IRIS' POV
Everything began to change soon after the wedding. Julian became very cold and
distant. He began to spend more time at work and when he came home, he slept in a
guest room and not the room we shared.
It was as though the Julian that had courted me and the man I had married ceased to
exist. He was now cold. Whenever I spoke, he brushed me aside and it hurt a lot. I spent most nights wondering where it had all gone wrong, how everything had gone from being rosy to being a total mess. I missed him, but I was beginning to resent him.
One night I stayed up to wait for him to get back from work so I could confront him
about how he had been acting. I had never been a confrontational person, I usually
avoided situations like this, but I was married to the man, and I knew if I didn't know what was going on I would just lose my mind thinking about it.
It was well past midnight when I heard him coming up the stairs. I got out of my bed
and opened the door just as he had gotten to the top floor.
"Hello." I greeted him.
"Hey." He muttered in his usual cool tone and was about to walk past me to his
bedroom when I stopped him.
"I am sorry to bother you, but we need to talk," I said strongly.
He had a bored expression on his face. "Can't this wait till tomorrow? I have just gotten back from a very long day at work, and I am tired."
A part of me wanted to be understanding and let it go till tomorrow, but I knew if I
did, I would lose my zeal to say what I had in mind.
"I'm sorry, but it cannot," I told him, causing a frustrated sight to leave his mouth.
"Okay. What's it about?"
I had not thought this through enough to know how I would even start the
conversation so I simply said the first thing that came to my mind.
"You've changed. Why is that?" I let out simply. There was no need to beat around the bush about it.
"Changed? What are you talking about?" I knew he was playing dumb, he knew
exactly what I was talking about, but I decided not to mention that fact.
"Yes. Why don't you spend the night with me anymore? And you hardly talk to me
anymore." My voice was now shaking with all the emotions I had been feeling for the
past two weeks that I had been trying to keep at bay.
"Because I am busy, and I like to have my own space." His voice was cold, and I knew
that I would only hurt myself more if I continued with this conversation or said
anything more.
So, I just stared at him trying to read his face, searching for any answers. I got nothing.
He cleared his throat and then spoke. "Will that be all?"
"Yes," I said. He turned and left without a single hesitation.
I went back into my room, and I broke down in tears. It was my fault for rushing into
the marriage, I should have waited and investigated him a bit more before making a
lifetime commitment to him.
I imagined my life in a loveless marriage to a cold and distant man and I knew I had
made the worst mistake of my life. I could not even tell my family about it. They had
been so excited about the joining of two powerful families, that I just couldn't let them
down. This was my fate, and I knew I had to deal with it.
That night I vowed to myself that I would keep to myself and stay as far away from
Julian as possible. I might be stuck in this marriage, but I most certainly was not going
to beg for love and one day when the time was right, I would leave.
***
JULIAN'S POV
When I got into my room, I let out a huge sigh and tried to ignore the heavy feeling of guilt in my chest. I knew I had married Iris for all the wrong reasons, I also knew she didn't deserve any of the treatment that she was getting from me, but it was for her good and mine.
I could not allow myself to fall in love with her and the possibility of that happening was high with her. I was not cut out for it, especially not after what happened the last time.
It had taken me a very long time to get over losing my wife. It had hurt and it took everything in me to pick myself back up again. I didn't even think I had it in me to love anybody the way I had loved her and losing her had shattered me. I only lived because of my daughters, I fought to come out of the horrible pit of depression for the sake of my girls. They had lost their mother, there was no reason for them to lose their father too.
I remembered what it was like when my mom died and how my dad had changed completely towards me. I didn't want my children to experience that. I knew I was not home alone, but I always tried to make time for them.
The image of Iris' defeated face came to mind, and I felt that stab of guilt again. Iris was a lovely girl, and she was extremely gorgeous, it had taken all of my willpower to remain stoic as she stood in front of me in her transparent nightwear and her luscious black hair that was messily pushed to the side and to stop myself from pressing a kiss to her soft, pink, plum lips that were calling out to me.
I shook the thoughts from my head as I felt myself getting aroused. That was exactly why I needed to stay away from her, she was dangerous. A disaster that was waiting to happen. One I could not afford to happen.
I went into the bathroom to take a cold shower, an attempt to cure my mind of the
perverted thoughts I was harboring towards my new wife.
I blamed myself for this whole thing—I could have married any woman that I wanted.
One that I wasn't attracted to, but instead I let my desires win and I went after the one woman that set a fire in me and ignited a passion within me that I had not felt for any woman in a long time.
When I finally got into my bed that night, I could not sleep. The guilt that I had been able to bury came back up to the surface. I felt like the worst possible person in the world, but it was too late to go back now.