Kazuya had two questions. First, why was this world obsessed with him? And second, why did it come with so many personality issues?
Lyria, the self-proclaimed goddess of luck, was skipping ahead of him on the road, humming a cheerful tune. Every step she took seemed to be a near-miss with death: a loose boulder, an aggressive squirrel, even a puddle that almost swallowed her shoe. She laughed through it all like it was the best day ever.
Behind him, Mika the dragon-girl was sulking, occasionally glaring at him like he owed her money. Her tail flicked dangerously close to his face. "Watch it with the tail!" Kazuya snapped.
"Then stop walking so close!" Mika growled. "It's not my fault you're tail-level height!"
"That's not even a thing!" he shot back, dodging as her tail swiped at his head.
The group trudged along until they reached a rickety wooden bridge spanning a canyon that looked like it led straight to the underworld.
"Don't worry, I'll go first!" Lyria said, giving a thumbs-up. She stepped onto the bridge, and immediately one of the planks snapped. She fell through, catching the ropes at the last second.
"Haha, oops! Guess I'm too lucky for this bridge!" Lyria said, dangling over the abyss.
"Lucky?! You're literally about to die!" Kazuya yelled, pulling her back up.
Mika snorted. "How is she still alive? Is her entire life just dumb luck?"
"Yes," Lyria chirped.
"You're not even ashamed," Kazuya muttered, helping her back to her feet.
As they crossed the bridge (with much screaming and awkward balancing), a shadow loomed in the distance. It was tall, menacing, and… oddly squishy-looking?
"What is that?" Mika asked, squinting.
The creature stepped closer, revealing itself to be a gelatinous blob with googly eyes stuck on its front. It jiggled ominously.
"It's… a slime?" Kazuya asked.
"No, it's the Great Ooze of Eternal Doom!" Lyria corrected, clapping her hands like it was a cute pet.
"DOOM?! That's the doomiest thing you've got?!" Kazuya shouted.
The slime lunged at him, but instead of attacking, it wrapped around his leg.
"IT'S EATING ME!" Kazuya screamed, flailing.
"No, it's… hugging you?" Lyria said, tilting her head.
"Why is everything in this world broken?!" Kazuya yelled, trying to shake it off.
Mika was doubled over laughing. "The 'Great Ooze of Eternal Doom' just wants cuddles! This is too good!"
The slime eventually slithered away, leaving Kazuya soaked in slime goo and his dignity at an all-time low.
Later, as the sun set, the group set up camp. Lyria tried to cook dinner, which somehow resulted in a fireball that singed Mika's hair. Mika chased Lyria around the campsite while Kazuya tried to salvage the only edible part of the meal—a piece of burnt bread.
"I hate this world," Kazuya muttered, chewing on the charred bread.
"You're doing great, though!" Lyria said, smiling brightly despite the soot on her face.
Mika sat down with a huff. "You're the worst hero ever. But… you're kind of funny to watch fail."
"Gee, thanks," Kazuya said, rolling his eyes.
As he lay down to sleep, he couldn't help but think that maybe—just maybe—this chaotic world wasn't all bad. Or maybe he was just too exhausted to care anymore.