothes was attempting to scale the barrier with the grace of a drunken sloth. He got halfway up before his pants caught on a jagged edge, leaving him dangling awkwardly.
Mallory burst out laughing. "Oh my god. Is he serious?"
Alex glanced at the screen and shook their head. "Looks like he's serious... but also terrible at this."
As the man struggled, a second figure—a woman with frizzy hair and mismatched shoes—ran up to help. She grabbed his foot and tried to push him upward, only for his pants to rip entirely. He tumbled down, landing in a heap with the woman falling on top of him.
Mallory couldn't breathe from laughing. "This is better than TV!"
Alex smirked. "I'll give them points for effort. Minus several for execution."
---
As the pair outside dusted themselves off, Mallory leaned back, her laughter subsiding. "Okay, I can't take this anymore. If I don't do something, they're going to keep this circus act going all day."
"What's the plan?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.
Mallory thought for a moment before a wicked grin spread across her face. "Time to give them a little scare."
She opened the tablet and tapped into the external sound system, activating the speakers hidden around the perimeter. Clearing her throat, she leaned into the microphone.
"ATTENTION, RANDOM HUMANS!" Mallory boomed, her voice echoing ominously outside.
The group froze, their eyes wide as they looked around for the source of the voice.
"You are trespassing on private property. This area is protected by advanced security measures, including, but not limited to, laser turrets, automated flamethrowers, and an army of very angry robot dogs."
"Robot dogs?" Alex mouthed, suppressing a laugh.
Mallory winked at them and continued. "If you value your lives—and your pants—I suggest you leave immediately."
Outside, the lanky man turned to the frizzy-haired woman. "Did she say laser turrets?!"
"I'm not sticking around to find out!" the woman shrieked, grabbing his arm and dragging him away.
The rest of the crowd began to scatter, their panicked shouts fading into the distance.
Mallory leaned back with a satisfied sigh. "And that's how you handle trespassers."
Alex shook their head, smiling. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."
---
Just as Mallory was settling back into her routine, the tablet chimed again.
"Seriously?" she groaned, snatching it up. "Can't I have five minutes of peace?"
This time, the notification read:
External Upgrade: Community Expansion Detected
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Mallory asked, frowning.
Alex came over to look at the screen. "Maybe your apartment's trying to tell you something."
As if on cue, the walls of the living room shimmered faintly, and a holographic blueprint appeared in midair. It depicted a new wing of the building, complete with several small rooms labeled "Guest Quarters."
Mallory stared at it, horrified. "No. Absolutely not. I didn't ask for this!"
Alex grinned. "Looks like your apartment has other plans."
"Nope!" Mallory snapped, waving her hands at the blueprint as if she could make it disappear. "I am not running some kind of apocalypse Airbnb!"
The tablet chimed again, displaying a cheerful message:
New Rooms Ready for Occupancy. Capacity: 10 Guests.
Mallory threw her head back and groaned. "Why is this happening to me?"
Alex clapped her on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Mallory. You're officially a landlord."
Despite Mallory's protests, the first group of survivors cautiously approached the building the next morning, led by none other than the lanky man and his frizzy-haired companion.
"This is a nightmare," Mallory muttered, watching them through the security feed.
Alex grinned. "Think of it this way: you're helping people."
"I don't want to help people!" Mallory snapped. "I want to eat snacks and take naps!"
Nevertheless, she reluctantly opened the external gate, allowing the group inside. They entered hesitantly, their eyes wide as they took in the sleek, futuristic interior of the new guest wing.
"Whoa," the lanky man said. "This place is amazing!"
Mallory crossed her arms, glaring at him. "Welcome to Mallory's Apocalypse Inn. Rules are simple: Don't touch my stuff, don't bother me, and absolutely no climbing fences."
The man turned bright red, tugging at his patched-up pants. "Uh… got it."
The frizzy-haired woman stepped forward, smiling nervously. "Thank you for letting us in. We were really desperate out there."
Mallory sighed, rubbing her temples. "Yeah, yeah. Just don't make me regret it."
As the group settled into their rooms, Alex turned to Mallory with a smug expression. "See? That wasn't so bad."
Mallory glared at them. "Don't push it. I'm one spilled drink away from kicking them all out."
But as she watched the survivors relax and share stories in the common area, a small part of her couldn't help but feel… okay about it. Not that she'd ever admit it out loud.
---
To Be Continued...