***
"You see how it works, do you? As long as I don't stay anywhere long, as long as I keep moving and don't think of anywhere as Home, I shall act as an anchor to keep all the worlds real. And that will keep Them out. If you like, you can all think of it as my gift to you. I never had much else to give. You can get on and play your own lives as you like, while I just keep moving. This story of it all can be another gift. And if you read it and don't believe it's real, so much the better. It will make another safeguard against Them.
But you wouldn't believe how lonely you get.
- From The Homeward Bounders by Diana Wynne Jones
***
It's been a while since Jake woke up next to someone. Jake, and Javy, are very good at getting rid of Jake's one-night stands long before Jake has to worry about dealing with them in the morning.
They let Celia do it once and almost ended up with assault charges, so she doesn't get to do that anymore.
So, it's a little bit weird and a little bit wonderful to see Bradley sprawled out next to him in the morning, still sound asleep.
He looks… religious in first light. Not that Jake's religious. None of the Seresin's are. Religion was a waste of time, an excuse to shift blame and lessen responsibility. Weak people looking for excuses his mother always said. People got what they earned and nothing else.
Their family was proof of that. Still carrying a debt dozens of generations later. Even when they didn't know what it was for.
But Bradley Bradshaw bathed in early morning light was certainly enough to make Jake consider it.
Or at least to stay in bed a while longer to watch him sleep.
Maybe he'd skip his morning run for once.
He wouldn't have this for long, and he didn't want to miss any of it. Even if this was all Jake got, it was enough.
He would make it enough.
The memory could carry Jake through for the next ten years of his life.
The last ten years of his life.
It might not be the companionship he'd yearned for, but it would be a comfort.
And more than he'd ever hoped for. Better to have loved and lost and all that.
On that note, maybe he'd go for that run.
The endorphins always pushed away the melancholy.
Everyone in his family were runners.
***
They fell into a routine. Albeit a rather volatile one.
During the day, they flew and argued and nearly came to blows a few times. The rest of their cohort kept a wary eye on them but didn't intervene. Confident that they'd stop before they drew blood.
At night, they left it at Bradley's door and put all that excess energy and attention into a much more pleasurable conflict.
They were actually pretty good at it. None of their cohort seemed to suspect their relationship went beyond petty arguing.
***
A delusion, Bob tells them later.
Cyclone agrees.
***
Mav is so distracted by the mission and Bradley that he misses it completely.
And the small, petty part of Cyclone gloats in his head about knowing something about Mav's precious godson that the man himself has completely missed.
Ice is less amused by it but stays far away from the entire mess. Partially to preserve his ability to step in at a later, critical moment and partially because it won't help things between Pete and Bradley and Bradley and Jake and Jake and Bradley and Pete or any of them with him later if he steps into the mess now.
Hurt feelings had a way of spreading like an infection, Tom's learned.
Bradley and Jake may not get along now, but he wouldn't be surprised if they found common ground against Pete and Tom if Jake found out what had happened.
It might help the Bradley and Jake problem, but it wouldn't help any of the others, and Tom didn't get as far as he has by only solving one problem to the detriment of others.
They just have to hold out for a little bit longer.
***
The mission is a stupid idea.
The longer Jake studies it, the louder the voice in his head gets. He's all for The Mission and pushing boundaries, but he's a little confused about how this was briefed that ended up with it getting approved. There's a massive difference between acceptable risk and unnecessary risk and the military isn't great about it, but they do generally get it when they're looking at something this obvious.
Why aren't they just using a drone or a long-range missile? They probably aren't as accurate, but it'd be a lot cheaper to lose them than a handful of highly trained aviators and their planes.
Less of an international incident, too. Since it's easier to claim a drone or a missile went accidentally off course than it is a person.
Cole agrees when Jake runs it by him sans the really classified parts. He thinks someone's looking for a promotion, but Jake didn't get that vibe from Cyclone or Warlock and Maverick clearly doesn't give a shit about advancing his career, so it must be some suit in Washington.
Naturally.
It's the only part of a military career that Jake really can't stand.
There's no room to adjust the mission parameters. Cyclone had already tried when he first received the mission. Someone somewhere really wanted this mission to go off just this way.
It was that lack of creativity that was going to get Rooster killed.
And that wasn't Jake reaching, no matter what Javy said.
Rooster was a technically perfect flier. Safe and by the book. The way the Navy trained…in flight school.
It was where all aviators started, but not where they were supposed to stay, and Jake is running out of ways to try and get Bradley to realize.
Short of telling him to his face that he's not getting it, and in Jake's experience, Bradley doesn't deal well with that kind of approach. Which is fair, people can say they get it when you tell them, but unless they figure it out themselves, it doesn't really sink in.
You don't learn from other people's lessons, no matter how hard you try. Jake's whole family is proof of that.
He sees it every time he tries to pass on the lessons he's learned to Lily Grace, and he sees the spark of knowledge gained but not the understanding that those lessons have carved into Jake himself.
Jake's inability to communicate with Bradley is only enhanced with the rest of their cohort. A few, like Halo and Harvard and Fitch, are ambivalent about him and don't like Bradley for their own reasons. Mostly because he can turn into an annoying helicopter parent some nights, and others, he's a drunken frat boy. They all figure he's got his reasons; it's no secret his parents died when he was young, but none of them feel obligated to deal with it, so they laugh at him when Jake makes jokes, and they laugh at Jake when Bradley gets him back, and they stay out of whatever is brewing between Hangman and Rooster.
Phoenix, Bob, Payback, and Fanboy are all firmly in Rooster's corner. They must have gotten closer over the years, not that Jake really cares.
And the rest fall somewhere in between.
Cyclone's already warned Jake that as long as it doesn't get physical, he's staying out of it. Aviators and their egos have inevitable conclusions, and good commanders have learned to let them run their course when they can.
Maverick….Maverick isn't paying attention to the right things. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Jake hasn't figured out which yet. Jake's tried picking a fight with him too but the other man's so distracted he didn't notice.
He complained about it to Ted Warren the last time he called the ranch, and the older man had just laughed.
Pete's always all the way in, or he's all the way out, he'd said. He gets so focused he can't see anything else. Makes him good in a fight until it doesn't.
It makes Jake relieved that Maverick isn't flying the mission.
***
Javy would like to know why, after twenty-something years, Jake still thinks he's oblivious to when he's getting laid regularly.
Javy knows the difference between frustrated and not getting any Jake and smug-relaxed-full of dopamine Jake. He knows on the prowl Jake and just shot down Jake and changed his mind Jake.
And yet, somehow, his brother in all but blood thinks he's sneaky.
Like Javy didn't share a room with him all the way through the Academy.
Like he wasn't there the moment Jake realized he liked boys as much as girls.
Hell, he saw Jake's first kiss coming before Jake did.
So why Hangman thinks Coyote doesn't know he's banging Rooster every night, he doesn't get.
He's pretty sure he's not the only one who's figured it out, either. Because Natasha's been looking more and more judgmental as the days go on, and Bob looks suspicious so he's probably close if he hasn't already figured it out.
Payback looks resigned when he notices a barely covered hickey on Bradley's neck one afternoon in the locker room and Javy knows, KNOWS, that Fanboy is running bets.
It's like they've all forgotten what a monumentally bad idea Jake and Bradley together are.
No one has said anything, though. Not to Javy. Not to Jake or Bradley. Maybe they're talking amongst themselves, but more likely, everyone thinks that ignoring it and not talking about it will make it go away.
Which is not Javy's experience at all.
Idiots.
Javy's been biding his time. Jake's never been able to keep secrets from him for long, and he has little to no shame and Javy will bet every penny he's got that Bradley was the one who wanted to keep it from him.
Rooster's got a healthy survival instinct.
But they're coming up on the halfway point of their training and no one's come close to making the course. Jake's inching closer every day, but it's two steps forward five back when no one else can keep up with him.
Lily Grace just got her first phone and texts her dad and Javy every day, trying to cheer them up and encourage them, but really, it's just making both of them homesick for the ranch and the people who love them.
It's the first time Javy's ever seriously considered retirement.
Lily Grace and Dustin are old enough now to understand that Jake and Javy are gone a lot. And old enough to have things going on that they want their father and uncle there for.
Pictures and videos are not the same as seeing Lily Grace's first ballet recital in person.
Or Dustin's turn as the Flu in the school play.
It's wearing on Jake, too. Even Bradley's not enough to distract him from the memory that Jake's father died on deployment, a world away, and that he missed just as much of Jake's childhood as Jake is missing of his own kids.
Every parent has grand ideas of doing things differently when they have their own children, but most of them end up just doing some version of the same because it's what they know. Comfort and safety breed routine, and it's very, very hard to break a lifetime of routine.
Terrifying, too, Javy knows. Thinking back to that long drive in the dead of night and the new world at the end of it.
Javy wants, more than anything, to watch his kids and Jake's grow up safe and healthy. Wants them to live long, happy lives, and there's a vicious not of rage tucked up under his heart because he knows he's going to bury Lily Grace and Dustin someday.
Just like he's going to bury Jake and Jordan and Peter.
Barring any freak accidents or illnesses, Javy's probably going to bury Jake's grandchildren before he goes, too.
Which, just, no, Javy has to go sit in a corner and focus on his breathing whenever he thinks about that.
Things are reaching a boiling point in training and Javy latches onto that distraction like it's a life preserver.
Jake doesn't come clean over the next few days, and that makes Javy worry more than anything.
Jake's always had more than a passing interest in Bradley Bradshaw. A small but steady flame waiting to be nursed into a inferno or snuffed out for good.
Now is not the time for it to erupt.
Not when one of them might not be coming back.
Desperate, Javy calls Jordan.
***
The day Jake finds the picture of Nicholas Bradshaw and Pete Mitchell is the first day he really, truly loses his temper.
Tom Kazansky, Admiral, Fleet Commander, is standing next to them. All flight suits and smiles, like he didn't throw Jake's father's death in his face the day they showed up here.
Mitchell had been standing right behind him. Bradshaw sitting a few feet away.
Bradley, who's never, ever spoken about his father where Jake can hear.
Not even after his dead father's friend had revealed that Jake and Bradley shared more than a love of flying.
There's no way Tom Kazansky didn't know what he was doing.
And there's an angry part of Jake that thinks that Bradley's not stupid enough to have missed it, either.
Which means he's willfully ignoring it.
But it does do one thing.
It explains why Bradley and Maverick are both being so fucking stupid.
Jake's never handled his anger well. He doesn't actually have a lot of it, despite a sharp tongue and little to no patience. Anger is a waste of time and energy, just something that gives other people more power over you than Jake is comfortable with.
So Jake might make somebody cry with his opinion of them, but he's never struck someone in anger.
Until today.
Although, to be fair, Jake wasn't the one throwing the punch.
And then Jordan and Peter show up.
***
They're at the hard deck when it happens.
Jake on one side with Javy, Callie, Brigham, and Logan.
Bradley, on the other with Natasha, Bob, Reuben, Mickey, Neil, and Billy.
Maverick showed up a few minutes ago, with Kazansky, of course, but they've set themselves in the middle with Hondo, Warlock, and Cyclone, and so far, no one looks like they're going to take sides.
Jake's spent the last couple of weeks fielding awkward questions about his dad thanks to the Admiral's welcome, and while most of them got the point after the first few times he point-blank refused to talk about it, he knows they're all thinking of him as the kid whose dad failed out of Top Gun.
The one with something to prove and doesn't that make sense.
Jake knows exactly what it was that made his dad such a bad fit for a place like Top Gun, but he's not going to feed information to a bunch of people that just want to use it against him. They didn't know his father, and they don't know Jake well enough to really care anyway.
And Jake's honestly a little confused about how Kazansky knew his father well enough to recognize his son. None of his father's friends from the service have ever mentioned the blond pilot.
They sure as shit never mentioned anyone like Maverick, and Jake's got the sense that you didn't really know one without the other.
Natasha already tried to get Jake to apologize. This afternoon, after training ended early and she caught him in the parking lot. It was a short, sharp conversation about their former friendship and propriety and how you don't do things like that to people and Jake reminding her that she didn't have a say in how he behaved and if she really cared about Rooster, she'd tell him to get his head out of his ass and actually fly.
It hadn't gone over well.
So now they're encamped on opposite sides of the bar, no one willing to give ground and Penny looking like she's contemplating going for the hose if they don't stop being stupid.
And the guy that started the whole thing is sitting in the middle like this is exactly what he had planned.
Jake will wonder later, if Kazansky had any inkling about Jordan and Pete showing up.
But regardless, for now, it doesn't matter because they sweep into the bar right as everyone's contemplating going for round two, and the Jukebox has been playing cheerful pop songs thanks to the bachelorette party next to it, and most of the pool tables are spoken for by a group of rough looking assholes that have been leering at them all night.
Jake thinks there's going to be a fight before Penny closes, and when his brothers walk through the door, he knows it.
Jake doesn't see them at first; he's not angled to see the door, and Bradley and his lot are closer. But Callie's low whistle and Fanboy's sudden silence make Jake and Javy look over, and Bradley looks poleaxed. And he isn't the only one. Maverick and the rest of their command are looking back and forth between Jake and the new arrivals with eyes as wide as saucers and it looks like Mickey literally dropped his drink.
Bless Jordan and his ability to break any and all ice.
"Baby Bro!" And Jake's feet are clear off the ground before he can react.
Jordan's always been a fun guy, kind at heart, and all about being happy where you can find it. Ignoring the gaping wound he's been carrying since he buried the love of his life. He's an overgrown frat boy so it makes sense why he's fit in so well in the Seals.
Peter's always been the quiet one of the three of them despite being the biggest. He's like a blond Jeremiah Johnson now, getting ready for another go-around with the Berets. Quiet but deadly, Jordan and Jake have always joked because Jordan could get you with just about anything, and Jake could get you from miles away, but Peter's the one you never see coming.
Jordan practically tosses Jake into Peter's arms when he sees Javy, "Mama Machado!"
And Javy laughs despite the despised nickname because Jordan could be insulting your mother and still make you laugh.
And then they just devolve into hugging and shoving and demands to know what you're doing here and what the hell is with the atmosphere in here? Did somebody die? Kind of?
"It's called leave, Baby Bro. You might be passingly familiar with it."
"No shit, you fucker. You were supposed to be shipping out this week."
"Delayed. So, Pete and I figured we'd drop in. Not often, we're stationed this close together."
And it's not. Peter's in Texas. Jordan's in San Diego when he's not in Oceania, and Jake's god knows where and that's not counting when they're all deployed.
It's easier to wrangle a herd of cats than it is to get them all together in one place.
The cats generally result in less damage, too.
***
It strikes Bradley in this moment, although it probably should have struck him long before now, that he knows nothing about Jake outside of the military.
He's not the only one either, since only Javy seems to know the two guys that just blew in calling Jake 'Baby Bro' and Javy 'Mama Machado' and looking like older, buffer versions of the guy occupying Bradley's bed for the last few weeks.
Callie might as well be drooling with the way she's looking at them.
"Who are they?" And no one has an answer to Fanboy's question.
Except, they kind of do, because it's pretty fucking obvious just by looking at the three of them. Tall, blond, blue-eyed Texas boys.
And even Ice, who for all of Bradley's life has been the one with all the answers, looks like he just got slapped in the face.
He thinks he catches Amelia taking pictures out of the corner of his eye, but there's no way he can pry his gaze away from the Seresin brothers to check.
It takes about thirty seconds for the rest of the bar to notice them, too, and the bachelorette party, in particular, isn't subtle about it.
Jake starts making introductions like they weren't just in the middle of their own little cohort civil war, which he probably doesn't care about now that his brothers are here.
Bradley sure doesn't.
Jordan Seresin, the one who has a grin as charming as his wink, is the oldest, and Bradley thinks he can see the edges of trident tattoo on his bicep. A Seal, then.
Peter is the middle one, the quiet one, but there's a tattoo running along his arm that reads 'Gentlemen Bastards,' and Bradley's seen that before.
So, both of Jake's brothers are Special Forces. And Jake's Top Gun, and doesn't that all fit together so well? Their parents must sleep pretty soundly at night when they're all home and horribly when they're not.
Jordan starts buying rounds, but Peter's the one who slips Penny his card for the tab and all Bradley's life Penny has never let anyone open a tab, but she does tonight, looking just as enthralled with the events as her daughter.
It only takes two rounds of shots before everyone in their cohort is vying for attention from one of the Seresins. Callie and Brigham blatantly hitting on Jordan. Neil. Reuben, and Bob jockeying to ask Peter how many languages he speaks, which, one, is apparently a lot, and two, what the fuck? Mickey, Logan, and Natasha demanding to know where the fuck Jake's brothers came from besides the wild blue yonder and Jesus what did your parents feed you guys growing up?
It takes two more rounds for them to join the bachelorette party, and by then, everyone's buzzed, relaxed, and asking more and more invasive questions that somehow how none of the Seresins are answering.
Jordan lays one Brigham and then Callie and then Reuben of all people because Mickey bet him he wouldn't.
Reuben even admits Jordan knows how to kiss and has to sit down for a second after.
Jake is laughing in a way Bradley's never seen him do before and starts putting Dolly Parton songs on the jukebox. 9 to 5 quickly followed by Islands in the Stream and Go To Hell, and they all sing along after Jordan's cheerful declaration that he only sings Reba, Peter's the one who sings Dolly, and Jake's a mean Miranda Lambert.
They even belt out a few lines of My Mama's Broken Heart before the snide comments from the pool area become too loud to ignore.
Javy's at the bar getting another round when the fight starts.
One of the wanna-be thugs sneers something about fags, and before anyone else can react Jordan pokes him in the shoulder with his own pool cue and cheerfully announces that for the purposes of this lesson on manners, Jordan, who is as straight as they come, is gay, Peter is actually gay and Jake is bi but recently has questionable taste in women so he's not allowed to sleep with them currently, and now they're all insulted by what the thug said.
For a second, it looks like they might just get away with spewing a few insults because the thug and his friends clearly don't see the danger and double down, and Jordan, Peter, and Jake look oddly relaxed.
And then the first strings of Jolene scream out, and at the bar, Javy freezes, groans, and puts his head in his hands.
Penny barely manages to ask him what's wrong before Jordan lays out the asshole mouthing off to him, and by the time Javy's finished explaining that Jolene is the Seresin family fight song, the brawl is well underway.
There's a few broken chairs and two snapped pool cues by the time it's over. The thugs sprawled out amid the wreckage. Jordan busted his knuckles, and Jake has a busted lip and Peter looks like he wasn't just throwing guys through the air.
Even Javy had taken down a couple, and Bradley still remembers what it felt like to get hit by Machado.
It's all over before anyone can threaten to call the police because, apparently, those jokes about Jake being the least deadly of his brothers were just that.
Between the four of them, there's not much left after a couple of minutes.
Penny looks pissed, but Bradley can't be sure if it's because of the bigots or the damage, but it ceases to be an issue when Peter orders the thugs up, their wallets emptied, and sends them marching out the door with a warning never to come to this bar again.
They're going to follow it too.
It's always the quiet ones.
Jordan collects the cash and hands it off to Penny with a lopsided smile and an apology for the damage and even though she cuts them off for the night, she's smiling.
Jordan tells her it's a wise decision as Dolly segways into I Will Always Love You and My Tennessee Mountain Home and announces they need to sober up.
Bradley doesn't get it until Jordan's leading them out to the beach, and Javy starts yelling about keeping your goddamn clothes on for one night, you fucking fuckers!
And Peter is yelling that there's nothing sobering about drowning in the ocean and Jordan's arguing about it's cold and whatever that means is lost by the cheers from the bachelorette party that followed them out into the waves. Even Javy yelling about at least one of them being in a committed relationship didn't slow those ladies down.
Bradley definitely had his adventurous years, but he can honestly say he's never gone skinny dipping in the Pacific Ocean.
Until tonight.
Penny tries to stop Amelia, but her cry of I'm eighteen is followed by her screech of surprise when she plunges into the chilly water.
Thankfully, Maverick, Ice, and the rest of their command have chosen the better part of valor and stayed firmly inside the bar.
And Jordan is right. The cold water is definitely sobering.
But Peter is also right because Bob, Mickey, and one of the bachelorettes have to be held up by the others lest they drown.
Still, they splash around for an hour while the alcohol and adrenaline burn off, and by the time they trudge back inside, they're much more sober, and most of the mess has been cleaned up by Mav and the others.
Penny even unbends enough to agree to let them have another drink at the request of the bachelorettes as long as they're weak shots in cups of strong coffee.
She does make Jordan promise no more bar fights, and there's a tense moment when Jordan looks around casually and says, "Long as there are no more assholes."
Bradley had stiffened, because Jordan was looking right at him.
And Neil whispered, "I'm on your side, man, but I'm not that on your side." Which Bradley absolutely understands because he doesn't want to fight Jordan Seresin, either. Especially if the guy thinks he wronged his baby brother.
Jake hauls his brother away, breaking the tension, though now even Penny is giving Bradley concerned looks, and if no one had figured out that Bradley and Jake were sleeping together before, they sure as shit have it figured out now.
Logan convinces Bradley to start playing, and Jordan and Peter seem thrilled to realize Bradley knows how to play, shoving Jake down next to him and demanding they play together. Bradley has to pick his jaw up off the floor when Jake seamlessly picks up his riff on Heaven In Your Eyes.
It is followed immediately by outraged demands to know why Jake never told them he played and Jake's equally outraged insistence that he's played for them before they were all just too drunk to realize it, and Jordan starts spinning increasingly ridiculous stories about the old woman who lived down the road from the Seresin ranch. Who used to teach at Julliard and followed her love to Texas and started teaching all the local kids.
Who used to whack them with rolled-up music when they messed up.
They spend the rest of the night shoving one another along the bench and trying to play over each other's fingers and there's a lot more laughter than any of them expected after the way the day started.
***
Bradley and Jake are too wrapped up in each other to see the frown on Javy's face as he watches them.
But it fades when Jordan catches his eye and winks.
Sometimes, brothers know best.
***
Stupid, stupid children, Ted Warren clucks over the phone and then tells Javy to take a few steps back and see what happens.
~tbc~