Chapter 39-1
Sisterly Love
Part 2
My new room was a little smaller than my old room with an extra bed with nobody in it with my own bathroom as promised. Mom and Jody set down our things and looked in every nook and cranny as if it was possible for me to escape, which was unlikely. Unless I tied the bed sheets and climbed down three floors. Jody happily tried out the bed and kicked off her shoes, sending them sailing into the corner along with her socks. I knew that Susan and Becky would consider it a sin if they saw her doing this. However, it made me all warm and tingling inside seeing her wiggling her bare toes in the air, making feel more at home.
Mom closed the door, thanking the nurses. Saying she wanted to have a word of prayer before she left us to meet Dad before he came home finding her missing. Dad was strict about being punctual and having everyone at the dinner table. Mom told me, Dad mentioned last night that we might have a family home evening here with me so we could have everyone together such as it is. Personally, I could have done without it, but thought better of it to not rock the boat.
So, Mom and Jody knelled, and each took a hand and stretched to make a full circle. Mom prayed, asking God to watch over me and other basic stuff. Mom didn't cry this time. Until she kissed my forehead, getting all choked up, said. "We are all lonely not having you home, its like part of us is missing." I had my doubts considering how they treated Arthur and me and no doubts about James, considering he had run away and was still missing. Something bad must have happened down in that basement.
Jody turned on the TV flipping the channels and sighed with relief that it was just the two of us in the room; taking her spot next to me stealing the blanket off the other bed and curled up next to me as if I truly was one of her brothers, leaning over and kissed my cheek tucking my blanket around me and said. "I should have brought us some popcorn," I mentioned. I still had some cookies left if she wanted to snack.
She said perhaps later and wondered what was for dinner. And just like clockwork, the doors opened to bring in two trays as our mouthwatering, with my pain medication and antibiotics that came with the I.V. bag. Just like Shane, she lifted the lid, waving the aroma. I asked. "If we should pray first before we devour everything?"
She said, "Why? Mom and Dad aren't here? Personally, all the praying for this and praying for that gets to be a little old. My knees have calluses from doing them so often."
I grinned as we almost licked our plates clean. Jody was just like Anna, always fluffing my pillow making sure I had ice cold water to drink. Calling the nurse to help me to the bathroom making sure my gown was closed walking the short distance to the bathroom in my room. Stating that it is a sister's duty to take care of her little brother. Letting me do my business alone as she waited outside as if she was guarding the door, from predators, walking me back and turning down my bed and tucking me in.
Feeling my head and trying to see if I was still running a fever, saying. "You are still burning hot. Maybe I should stick you in that tub myself," then laughing when I blushed. We hated watching the clock knowing Dad and the rest of them would be here shortly, but there was little we could do, so she read to me out of one of my novels curling up next to me.
It was almost 8 o'clock when everyone else arrived one by one and Shane bringing in lots of balloons and Kerry carrying a cake with my name on it saying, "Get well soon, we miss you." With everyone behind her, including Arthur; and he didn't look happy as Shawn prodded him. Whispering something in his ear as his eyes dropped to the floor. Sitting in the far corner on the floor as Shawn took the chair beside him; refusing to even look at me.
Dad and Mom were talking to the nurses, hear them say that I was still running a temperature, but had come down quite a bit in the last two days. Telling them not to stay too long. Dad and Mom put on a cheerful face as they closed the door with Jared and Jason in each of their hands. Finding spots on the floor, while Mom took a place on the corner of my bed, letting Dad take the chair. The last chair and then quickly bringing things to order, saying they had little time.
With the whole family in my room, it seemed crowded and noisy, more noise than I had heard in the last few days. Dad quieted the room asking Kerry to lead us in a song and Shane to give the opening prayer. Dad gave the lesson on family proclamation reading the Church Ensign a talk from one of the general authorities. Ending it said. "As a family, we need to come together and help one another out," said. "If we do this, we will become closer to each other and to God."
Then everyone knelled around the bed, Dad taking my hand and Mom taking the other. Dad prayed for God to watch over his family and to watch over me and asking forgiveness and that I would come home soon where I belonged. He paused for the longest minute. I knew something was wrong as he squeezed my hand tightly, letting his anger flow through it crushing my hand. Then quickly letting it go ending the prayer, standing quickly asking Jody and Kerry to pass out plates and plastic forks.
It was nearly 9:30 pm when the nurse escorted everyone out, except Jody. Dad asking her to wait outside so he and Mom could have a quick moment alone with me. I knew I was in trouble and he was angry the way he said the word "alone." While I watched everyone hustle out, Shane gave me a worried look. But we both knew neither one could touch me, not here in the hospital. It still didn't make me feel any better.
Dad growled as softly as he could without yelling, asking me. "What the hell are you doing? You have some nerve; after all, we have done for you. You repay us by lying to us. I know you told the Bishop and I know you said something to the social worker today. Thinking that if you said something about how you think we mistreated you and Arthur and that other boy, James. Making it look like we are bad parents, just like your own mother and father. So you can go back to those heathen farmers. You may think you are safe behind these doors, but trust me when you come home. I have other ways to punish you. Making you wish your father killed you when he had the chance."
Leaning over, and grabbed me by the hair, lifting his hand to smack me across the face. Someone knocks on the door as the nurse said it was time. He quickly lets me go, letting my head fall back onto the bed. His cold eyes staring back at me, leaning down to rub my hair as if he was a loving father. Whispering. "We are not through. Not by a long shot boy. Nobody believes a boy that calls wolf or runs away."
The nurse stepped further into the room, saying. "Sir, it's time."
I watched Mom's worried face. As they slowly took each other's hand as quick as you snap a finger and their mood changed, Dad said in a father's calm tone. "Be good son and mind the nurses and remember to say your nightly prayers like we have taught you," in the most loving voice he could muster. "Nurse, I believe his temperature is rising. He seems a bit on the hot side." She agreed, seeing sweat and tears flowing down my face. I tried again to link with Jeff once more, praying that somehow, he would come to my rescue, but all I got was silence.
Jody came in crying grabbed her shoes and ran towards the door. I was alone, completely alone, and terrified as the nurse came in, seeing my tears as I cried. Asking me if I was in pain, I nodded yes, not trusting my voice. Coming back and giving me another dose of pain medicine, but it really wasn't that kind of pain I was truly feeling at the moment. It was the pain that nobody seemed to care if the house I lived in was full of monsters; knowing that there was no escape.
The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure, telling me I was spiking again. Open the bathroom door and turned on the water in the tub. Unhooked the I.V. and walked me to the tub, removing my gown while I sat there in the cold water. I cried, pulling my knees to my chest and shook with fear. Waited for her to leave and laid down flat on my stomach, letting the water cover my head to make it harder for me to surface by my body reflexes to prevent me from drowning. Praying to God to let me die, opening my mouth letting the water in to take my breath away, and letting my body relax. Which wasn't easy as kept trying to arch my back. I had to force my head to stay under the water. It didn't take long before I slowly passed out.
Someone screamed for help as I laid there under the water, letting the darkness take me. I didn't move. I knew I was dying as my lungs begged for oxygen, but I refused to let the impulse happen. Someone lifted me out of the water, letting my body choke the water out. I cried, begging them to let me die. Saying over and over, "just let me die." Yet no one would listen as they laid me on the cold bathroom floor, putting their arms around me rocking me.
Asking me over and over. "Why? why? What have they done?"
I cried. "No one believes me, no one wants me, I am all alone, and death is my only companion," crying on their shoulder and falling asleep in another stranger's arms.
The end of book 1
Of My Life & How It Has Changed Me
Look for book 2 in the coming months.