Chereads / THE WIDOWER'S WIFE / Chapter 10 - CHAPTER TEN

Chapter 10 - CHAPTER TEN

IRIS' POV

Somehow, deep in my gut, I knew what was going to happen the next morning when we woke up from sleep, so I decided it was better for me to leave and avoid it altogether. I could not bear to see the regret on his face. What we did should not have happened. I had gone there to only talk, talk about things that were important and needed to be addressed, but instead, I had ended up making a mistake. A mistake that I enjoyed very much.

I spent the entire day in my room, scared that if I came out, I would bump into Julian and I didn't think I could deal with that, at least not yet. What would we even have to say to each other?

I tried to distract myself and forget everything that happened out of my mind, but I just couldn't do it. The memories of his kiss, his touch, and the feeling of him inside me invaded my thoughts no matter how much I didn't want them there.

I was frustrated. I was stuck between regretting what had happened and trying to understand why it happened and a little part of me wanted it to happen again.

Moments like this, I hated myself. This man had lured me into marrying him for reasons best known to him and then instead of hating him the way I should, I was hating and craving him. I needed to stop. Julian Brantholm was my husband, but he was forbidden fruit. I had already been burnt by his toxic fire once and I didn't want to be there again.

It was noon when I finally stepped out of my room, I assumed that everybody else had already gotten their breakfasts and were now in their rooms, so I could sneak into the kitchen, grab something to eat, and then get back to my room.

I know it is paranoia, but I just felt like everybody knew what we did, and they judged me for it. I just needed to get through this day without seeing Julian and then I would be fine. 

When I walked into the kitchen, Agatha was there chopping up some veggies and I was relieved that she was the only one there. Agatha stayed at the staff quarters, it was highly unlikely that she knew anything had happened between Julian and me the night before.

"Good morning, Mrs. Brantholm." Agatha greeted me with a smile when she noticed my presence.

"Good morning, Agatha," I answered with what I hoped was a pleasant smile.

"You did not come down for breakfast. I was about to go up to check on you."

"I'm fine. I just overslept, that's all." I explained softly and she nodded her head.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, please. I'm famished." I tapped on my tummy which had been growling for the past hour which made Agatha laugh.

 "I'll get you something to eat right away."

Agatha placed a lovely meal of French toast, sausages, and scrambled eggs on a plate for me and then filled a tall glass with orange juice for me. I decided that it would be too much of a hassle to take it up to my room so, I ate in the kitchen while I talked with Agatha. She was a very interesting woman and an absolute joy to be around.

"You have 7 kids and 20 grandchildren! That's surprising." I told her as she told me about her family. Her husband had died many years ago, leaving her to take care of their kids alone.

"Yes. My grandkids are the sweetest. I love them so much."

I could see that. All her children seemed to be successful, so I wondered why she had not retired and was still working at the Brantholm estate. I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to be rude.

I had been talking to Agatha and I didn't realize how much time had passed. And for a couple of hours, it gave me the chance to forget my own problems for a bit.

I bid Agatha goodbye as I left the kitchen and headed upstairs for my room.

I had just gotten to the top of the stairs when the one person I had been trying to avoid the entire day was standing only a few steps away from me.

Dressed in a pair of navy blue sweatpants and a plain black tee-shirt, his hair damp from being fresh out of the shower, Julian Brantholm stood before me in all his male glory. His expression was blank, and I tried not to show how much his presence affected me.

We stood looking at each other for a long time as we held each other's eyes in an intense stare down. It was almost as though we were challenging each other to see who would break first and try to talk about what had happened the night before. The tension between us was palpable and could be cut with a knife. I was not going to back down and it was obvious that he wasn't going to either.

I was tired of this game we were playing so I moved to go to my room as I walked past him, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me and forcing me to look at him.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just stood there. I raised my eyebrows quizzically at him, feeling somewhat excited to hear what he would say.

"Do you have something to say?" I asked when the silence had become unbearable.

"You're avoiding me." He says it like he's been holding it in for a long time.

I scoffed and responded. "I am not. Why would I be?" I lied.

"Because of what happened yesterday."

I managed to pull my hand away from his hold and glared at him. "What happened yesterday should not have happened and we both know it."

"We both know it. Or that is how you feel?" He said as he began to walk towards me.

For every one step he took, I took one back. "It…it doesn't matter." My back hit the wall and there was nowhere to run. Julian now stood in front of me, our faces were not even up to an inch apart. Being this close to him was doing things to me, making me feel things that I should not feel. I tried to avoid his gaze, but his hands grabbed my neck softly, so I'd look at him. "How can you say it should not have happened when your body shakes with just one touch? Your body responds to me, Iris, and do you know why?" His voice was low and hoarse. He brought his mouth to my ear and then licked it, causing warmth to flow down to my core. "Your body knows that you belong to me, even if you don't know it yet." He whispered into my ear. I needed to pull away and leave this place. Julian Brantholm was bad for me. He'd hurt me once, there was no way I was letting him hurt me again, no matter how much my body yearned for him.