Aaron's POV
The ticking of the clock on the wall was unnervingly loud in the silence of Dr. Carter's office. Aaron sat on the worn leather couch, his elbows on his knees, staring at the carpet as if the patterns held the answers to his tangled thoughts.
Across from him, Dr. Carter sat with her notebook perched on her lap, her pen poised but unmoving. Her expression was calm, expectant, and a little too perceptive for Aaron's comfort.
"How are you feeling today, Aaron?" she asked, her voice steady and inviting.
"Fine," Aaron said automatically, though even he didn't believe it.
Dr. Carter raised an eyebrow, giving him a moment to revise his answer.
He sighed, leaning back into the couch. "Okay, maybe not fine. Just... tired."
"Tired," she repeated, jotting something down. "Physically, emotionally, or both?"
"Both, I guess," he admitted, dragging a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Lately, it feels like I'm always running on empty. Like everyone's expecting me to be this... guy I'm not sure I am anymore."
Dr. Carter nodded. "The guy you think everyone expects you to be. Can you describe him to me?"
Aaron hesitated, his thoughts swirling. "You know, the popular guy. The captain of the soccer team. The one who's supposed to keep it together, always show up, always win. The perfect son, perfect friend, perfect..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "It's a lot."
"It does sound like a lot," Dr. Carter said, her tone sympathetic. "Do you feel like you have anyone you can talk to about this?"
Aaron shrugged. "Not really. I mean, I have friends, but... they're not exactly the 'let's talk about feelings' type."
"And your family?"
Aaron let out a humorless laugh. "My dad's all about pushing harder, doing better. And my mom... she tries, but she doesn't really get it. It's like they don't see me, you know? They just see what I can do."
Dr. Carter nodded again, her pen scribbling softly on the paper. "It sounds like you're carrying a lot of pressure to meet other people's expectations. Do you ever feel like you lose sight of what you want?"
Aaron stared at her, the question settling heavily in his chest. What did he want? He wasn't sure he even knew anymore.
"I guess," he said finally. "Sometimes, it feels like I'm just going through the motions. Like everything I do is for someone else."
Dr. Carter didn't press him further, giving him space to let the thought sink in. After a moment, she said, "Tell me about Sarah."
Aaron stiffened at the mention of his ex's name. He hadn't spoken about her much in these sessions, and he wasn't sure he wanted to now.
"What about her?" he asked, his voice clipped.
"What comes up for you when you think about her?"
He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the carpet again. "Regret, mostly. And maybe some anger."
"Anger at her or yourself?"
Aaron's jaw tightened. "Both, I guess. She was my first real relationship, you know? And I thought we were solid. But then everything happened. you know what she said? I wasn't there for her, that I was too focused on soccer, on... being this guy everyone expected me to be."
"Do you think she was right?"
Aaron let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah. I mean, I tried to be there for her, but... maybe it wasn't enough. I don't know. Maybe I pushed her to do whatever she did. It felt like no matter what I did, it wasn't enough for her. And then when we broke up, it was like... it confirmed all the stuff I'd been scared of."
"Which was?"
"That I'm not enough," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
Dr. Carter gave him a moment to sit with the words. "Aaron, relationships are complicated. It's easy to blame ourselves when they don't work out, but it's rarely just one person's fault. It sounds like you were doing the best you could under a lot of pressure."
Aaron nodded, though the words didn't quite sink in. "It's just... hard to shake. And now, with Sarah back in town briefly for holidays, it's like all that stuff is bubbling up again."
"How do you feel about her being back?"
"I don't know," he said honestly. "It's weird. Part of me feels like I should try to talk to her, figure out if there's still something there. But another part of me... doesn't want to open that door again. It's like... I've already been through that mess. I'm not sure I want to go back."
Dr. Carter nodded thoughtfully. "It's okay to feel conflicted, Aaron. Seeing someone from your past can bring up a lot of emotions, but it doesn't mean you have to act on them. What matters is what you want for yourself moving forward."
Aaron thought about that for a moment, his mind drifting to Layla. She wasn't like Sarah. She didn't care about his status or his popularity. In fact, she seemed to go out of her way to ignore those parts of him.
"She's different," he said before he realized he'd spoken out loud.
Dr. Carter raised an eyebrow. "Who's different?"
Aaron felt his cheeks heat up. "Just... someone I've been spending time with."
"Tell me about her."
"She's... complicated," he said, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "She's sarcastic and stubborn and kind of a pain in the ass, but... she's also real, you know? Like, she doesn't care about all the stuff everyone else seems to care about. And she's..." He hesitated, searching for the right words. "She's just... different."
"Different in a good way?"
Aaron nodded. "Yeah. Definitely in a good way."
Dr. Carter studied him for a moment. "It sounds like she's someone you feel comfortable being yourself around."
"Yeah," he admitted. "I think that's what I like about her. She doesn't expect me to be anything other than... me."
"And how do you feel about that?"
Aaron shrugged, though a small smile lingered on his lips. "It's... nice. Scary, but nice."
Dr. Carter smiled. "Aaron, it sounds like you're figuring out what you want, not just in a relationship but in your life. It's okay to take your time with it. And it's okay to let people see the real you."
He nodded, feeling a little lighter than when he'd walked in. As the session wrapped up, Dr. Carter handed him a slip of paper with some journaling prompts to help him process his thoughts.
Walking out of the office, Aaron felt the crisp evening air hit his face. His pulled out his phone and his finger hovered over Layla's contact. Taking a deep breath, he sent her a message, a picture of a grumpy cat with the caption: "When your friend won't stop overthinking."
Her reply came quickly, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
Aaron couldn't help but chuckle. He quickly typed back, "Can't help it. You're so charming."
As he walked to his car, he realized that for the first time in a long time, he felt like he was heading in the right direction—even if he wasn't entirely sure where it would lead.