Committing a sin, a taboo that opposes our integrity is naturally considered wrong. However, what if the use of this tool encompasses a noble cause? In such a case, it seems morally justifiable to me. A cursed tool can be employed to protect our greatest treasure.
Is that how you felt on that calamitous night, mother?
My original intent was self-centered; I planned to save myself and only myself. I wanted to live the life that you handed me twice. However, I was compelled to make a drastic change of plans.
My masks shattered.
And the most ironic part is that he did not need to do anything to break them. Throughout my existence, I believed I could use and exploit my masks. Yet, they were not designed to withstand the layering of emotions from billions of worlds.
A biology lesson comes to mind now. It was about diseases transmitted by animals. Among them is toxoplasmosis. The teacher explained that when a rat was infected by the parasite, it began to confuse the scent of feline urine with that of a female of its species in its fertile period.
How does one interpret the prey falling in love with its predator? Moreover, the prey acts to save the predator, even if it must pay with its own life, even if it must violate the entire code of conduct it once upheld.
Am I ill?
That is why I cannot compare my impure actions to the nobility of my predecessor. Then why? Why was this chance given to me, of all people? I do not deserve such mercy at all, even if it is to bring about my inherent end.
I keep trying to envision some alternate ending in which I could follow the likely course of my path. I imagine if I could maintain the excellence I have strived to preserve until now or if my strength would falter before that. Well, if any of them were with me… then I would have a crutch to lean on during the most difficult times.
All of this remains only in imagination; now, it is just a beautiful, infinitely distant dream. In some worlds, I might even live happily in ignorance, but my soul would be corroded by a guilt that transcends time itself.
Hey, why are you acting this way? I should be alone at this moment. Please, do not tell me that you can see through this layer of falsehood once again.
No, I cannot have failed, at least not in this.
"Idiot, go to your friend."
Do not stay with me. You should not be acting this way. Unfortunately, in this world, things need to end like this.
I do not think I even have the strength anymore to protest against your actions. My vitality is draining more and more. Very well, perhaps I should allow myself to depart in the comfort of your arms. Permit me just one more act of selfishness.
My last breath shall be amidst the flames as if I were already anticipating my first contact with hell. Yet, I continue to feel so cold; is it due to the blood loss, or am I sensing the vastness of the void instead?