Time, which seemed to have been frozen, begins to flow again and drags me back to confront this terrifying reality.
"Blood?" Ailiss stares at Mikoto in surprise. "Could this be…"
"Yes, there is no other explanation but decay…" Mikoto completes, staring at her own palm.
My fears have materialized; somehow, this has reached one of the players. But what should we expect from this? Could it be that the damage she's suffered will regenerate in the next iteration?
"How long have you known about this?" I ask.
"I started feeling strange a few repetitions ago, but I did not want to worry you with something I was not even sure of myself."
No, this isn't a simple physical injury like that from a projectile or blade. Even if she heals, new and more severe symptoms will gradually appear.
"You should have told us immediately!" Ailiss responds.
"I am sorry, you are a good companion, Ailiss," a bitter smile forms on her face. "If I were in your place, I would also demand to know about anything troubling you. In the end, I was trying not to worry you, but now I have worsened the situation," she averts her gaze. "Or perhaps I was trying to delude myself into thinking it could just be a figment of my imagination."
"Don't lose hope yet. We'll do something about it," Ailiss lowers her head.
Despite Ailiss's expressionless words, I can feel how deeply desperate she is about Mikoto. I know this because I feel the same.
It's ironic to think that in such a delicate situation, the two girls who seemed devoid of emotions are supporting one another while I find myself utterly powerless. My whole body trembles and I begin to sweat cold. I don't know what to say, much less what to do to resolve or even mitigate the situation.
Not even during those eternal repetitions of insanity have I felt so helpless.
Unable to say anything else due to the terror caused by this scene, I leave Mikoto in Ailiss's care and stagger out of the room.
8:23 AM
I wander aimlessly through the corridors, from one side to another, in a vain attempt to think of a solution to this problem… Unfortunately, it's likely that none exists.
But even aware of this fatality, I could never simply give up and wait for the decay to slowly consume us until death, as happened with Keiko and the other students who resisted alongside us until their final moments.
Just thinking of Mikoto and Ailiss in that situation—seeing them that way on their deathbeds—crushes, tears apart, and utterly destroys my heart.
Even imagining them suffering again causes a sensation of thousands of blades slowly slicing my flesh. Amid such impotence, I find myself trapped by a pressure as intense as the pull of a black hole.
Yet, even in the face of the impossible, I must muster all my strength. I need to save the two of them at any cost. They are my only reason for being; they are the only thing that matters.
They are…
There must be something I can do for them; I need to believe that. Even if reality shows its apathetic nature once more and presents no solutions, I must continue believing there's something I can do.
Otherwise, all that awaits me is insanity.
"Mistkerl," I hear Ailiss approaching me.
"Ailiss?" I pause and see her somber expression. "What is it? How is Mikoto?" I ask.
"She's probably sleeping now. She stopped coughing, I got her something to eat, and then I asked her to rest and conserve her energy."
From her expression, I thought Mikoto's condition had worsened. How strange… If she's truly fine, what's the reason for this melancholy emotional weight?
A brief thought crosses my mind.
What if they're hiding something? Mikoto just did this to us; it wouldn't be surprising if they were downplaying her poor health this time—perhaps even at Mikoto's request.
"You did well. In this delicate moment, Ailiss, I need you both to take care of each other. I'll try to find a way to save you both; I swear I won't rest until I see you safe once more," I approach her, force a smile, and place my hands on her shoulders.
"Understood. You can count on me; I'll take care of her. You know you don't even need to ask that, right?" she lowers her gaze.
Even with this response, there's still something different in her behavior. She's always been more direct. I don't understand—does she want to tell me something between the lines? Are they trying to prevent me from worrying about this?
"Ailiss, is something wrong that you're hesitating to tell me?"
"I'm fine for now. Mikoto's condition isn't that severe either," she sighs, raises her face, and looks at me. "Actually, I'm more worried about you."
What does she mean by that? What could possibly concern her?
"What are you talking about? Me? I haven't shown any symptoms yet. At the moment, our priority is Mikoto's well-being; after all, she's the first to be affected by this. As for us, we just need to stay alert to identify when our symptoms appear."
"That may be true; you're not showing signs of decay. But you're as pale as if you're about to die at any moment. Have you even noticed your own words?" she smiles bitterly. "'Save us both'—you should include yourself in that too."
So that's what's bothering her?
Of course… If our roles were reversed, I'd feel the same way. I'd never allow her to go to the battlefield to save me because I care more about her life than my own.
Ailiss… I can't even put into words how much I love her. Despite this always being evident in her actions, it's comforting to hear that she worries about me, too.
"I'm also included in my plans, but you two are my priority."
"Do you want things to end up like those endless repetitions? That was the mentality we all adopted, and I don't need to explain how often those attitudes left us only with bitterness," she pauses. "No more self-sacrifice, understand? It's all or nothing."
I'm sorry, but seeing her care for me only strengthens my resolve to save them, even if it costs my sanity or my very existence.
So, I tell another sweet lie.
"You're right. I'll take that into account," I respond, producing another smile.
She simply turns away, leaving me unsure if she believed my words.
I've spent millennia upon millennia trapped in this loop, trying to find a way to end it. Honestly, I don't think there's anything I haven't already tried.
What will I do next?
10:32 AM
I can't say all of this caught me by surprise since a dark premonition had been hovering over my thoughts for quite some time. Even so, I can't help but feel exhausted by the situation.
I enter the student council room and see that Mikoto is already awake. She calmly turns her face toward me and silently stares.
"Did you manage to get some rest?" I approach her and ask.
"Yes, I just woke up," she smiles. "Sleeping in winter is always so refreshing," she stretches.
What were the initial symptoms of decay again? If I recall, they started like a common cold.
"Are you feeling pain anywhere? Fever? Nausea?" I tilt my head and touch her forehead with mine.
"Believe me, I am much better. I just needed some rest," she steps back. "I think the progression of symptoms in us will be much slower than it was for our schoolmates. So, there is no need to worry so much; we have plenty of time to think about how to solve this problem. Besides, Ailiss is here to take care of me," Mikoto replies in a calm tone.
"If you say so…"
Hearing Mikoto's explanation gives me some relief, but a horrific agony quickly follows it. There's a detail in her words that I hadn't noticed before. The progression of symptoms will be slow, which is positive since it gives us more time.
But if we fail, we'll face the slowest, most painful death imaginable. We can't even escape it through suicide since it's already a practice we adopted to avoid being reaped by Death at the end of the cycle—with no success.
And worse still…
What will happen to us if we don't even die from the symptoms? Will we be trapped in eternal agony, continuing to live as our organs fail incessantly? We'll be condemned to unending suffering.
This is more terrifying than I could ever imagine. It's the materialization of hell itself.
Could it be that we were given the opportunity to experience paradise only to fall into hell from an even greater height? Our emotional bonds have never been stronger, and this makes everything even more painful because while enduring my own physical and spiritual degeneration, I'll be aware that just a few meters away, they'll be enduring the same hell.
Those entities are vile… They couldn't have devised something more horrific than this.
If I ever reencounter them, I'll strangle them with all my strength!
"Hey, Johann. What happened? You seemed lost in thought and did not respond when I called you," Mikoto shakes me, bringing me back to the present.
"I'm sorry, I got distracted. Focusing too much on my thoughts and disconnecting from the world around me is a bad habit I picked up during the repetitions."
"You call that a bad habit? Honestly… You gave me quite a scare," she sighs. "So, what were you so focused on just now?"
It's not something I can discuss with her, especially since she's the first to suffer from it. However, it would also be strange to think that someone as intelligent as her hasn't already connected the dots.
Which leads me to conclude that she's aware but simply chooses not to mention this terrible inevitability.
And I prefer not to mention it either.
"I don't remember."
"Do you expect me to believe that? If you were that focused, you could not forget something important so quickly."
"Well, forgetting things easily is another bad habit I've developed here."
Logically, her expression shows she didn't believe my little lie. However, knowing she won't advance the conversation without revealing her awareness of this tragic fate, she lowers her face and concludes.
"Alright…"
I bid her farewell, leave the student council room, and again encounter Ailiss leaning against the wall near the door.
"Were you listening to the conversation?" I ask.
"And if I was? Would it change anything?"
It's not just Mikoto who can read my mind. After so much time together, Ailiss has also become quite intuitive about me. She certainly saw through all my falsehoods.
"Probably not," I lower my head.
"So, what will you try to do?"
"I don't know yet. But I need you to honor my earlier request. It's possible I'll need to be absent for a while due to my investigation, so take care of each other," I pause, close my eyes, and clench my fists tightly. "Please."
"Alright," she sighs. "Just promise me you won't lose your mind like last time. In a situation like this, we need each other's support. You need to stay strong because Mikoto needs you… and I need you too."
I know… I know that so well. But what else could I do differently? Oh, if I could, I'd accept your request without hesitation. However, all I see is a dense fog covering our future.
"I'll try," I say, avoiding her gaze.
Once again, we both know how little truth there is in my words.
...
I have no ideas… I can't come up with a solution. I wander aimlessly through the school courtyard, wholly lost, pressing my palms against my forehead in a vain attempt to make my brain work faster.
I approach the gate and see that dark aura materializing before me.
Damn it. If it weren't for you… Wasn't it enough to stain their pasts? You had to take even more, stealing their present and future.
How many times have I tried to confront it? I've lost count. And every time, I've been reaped in the most painful ways. Even so, nothing else comes to mind but to try tearing this wretched thing apart with my hands.
It's been so long since I last felt pain—perhaps it will clear my mind a bit, and it's certainly a way to release my fury.
My rage explodes, and I impulsively run toward that horrific entity. I leap and prepare a punch aimed at it.
Time freezes, and my attempt to strike dissipates. I find myself floating in a moment of frozen time, its scythe slowly approaching amidst the temporal dilation.
Finally, I'm reaped, and my body rots slowly from its cut.
...
As usual, I find myself in the classroom.
The same as always… there's absolutely no escape from here. It's pointless to get angry or sad; we're condemned either way.
I run out of the classroom and head to the courtyard.
I look around and finally raise my face to the sky.
"Where are you?! Tell me! What do you expect us to do?! Damn you!" I scream desperately, hoping for a response.
Nothing.