Day 1
10:27 AM
An entire iteration has passed, and I've received no response. My macabre proposal to them certainly hurt them deeply, and there's no escaping that.
It's not as if I'm at peace with this decision. Unfortunately, the world isn't very generous in this regard.
Everything we've built with so much effort has been thrown into question.
My words hurt them so much that they haven't spoken a word to me all week. I only catch glimpses of them in the deserted corridors of the main building, and I can't gather the energy to confront them again.
That last conversation drained me more than a millennium of this torture ever could.
Still, I intend to follow Ailiss's request. I won't force the issue any further for now, but I can't remain idle forever. What if, in the end, they decide they don't want to be saved? What will I do?
Will I follow my beloveds' wishes even if it leads them to their own suffering? Clearly not. I don't know if acting contrary to their will is the right answer, but standing by and doing nothing feels far worse. In the end, what's right doesn't matter, for human life isn't governed by duties but by desires.
I find myself once again alone and utterly lost in this colorless world. This practically deserted school, blanketed in snow, mirrors my inner state perfectly.
...
"Mistkerl, we need to talk," Ailiss enters the classroom.
A few iterations after the incident, she's finally come to speak with me. However, I no longer know what to expect from the two of them. Considering their reaction during our last conversation, it's clear they'll hardly collaborate with my plans—and I can't blame them for that.
"I thought you had abandoned me," I let out a weak laugh.
"I needed time to accept going along with your proposal… and even more time to convince Mikoto."
What?!
Am I hearing this correctly? Can we finally leave this reality? After so many disappointments… we can finally put an end to this hell.
"You convinced her? I don't even know how to thank you," I widen my eyes and smile. "I knew you'd understand me eventually," I approach her, relieved.
Then, I find myself flying backward, crashing into desks and chairs. I fall to the ground, feeling a terrible pain in my face.
And then I realize what just happened.
Ailiss punched me square in the face with enough force to send me flying.
It's been a long time since I've experienced her overwhelming strength, to the point that I'd forgotten how terrifying she can be. I almost lose consciousness from the impact.
"Don't lump me in with you," she glares at me with a predatory look. "I still don't see this as a good thing. I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt because of everything we've been through together, and if you say this is the only way to save her… then I'll cooperate with you."
"I understand. I'm sorry."
My relief was automatic, knowing I could finally save them, so I made the same mistake again. Even if they agreed, it doesn't mean they see the situation the same way I do. We all feel like we have no choice, but our acceptance levels are different.
"Come to the council room tonight. Let's get this over with so we can think about it as little as possible," she turns her back and speaks before leaving the room.
...
As suggested, I wait until nightfall—a relatively short period of time, yet disturbing enough to feel like an eternity.
I open the door and find the girls with lifeless gazes in the room. The two most radiant figures I've ever known now seem shrouded in a dull aura. The vibrant blue and red of their eyes seem to have faded into this monochromatic world.
Their situation is worse than I could have imagined. Is it really alright to go through with this? Do they need more time? This will make everything more complicated, but as the decay progresses slowly, we still have a little freedom in this regard.
For better or worse, our death row is quite patient.
"Mikoto, can we talk for a moment? I don't think things are very clear between us."
"Everything is very clear. I see nothing more to discuss. Did Ailiss not already tell you that I agreed with your idea? Is that not what you wanted in the first place?" she replies indifferently.
"Yes, she did. But even so… I don't want this to be done in this way. I believe it will be even more painful for you both. I love you and want you to be aware of that above all else. Every decision I've made has been because I love you unconditionally."
"Do not get me wrong. Our feelings for you have never changed either. But put yourself in our place… actually, you should not even need to put yourself there. From your position, you should already share the same feeling. There is no way we can do this calmly," she lowers her gaze.
"Again, I apologize. The weight of the actions we're about to take may indeed have a greater impact on you both, but it doesn't mean they don't disturb me as well. It's still my responsibility in the end, and it's not as if I'm doing this with a clean conscience," I respond bitterly.
No matter how deep my remorse, nothing I place on the scales will outweigh their lives and well-being. My choice always has been and always will be them.
"There's no need for you to apologize. There's no other solution, right? By the way, I should be the one apologizing for the punch earlier," Ailiss says.
"Just do not ask us for enthusiasm right now because that is an impossible request. We cannot be okay knowing what we are about to do. This is far from a victory. Frankly… I cannot think of a worse ending for all of this," Mikoto continues.
The truth is, we've always been in a game we were destined to lose. By the very nature of a fatality, it's a sin we're predestined to commit.
I'm relieved, at least, that I wasn't forced to compel them—because I'd probably want to end my own consciousness immediately afterward.
"In that case, I don't think there's anything more for me to say," I reply.
"Let us get this over with quickly," Ailiss says.
Mikoto nods, and the two begin undressing in front of me.
That's totally wrong—this melancholic atmosphere is utterly different from our rites of love. But this is our cold reality.