Bon Bao felt a pebble coming hither through the air.
His mhoddim force techniques allowed him to sense things like that. The muscle hunk tensed. For a moment, he considered manifesting a turtle shell of projected force. It felt like an overreaction to a pebble, however. Upon further reflection, Bon Bao realized intuitively that the pebble would splash harmlessly into the water if it continued along its present trajectory.
But would it?
A harmless splashdown wasn't guaranteed. If the tosser were a master of animating spirit techniques, the harmless pebble could become a guided projectile at any moment. If Bon Bao waited too long to manifest his shell, thereby ejecting all the luxuriously warm hot water out of the tub, he might not have time to manifest it once under actual attack. But who would attack a glorious Gargogryeon muscle hulk with a pebble – animated or otherwise?
Someone bitter about the brawl?
Bon Bao decided to disregard the pebble and enjoy a few more seconds of uninterrupted hot mineral water. If the pebble tosser were a master of animating spirit techniques, so be it. The underground boxing sensation, starving as he might have been, wasn't going to risk looking ridiculous over a pebble. After striking the surface, the little rock sank into the deep pit of Bon Bao's enormous belly button.
Well, damn! It was a hole in one.
Bon Bao opened his eyes. At first, he saw only night skies. But that wasn't right. Extending from the mansion's roof, a shape cut itself out from the stars. This was getting out of hand. A muscle hunk with a huge middle foot couldn't lie naked in a hot tub anywhere in Tianming Town without some creepy martial artist running around on a nearby roof to get a look. Running around on roofs was all the rage in the martial arts community. Bon Bao wasn't hip to that vibe. Magnificent muscles made him too heavy to run on roofs. The shape running around on the roof of Lady Wu's Riverside Mansion was light, slender – and appealing.
Would this be Bon Bao's third unexpected twink? Thank you sir, can I have another? Bon Bao stretched and flexed. But he had seen this light, slender, and appealing shape before. It was….
"Little Pin?" asked Bon Bao.
In a blink, the twink was no longer on the mansion's roof, but right beside the tub.
Impressive. Very impressive!
"Lord Bon!" said Pin Fun.
Bon Bao enjoyed being called "Lord" by small, cute, submissive males. It reminded him of a previous life, when he was a Thuulemen warrior battling lizard people on the slopes of titanic mountains. He should ask Ri Ran to paint that. Pin Fun wiggled pitifully.
Bon Bao enjoyed it when small, cute, submissive males wiggled pitifully.
"Lord Bon," repeated Pin Fun. "Hero Lang and the others have been abducted!"
Bon Bao sat up in the tub.
"Abducted?" he sputtered. "How the hell…?"
"We were drugged!" said Pin Fun.
He looked so cute, Bon Bao wanted to pull Pin Fun's entire face into his mouth.
"And yet somehow you escaped," Bon Bao observed sarcastically.
Little Pin wiggled again. If that kept up, Bon Bao's central foot would rise above the water.
"Lord Bon," Pin Fun said, "my career choices have encouraged me to develop a high tolerance to controlled substances. I'm also good at wiggling into and out of tight places. Really good."
Bon Bao rubbed his chin as if he had a sage's beard instead of peachy stubble.
"You can hide in my tight place," he said. "But you'll have to pay your own rent."
"Damn right," said Lady Wu. "Will this delicious cupcake be joining us in the tub?"
"Lady Wu," said Bon Bao. "If this delicious cupcake joined us in the tub… he would die."
"Die happy," said Lady Wu.
"Lady Wu," said Bon Bao, "be merciful. Once you feel how good he is with his hidden fingers, you might give him a discount too."
Lady Wu laughed.
"I don't give discounts easily," she said.
Pin Fun produced a rectangular gold coin. Lady Wu's eyes lit up like the sun.
"I've been Jian Peak Abbey's Number One Flower Knight for five years running," said Little Pin. "I'm happy to pay."
"That much gold," said Bon Bao, "would cover everyone in the mansion."
Later that evening, Bon Bao carried Pin Fun upstairs. Jian Peak Abbey's Number One Flower Knight was feeling too faint to walk on his own. The twink felt lighter than air in Bon Bao's magnificent arms. Bon Bao kissed his new pet lightly on the forehead.
"I will never unsee the horrors I've seen," Pin Fun moaned. "By the time you were done, whatever fluids were left in the tub weren't water – and the tub itself had broken free from its foundations."
"That's why we call them 'rollicking good times,'" said Bon Bao.
He set the Pin Fun down on Ri Ran's bed. As for Ri Ran, the mousy painter had fallen asleep at his desk. A tiny puddle of drool had formed on his books.
Pin Fun lifted up the back of Ri Ran's shirt.
"What an amazing complexion," he said. "I've never seen such nice skin."
Perpetually transfixed by his own magnificent body, Bon Bao never noticed how creamy and delicious Mousy Rascal's skin looked. Pin Fun began to rub Ri Ran's back.
The mousy rascal opened his eyes and blinked.
"I've brought you a bigger brother," said Bon Bao. "I'd keep him on my bed, but he might die during the night. You two shouldn't have trouble cuddling."
"Wha…?" mumbled Ri Ran.
"No trouble at all!" said Pin Fun.
He scooped Ri Ran up, lowered the mousy rascal onto the bed, and began licking. Bon Bao had not previously noticed, but Ri Ran had small nipples. Even the dark part was hardly there. While it was true that Ri Ran weighed nothing, the ease with which Pin Fun (who also weighed nothing) tossed the mousy rascal around surprised Bon Bao. Then again, as the most righteous of righteous sects, Jian Peak Abbey only admitted the most righteous of little muffins in all Great Yao. It should therefore be expected each gigolo monk would punch above his featherweight class when it came to the lingering sorcery of ancient giants.