Chapter 34
Returned Among The Living
Part 1
It was Monday afternoon and the sixth day that I had lived in the Rothwell house. I had woken once more on my own, feeling the warm sun on my bare back. Someone had dressed me as I felt the tight bulge of cloth across my waist of unturned elastic. I couldn't move without the pain making me dizzy as I looked around the empty room seeing Jeff sitting in the corner. With his head bowed as if he was praying or sleeping. A clouded feeling overcame me as I tried to link my mind with his, as if I had been drugged for too long. I looked toward the door, finding it opened, but the house was still and quiet; leaving the impression that nobody was home except me.
I groaned softly, trying to move my stiff and hurt body, shifting slowly letting the cool sheet slide off the bed onto the floor. Jeff raised his head and sighed with relief, as if he doubted, I would have lived through the night. Coming quickly to his feet gliding softly across the carpet towards me; he reached out with his mind, stating he was glad to see me, more glad that my spirit was still in this world. I tried to disagree by groaning as he smiled, wishing he could help me up or take away the pain. Instead, I whispered. "Was this part of his surprise?" As if it was a cruel joke; watching him shake his head no. For the first time, I thought he was lying to me; the dreams and the nightmares were still strong in my mind as they shifted from one to the other.
It wasn't long before I laid there trying to decide whether to just lie there or try to move my body into a sitting position. But Mrs. Rothwell decided for me while I was laying there, trying to decide whether to just lie there or try to move my body into sitting positions. Mrs. Rothwell came into the room, tears still fresh in her eyes. Telling me not to move unless I had to; I shook my head no and said. "I needed to use the bathroom," feeling my bladder about to burst and surprised it hadn't already. She understood and helped me move my feet onto the floor and leaned me against her shoulder. I groaned with each movement as I stood; then fell back onto the bed. Nearly falling, as my legs went limp from underneath me. She waited for me to try again, but I couldn't gain any purchase without them leaving me high and dry.
Mrs. Rothwell informed me that Dad had gone to work and wouldn't be home for a few more hours. I nodded I understood as she called for Shane from down the hall. Hoping between the two of them, I could reach to and from my destination. I sighed as I watched him with Shawn beside him, answering the call for help. I didn't like him much after the last time he and his father humiliated me doing a prison strip search, but it was that or peeing on the carpet. Somehow I felt that wouldn't be such a good idea, seeing the brown stains of my dried blood mixed in. I knew without a doubt that it would be me or Arthur scrubbing it clean to its pristine color.
Mrs. Rothwell carefully helped me up, trying not to touch my sore back. I realized it was bad; It was evident in their eyes and faces. Shane was careful also as he leaned in, taking my arm and placing it over his shoulder. If he was any taller, it would have been nearly impossible, but I managed the best I could to let them take my weight as we trudged to the bathroom. It didn't matter if the entire world witnessed me in a state of helplessness and agony. While she and Shane lowered me onto the seat, I paid no attention as Shawn, my audience, observed from the door. I didn't care as I felt the rush of relief as my bladder slowly emptied as they stood on either side of me to prevent me from falling over.
I could feel the wounds crack open as warm blood flowed slowly down my back. I thanked them for their help despite it was their fault. She asked if I felt like coming to the table for some lunch and I nodded. It would be fine. It didn't seem important to anyone that all I had on was my boxers, as she slowly and carefully helped me pull them up; or seeing a trail of small drops of my blood on the floor and round the toilet seat.
Instead, they helped me to the sink, letting her wash my hands as Shane held me by the waist to keep me from falling over. I turned, seeing the tub as it reminded me. She tried to kill me the following night. I couldn't help but stop as the memory washed over me; all most falling as the world caught up with me, bringing me back to reality. They silently helped me down the hall and let me fall firmly on a nearby kitchen chair. I could see from the window that everyone else was outside playing tag with Jared and Jason. Once again, Arthur wasn't among them. Personally, I hoped he was worse off than me. After all, it was his fault that Dad whipped us both as he fled for safety, leaving me to feel the full wrath that should have been his.
Just seeing them so happy made me think of Sam, Ted, and my little brother, Aaron. It was only when a tear landed on the table in front of me; I realized I had been silently crying. Every time I raised my arms, I could feel the scabs break open as I slowly wiped them away. As the blood continued to drip, tracing the contours of my legs like a waterfall, I couldn't ignore the fact that I was already here and famished, making this a bad idea.
To everyone else, it would look like the pain was causing them. I didn't care. In a way, it felt good to cry, letting the weight of my loneliness rack against the pain inside me and out. Nobody said a word as I sat there sobbing uncontrollably. As my head fell against my arms, folded in front of me as I leaned against the table, the deeper I cried the better I felt.
My body shudders as the tears came in more force. The feeling of loneliness was unbearable as I cried into my arms. Letting the memories wash over me. I screamed, feeling a cold wet towel touch the open wounds, hearing Mrs. Rothwell's choked voice as she tried to comfort me. Her words seemed hollow, but genuine as she knelled before me and feeling my head and cheeks, cussing that she didn't check me earlier. I didn't care if I died right there if it stopped the pain. I doubted anything would stop it, as I heard Jody say. "He really needs a doctor, Mom."
Her saying. "If he went there, there would be too many questions." Picking up the phone to call Dad then changing her mind as she set it back on the hook. Telling everyone in the room. "He will be fine until Dad comes home; we have been through worse than this." Yet she didn't sound convinced. Checking my head with her hand, said. "We will just put him back to bed until then."
I could feel Jeff's concerned; I didn't need to see his face. One minute he was angry and worried because he was so helpless. The next I felt was his warm embrace as he tried to take some of the pain away. He linked with me, telling me he was going to get me some help instead of watching me die in front of him. I begged him to bring Ma, saying she would know what to do, but I got no reply as he left me alone bleeding out in the stranger's house.
I considered I had been through the worst. Thinking about dying out in the middle of the road bleeding until the Downings found me. I slowly raised my head and closed my eyes to prevent the room from spinning. I could feel eyes on the back of my head, as if they were watching a dead man come back to life. Slowly, I wiped my tears, wincing as the towel fell behind the seat and feeling someone put it back around my shoulders.
I felt the cold goosebumps as I shivered, and my teeth chattered even though it was hot in the house; it felt like I was freezing. Mrs. Rothwell set down my lunch, hoping I would eat it. Setting down something clear that tasted like horse dung nearly spitting it back into the cup. Telling me it should help with the pain: a mixture of Cumin and Willow bark herbs I never heard of and wheat germ. Instead of laughing, I cried as my teeth chattered, preventing me from doing either successfully. I picked the sandwich and gulped down the drink and asked if it was alright if I went back to my room before I passed out onto the floor.
For a brief moment, I thought I heard someone laughing, sounding like a mouse squeaking as if it had been caught in a trap. But was just the back door opening as the kids and their sisters came into the room. Seeing me sitting at the table; Kerry quickly ushered them out and closed the family room door. I could hear the TV turn on and her saying. "I'll bring your lunch in here in a bit; after I see if Mom needs any help with the boy."
I could hear Sesame Street playing in the background. Kerry asked if she needs help, but Mom said. "We managed to get him this far. Shane and I can help him back to his room. Then you can bring Arthur up. I have a list of chores he can do. Starting with the bathroom; it's only fair that he cleans up his blood. After all, he was responsible for Eric being punished instead of him. I have very little doubt that he will be any use to us for at least a couple of days." I hated the idea of someone scrubbing floors as it refreshed the memory of me scrubbing floors with a toothbrush. But to say I felt sorry for him was a whole different matter.
Jody smiled at me as she took my plate and glass and set them in the sink. I could see the blush on her cheeks as she looked at me. I told her, "thank you for saving my life, last night," while my teeth chattered. She nodded. Whispering, she would check on me later. If I wasn't asleep; while she placed the falling towel back over my shoulders, leaving me alone to start some lunch for her brothers. I waited as Mrs. Rothwell and Shane took me by the arm, helping me up. Placing my arm around his neck, but instead of walking me back to my room she asked Jody if she could change my bed while she and Shane put me in the shower, so they could clean me up before setting me back on the bed. I wanted to scream no, but my teeth wouldn't stop chattering long enough.
Just the thought of her drowning me set me on edge, but she had a point. Seeing the red lines where the blood had dripped down my legs and chest. Besides, I never heard of someone drowning in the shower. Even though I didn't really like Shane, I didn't think he would allow her to kill me. So, I nodded. It was fine, not that I had a choice, really. I was wondering what was taking Jeff so long more than anything. It hurt as Mrs. Rothwell and Shane leaned me against them.
I screamed as the towel fell, scraping my skin taking scabs with it; as it dragged itself down, falling between my feet. Shane kicked it to the side, and we walked slowly as Mrs. Rothwell opened the door and turned on the shower then help lean me against the wall. Telling him he was going to have to climb in with me; "I know Mom, I have done it before with Arthur remember?" Reminding her I wasn't Arthur.
Shane removed his clothes except for his boxer shorts before jumping in. I don't know why it mattered. The water made them practically see through, anyway. Then carefully removed mine, kicking them out of the way holding me up the best he could. My legs shook as I leaned against the wall; feeling Shane's warm skin and lean body rub against mine as he held me up. I never felt so embarrassed, as the two of us showered so closely together as our bodies touched.
It gave me the most uncomfortable feeling. While his mother handed him the soap and shampoo as he washed me. Saying over and over how sorry he was, as he quickly and carefully washed me. I groaned as he dabbed my back as gently as he could without tearing the skin more and told me. "If he got a chance, Arthur was going to pay dearly for this." I nodded, saying as my teeth chatter, begged him not to be too hard on him.
He stood there pausing as if I struck a nerve, and then twisted off the water. Taking my arm and placed it around his neck as his mother dried me and him off the best she could. Wrapping the towel around my waist. But it wouldn't stay. I said, "leave it be, it doesn't matter anymore. "She nodded, letting Shane dry himself off while she set me down on the toilet seat so she could dry my hair. Shane said to her. "It would be best if the girls were out of the way, Mom. I don't feel like exposing myself in front of them. After all, I am not as young as I used to be."
She giggled and replied. "You have a point, but one more naked brother will not matter to her or Kerry's son or me, if you must know. Wait here. I will get you something dry to wear and check if Jody is finished with his bed. Dry yourself off." She opened the door and left us to our privacy, or what was left of it.
Shane again apologized for the other day, saying he had no choice but to obey his father. Asked me not to say anything to anyone or he would take it out on me. I nodded, hugging myself as I froze to death. Waiting trying to ignore the fact that I had just showered with another person who wasn't my brother, but a stranger, and wondered if this is how Arthur felt considering Shane having to bathe him as well.
I didn't have long to contemplate as the door on the other side opened. For once, it didn't bother me. I was naked in front of strangers that I haven't known for more than a week, as I sat there freezing to death even though my skin felt hot and in so much pain that made it seem unimportant. I knew I had a fever; my skin flushed with heat and beads of sweat formed on my brow. I also knew without the proper medication it was only going to get worse, so I prayed Jeff would return with help before then.
Mrs. Rothwell handed Shane a clean pair of boxers and said she would wait outside this door until he was ready. I was relieved that we were taking a shortcut then going out through the dining room. Shane said. "He was sorry that sometimes Mom forgets that not all foster boys are not like Arthur."
I nodded and said, "I had been through worse," his eyebrow rose, but I didn't elaborate.
Some secrets are best untold. I didn't trust him to keep quiet, so I stayed silent and turned my head while he dressed. He laughed at me. "Were guys, it's not like you haven't seen other boys showering in the locker room." Even so, I couldn't face him as I looked everywhere else but him. Only my other foster families knew I had a hard time showering with the other boys that weren't my brothers or my Pa, and mostly it was because I was ashamed of my body. Shane put a towel around my shoulders, letting it hang down against the front of my chest, and another tucked in around my waist, asking me if I was ready. I nodded as he took my arm and helped me to my feet; leaning me against him and said. "This doesn't mean we are going steady, just two guys helping the other one out." Which made me smile; as I tried to hold my teeth from chattering and he opened the door to his parent's bedroom.
I didn't need as much help as I tried to hurry, which was a mistake as the towel fell down around my ankles before I made it inside my bedroom door just in time seeing Jody leaving my room with my dirty bedding. Seeing her face blush, and watched her spin around. Mrs. Rothwell telling her. "It's not like you haven't seen it all before, girl. Give the poor boy a break. He didn't do it on purpose."
Hearing Jody saying, "Mom, I know all boys are the same. For heaven's sakes, I have a whole house full of them. And have bathed them enough times to know."
In a hurry, Shane kicked the towel out of my way as he quickly led me inside my room, closing the door behind him with his foot while his mother attended to his sister who was on the verge of bursting a gut" I am very surprised she didn't say you had a very nice butt." I blushed bright red, and he laughed even louder. "I bet if Dad was here, he would have agreed. Then again, that's between us." And winked at me, helping me back on the bed and draped the sheet over my waist and finished drying my hair with the towel around my shoulders.
As we waited for Mom to come back with the first aid kit, I had to ask why everyone calls us mule boy. Shane said. "Again, that started with Arthur because he is sometimes as dumb as a mule, and you haven't proved yourself yet that you're not just another stupid kid we get from time to time. But I would suggest you keep that to yourself and play along until Dad has said that you are not. But I would also advise that you don't anger him or you will end up dead." Grimacing; "or wish you were." I nodded. I understood, hugging myself as my teeth chattered. He offered to hug me, to keep me warm, but we both knew he was kidding, but he did wink at me strangely and that made me want to slide over just a bit.
Which made him laugh as Mom entered the room, telling us. "She was sorry for keeping us waiting, but Arthur needed instructions again about how I wanted him to clean the bathroom. Something he has done a million times before. I swear, sometimes he gets dumber as he gets older." Shaking her head. "Anyway, get dressed Shane, I got it from here. And be sure to bring up the laundry from downstairs. You know how I feel about going down there."
He said. "Yes Mom, when I come back up, I will check on Arthur and make sure he is doing what he was told." Somehow, I didn't think he meant it nicely as he winked back at me, closing the door behind him. I had a feeling that some things were best left unsaid. Mom helped me lay back onto my stomach, draping the clean sheets and blankets across my waist leaving my back and part of my butt exposed. Told me it would best if I didn't were my boxers until the wounds closed completely on my lower back at least."
I nodded as my teeth chattered against the pillow as I turned my head to breathe. For a brief moment, reality set in that I was completely alone with her and the door was closed. I felt the pillow brush against my cheek as she removed it from under me so I could lie completely flat and came to a start, thinking she was going to suffocate me. Since she wasn't able to drown me; instead she calmly placed the pillow on the other side of the bed. I breathed with a sigh of relief.
While she dabbed the wounds dry adding homemade herb lotion mixture made of Calendula, Chickweed, Cinnamon, Cloves, Geranium oil, and Comfrey root oil. That stung as I screamed against the bed. It smelled like mustard and mint leaves, leaving a burning and cooling sensation. Telling me these herbs will help with the pain and heal the wounds more quickly. Leaning close to my ear saying she was sorry for last night, she didn't know what came over her. Promising she would never try it again.
I didn't answer right away, trying to think about what to say. It was very hard to trust someone when they try to kill you and then apologize when the words sound so hallow. But remembering what Shane said I quickly said." If you don't mind, Mom, I would feel much better if I stuck to showering from now on." I waited as if I might have hurt her feelings. But she said she understood, but wanted to make sure I could do it on my own first. Sighing that when school starts, it would certainly make her job easier, and she was busy enough as it was. Having to bathe the two smaller boys and Arthur. Plus, still have breakfast ready before everyone went to school.
She finished putting the ointment away and covered the rest of my waist with the blanket, leaving my back exposed and told me it would be no use covering such a large area and the air would do a better job keeping it dry and from infection. I remained flat on the bed as she got up and said; "I will bring in something to help you sleep and even though I am against pain pills, I'll see what I can find until I can go to the store tomorrow, and we will see about if your Dad will let me bring you in a tray instead of sitting you at the table; only in your boxers. But he will insist that you are least present for family home evening and family prayer. And when I come back, you and I will pray to ask God to heal your wounds and making sure that you ask forgiveness for all your sins as few as they might be, but I want the stop the path you were heading by living with those sinful heathens."
I nodded as I tried to close my eyes, keeping my teeth from chattering as the warm blanket and the sun from the window warmed me enough, as my teeth didn't chatter as much. Then she reached down and felt my cheek and my forehead, shaking her head as the fever burned through me. And thumbed through my scriptures, smiling, seeing that I was indeed reading them, and slowly lifted my prepared report; asking me if it was alright that she read it. I said, "Yes Mom, I would like it, but I warn you; I am not very good at speech writing, so it may be a little rough and my handwriting sucks."
She told me she was happy that someone had done it in the first place and let her be the judge of that, saying. "It certainly couldn't be any worse than Arthur's." I wanted to say you should see my fathers, but I didn't watching her leave the room and turning out the lights, leaving the door opened.