12:31 PM
Lunchtime arrives, albeit slightly delayed due to the morning's events. The student council worked tirelessly to organize the cafeteria despite the immense pressure.
The only problem is the lingering fear. We're all standing outside the cafeteria, yet not a single hungry student dares to approach the food.
"What's to stop the culprit who poisoned Haruki from tampering with the cafeteria food?"
This comment is repeated in every conversation I overhear.
The president seems aware of the fear gripping the crowd before her. I wonder what she'll do.
The tension is broken when a boy steps forward toward the utensils, filling his plate. Vice President Takashi isn't one to volunteer for such a task out of simple altruism.
From this, I can infer two possibilities: either our illustrious dictator ordered him, or he volunteered to impress her.
After taking his first bite with an expression of pure indifference, he says what was likely rehearsed beforehand:
"Everything's fine."
Then, the girl with long black hair steps forward and delivers a short but effective announcement.
"As you can see, the council assures you that the food is safe. Please help yourselves without worry."
The queen's decree sparks a wave of relief among her subjects.
"I was nervous, but if Tanaka-senpai ate and the Kaichou confirmed it's safe, we can trust them, right?" a student says.
"Of course! They know what they're doing!" another replies.
It seems they're putting the train back on track. While I'm still pessimistic, perhaps I should also give the president and council the benefit of the doubt.
"Wow, I'm starving. Let's hurry before it's all gone," says Shou.
"I could eat like a Shounen protagonist," Manabu adds.
The rush to the food is immense. Despite my hunger, the thought of standing in that line saps my will to eat. It doesn't seem worth the effort, but if I don't eat now, nothing might be left.
Meanwhile, Keiko and Natsuki successfully organize a single-file line for the starving students. Both still seem deeply shaken by Haruki's death, but they're working productively. Takashi, however, has to eat quickly to assist with cafeteria management.
As the three head toward the line, Miyu glances back and asks:
"Aren't you coming?"
"I'm on my way."
I take a moment to watch the president leave the area without eating before joining the line.
2:15 PM
Here I am again, outside, soaking in the winter sun. There's nothing like quiet moments to warm up and sort out the mess in my head.
"Johann!"
Manabu's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
"What now? What's the problem this time?" I reply irritably.
The trio approaches the bleachers where I'm sitting.
"Come on, don't be so rude. We came to keep you company," Miyu says.
This is precisely the problem I was referring to.
"Leave me alone, at least for this afternoon. I need some time to clear my head."
"Don't be like that, Johann. Cheer up," Shou says.
My calm demeanor stems from my indifference to life itself. But that's not the case for them. It's not just their personalities being carefree. There has to be more to it.
"Could you explain something? How can you all be so relaxed, chatting about trivial things?"
"What good would worrying do?" Shou replies.
Since when did they become so detached from such concerns?
"Explain further, please," I insist.
"Do you really think we, mere high school students, can make a difference in a supernatural game?" Manabu asks.
"To answer your question: no. Waiting for the end like NPCs is the most fitting resolution for this conflict."
"That's why the best we can do is try to lift the spirits of those around us," Shou adds.
Then Miyu's optimism erupts like a volcano.
"Manabu-kun and Shimizu-kun, don't ever say something like that! If you believe in yourselves, you can do anything!"
"Miyu-chan, you know you're not being sincere, so don't try to deceive me with pretty words," Shou retorts.
"Of course you can, Shimizu-kun!"
"Wow, Manabu! I can't believe that actually worked!" Shou laughs.
"What? Worked? What are you talking about?" Miyu asks, confused.
Shou grins with excitement while Miyu remains perplexed.
"Shou asked for my help. He wanted to know how to get some positive words from you," Manabu says.
"You said what?!" Miyu's realization hits.
"I told him to mimic Johann's pessimism about his future, and you'd automatically give him some encouragement," Manabu explains.
"Seeing how you always try to cheer people up when they feel down, Manabu came up with this brilliant plan," Shou adds with a smile.
"Ugh, you're both idiots!" Miyu turns away in frustration.
So it was all a ploy for Mr. Ladies' Man to get some comfort.
"Great plan, but you missed an important detail," I comment.
"What detail, Johann?" Manabu asks.
"What good was this whole charade if you revealed the plan in the end?"
"Oh no… I'm an idiot!" Shou shouts in despair.
"Yeah… sorry, Shou, I didn't think it through," Manabu admits.
With their antics over, I try to return to the main topic.
"Now, can you at least answer my first question? Laughing like this, it's hard to believe someone just died."
They fall silent. Shou looks around, thoughtful. In the end, it's not either of them but Miyu who answers, her previous sulkiness replaced with sincerity.
"I don't know. I don't know if they feel the same as me, but it feels like I've gotten used to the idea of someone dying far too quickly. It's been bothering me all day. I feel dirty, but I can't make sense of anything in my head."
Now that she mentions it, it's true. Even though we're aware of imminent danger, the idea of someone we knew dying only impacted us for a short time. It's as if our minds have normalized it as if death has become routine.
This same pattern occurred after the adults disappeared, then with Asahi, and now with Haruki's murder. By lunchtime, the weight of his death had completely vanished. Usually, this kind of trauma should linger for months in a typical teenager's mind. Yet everything is happening contrary to expectation.
"I thought seeing a body would affect me more deeply, but it feels normal, or maybe it is. Murders happen all the time, after all," Manabu comments.
Manabu's point isn't wrong. Thousands of people die every day. But it doesn't align with our reality. This was the first time we faced a homicide.
4:44 PM
How long do they intend to keep following me?
"Where are you going, Johann?" Manabu asks as he notices me trying to slip away.
"To the dormitory," I reply.
We enter the dormitory block, and they persist in trying to convince me to abandon my plan. Their argument boils down to "having fun" by talking with friends, which is practically a contradiction in terms for me.
"Come on, Johann! The sun hasn't even set yet. It's not bedtime!" Shou exclaims.
"I know that, but I like to sleep early."
I climb another flight of stairs and finally reach the corridor leading to the boys' dormitory.
Turning the corner, I'm confronted by an unexpected presence, and my body freezes.
Standing there is the exchange student we saw yesterday when returning to class.
She notices me and turns her sharp gaze in my direction.