The trio found themselves at the edge of an ancient coliseum, its crumbling stone walls towering over the surrounding wasteland. A massive banner flapped in the wind, reading: "ARENA OF LEGEND: FIGHT FOR GLORY! (Or Die Trying)"
"I have a bad feeling about this," Kazuya said, staring at the arena gates.
"Why? It looks fun!" Lyria chirped.
Mika crossed her arms. "It's obviously a trap. Look at the skulls on the banner."
"Exactly! Traps usually involve skeletons," Kazuya said. "And skeletons usually involve me running for my life."
Before they could debate further, the gates creaked open, revealing a burly minotaur holding a clipboard.
"Name?" the minotaur grunted.
"What?" Kazuya asked.
"Your name," the minotaur repeated, holding up a quill.
"Why do you need—"
"Just write it down," Mika said, shoving Kazuya forward.
He scrawled his name on the clipboard, and the minotaur gestured them inside.
"Welcome to the Arena of Legend," the minotaur said. "The first round starts in five minutes. Try not to die."
The First Round: Goblins Gone Wild
The arena was packed with spectators, all cheering loudly as the trio stepped into the sandy battlefield.
"Why is there an audience?!" Kazuya shouted over the noise.
"It's for morale!" Lyria said, waving at the crowd.
A horn blared, and a gate across the arena opened.
Out came a swarm of goblins riding oversized rats.
"Rats. Why is it always rats?" Kazuya groaned, drawing his sword.
"Focus!" Mika shouted, already lunging at the nearest goblin.
The battle quickly descended into chaos.
Lyria, in her usual fashion, was flinging random spells everywhere. One goblin's rat turned into a balloon and floated away, while another goblin found itself wearing a tutu.
Kazuya, meanwhile, was locked in a desperate struggle with a particularly aggressive rat that kept trying to bite his leg.
"Get off me, you oversized flea bag!" he shouted, finally managing to kick it away.
Mika, of course, was in her element, tearing through goblins with precision. "Is that all you've got?!" she yelled at the remaining enemies.
One goblin, clearly terrified, turned to run—only to trip over Lyria's discarded spellbook and knock itself out.
"Well, that was… anticlimactic," Kazuya said, wiping sweat from his brow.
The Second Round: Lethal Llamas
The horn blared again, and the announcer's voice echoed through the arena.
"ROUND TWO: THE HERD OF DOOM!"
A gate opened, and out trotted a pack of llamas, their eyes glowing red.
"They're adorable!" Lyria squealed.
"Don't let their looks fool you," Mika said, stepping back cautiously.
The llamas charged, spitting streams of acid at the group.
"WHY?!" Kazuya yelled, dodging a glob of acid. "WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING?!"
Lyria attempted to cast a shield spell, but instead, she accidentally summoned a pile of hay.
The llamas screeched to a halt, instantly distracted.
"They like hay!" Lyria said, clapping her hands.
"Good! Then give them more!" Kazuya shouted.
Before the llamas could regain focus, Lyria summoned another pile of hay, and the herd happily trotted away, leaving the battlefield.
"Well, that was weirdly wholesome," Kazuya said.
The Final Round: The Legendary Gladiator
The announcer's voice returned, booming louder than before.
"AND NOW… THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE CHAMPION OF THE ARENA!"
A massive figure emerged from the shadows, clad in golden armor and wielding a sword almost as tall as Kazuya.
"Oh, great," Kazuya muttered. "A walking tank."
The crowd roared as the gladiator raised his sword.
"Prepare to face ultimate defeat!" the gladiator bellowed.
Mika stepped forward, twirling her spear. "Bring it on."
The battle was intense. Mika clashed with the gladiator in a flurry of sparks, each strike echoing through the arena. Lyria attempted to assist by casting random spells, which mostly resulted in colorful explosions and a moment where Kazuya's hair turned pink.
"LYRIA, STOP HELPING!" Kazuya shouted, trying to fend off the gladiator's wild swings.
Finally, Kazuya had an idea.
"Lyria! Summon more hay!" he yelled.
"What?!" she replied, confused.
"Just do it!"
With a wave of her hands, Lyria summoned a massive pile of hay right in front of the gladiator.
The gladiator, distracted, stumbled into the hay and tripped, his sword flying out of his hands.
Mika wasted no time, pinning him to the ground with her spear.
"Yield!" she demanded.
The gladiator groaned. "Fine. I yield."
The crowd erupted in applause as the announcer declared them the winners.
The Champion's Secret
After the battle, the gladiator removed his helmet, revealing a surprisingly young face.
"Wait, you're just a kid!" Kazuya said.
"I'm 17," the gladiator replied, sulking. "They make me do this to pay off my family's debt."
"That's awful!" Lyria said, tearing up.
Kazuya sighed. "Figures. Even the bad guys in this world have tragic backstories."
The gladiator handed them a golden token. "This will grant you access to the Treasure Vault. Good luck."
"Treasure Vault?" Kazuya's eyes lit up. "Finally, something good!"
The Twist
The Treasure Vault was indeed full of treasure—if you counted mountains of cheese wheels as treasure.
"Cheese? Seriously?" Kazuya groaned.
"It's enchanted cheese," Mika said, examining a glowing wheel. "I think it heals injuries."
Kazuya sighed, slumping to the floor. "I'm done. Just leave me here."
Lyria picked up a cheese wheel and took a bite. "Mmm! This is the best quest ever!"
As the group argued over what to do with the cheese, the coliseum began to shake.
"What now?!" Kazuya shouted.
A massive golden mouse burst through the wall, its eyes glowing with fury.
"RUN!" Mika yelled.
"Why is it always rodents?!" Kazuya screamed as they fled.