"It's time for us to go on an adventure, Harlecuin Sols," said Iba Algi.
"Hooray!" replied Harlecuin Sols. "What kind of adventure?"
"An astral kind," said Iba Algi. "May the Immaculate Homunculus watch our teacups?"
"Certainly, Iba Algi!"
The Immaculate Homunculus appeared. He was everything Harlecuin Sols intended to be at the age of seventeen – and consequently an elevated being. Six foot three, broad shouldered, narrow waisted, the Immaculate Homunculus had brilliant lemon-white hair which fell (in curls) so far down his back it rested upon the upper curve of his peerless bottom.
Iba Albi clapped.
"He's so handsome," she said.
"I think so too," agreed Harlecuin Sols.
"Princess," said the Immaculate Homunculus, "I'm sure the teacups will be fine."
Iba Algi thought his voice was as amazing as his body. That was pretty gosh darn amazing.
"They will be fine with you watching them!" agreed Iba Algi.
"Shouldn't I be watching you?"
"I'm going to lie down over here," said Iba Algi, "you can watch me and the teacups."
"I see," said the Immaculate Homunculus. "You'll both be safe on your adventure?"
"Of course we will!" said Iba Algi.
Harlecuin Sols nodded emphatically.
The astral adventure began. Iba Algi slipped out of her own body and into a realm of unrealized thoughts and crystalized dreams. There, the world looked like something a billion beings might imagine all at once. It was fantastic, celestial, beautiful, and frightening. Jade Palace Mound went up forever, down forever, and to the sides forever. Except forever wasn't really forever to someone who was good at moving through unrealized thoughts and crystalized dreams.
With Harlecuin Sols in tow and Mr. Featherpuff flying circles, Iba Algi went up until she was above forever and under a dome of something else. It was like an inside-out fishbowl. There were floppy shapes on the other side of the glass that wasn't really glass. Sometimes big eyes pressed against the unreal glass and quivered.
They couldn't blink.
"Hello Always Seeing eyes!" said Harlecuin Sols.
Iba Algi waved – and turned her trajectory down. In a blink, the fishbowl and its eyes were replaced by a version of Tianming Town that expanded forever in all directions. Except it wasn't really forever. Or Tianming Town for that matter. It was the concept of Tianming Town imagined by a billion beings all at once.
Somewhere in that concept was a spooky old haunted mansion.
Mr. Featherpuff knew the way. Iba Algi and Harlecuin Sols followed.
When they arrived, Iba Algi saw reflections of the mansion at its peak, its worst, and in a time when there was only a rocky river bank and no mansion at all. Harlecuin Sols gasped in amazement. He was a thousand and ten years old and had seen many things. Big or small, each new thing he saw was amazing.
How amazing was that?
Pretty gosh darn amazing, thought Iba Algi.
The Princess stretched her arms as wide as they could reach and pretended to grab something with both hands. When she pulled her hands together abruptly, all the mansion's reflections condensed into one. It was a dilapidated space with spooky corridors and rooms full of starving, half-naked students. Which half varied student by student.
"Wow!" said Harlecuin Sols. "You're so good at astral adventures, Iba Algi!"
"Thank you, Harlecuin Sols!" replied Iba Algi graciously.
"Where should we go now?" asked Harlecuin Sols.
"I feel a miasma of anxious defeatism and doubt over this way…," said Iba Algi.
"Be careful!" cautioned a small voice.
A little girl stepped out from behind a big post. Iba Algi thought she was about eight years old. The little girl wore archaic, pretty clothes. Even though she was a ghost, she had not chosen to manifest any scary abnormalities. Like being cut in half, or covered in blood, or surrounded by a swarm of venomous insects. Mr. Featherpuff flew over and orbited her head. The little girl giggled.
"Hello Birdie!" she said. "There are ghost wires. They'll shock you if you touch them."
"Ghost wires?" asked Iba Algi.
The little girl nodded earnestly.
"The Ogre Queen made them," she said.
"Is this a ghost wire?" asked Harlecuin Sols.
The golden imp scampered to a line of force stretched between old timbers. The line was hard to see at first. Once a person saw it, however, it was easy to spot more. Harlecuin Sols stretched out his pointer finger and… got electrocuted.
"Oh no!" cried the little girl.
"Quit playing around, Harlecuin Sols," said Iba Algi. "You're frightening her."
Harlecuin Sols stopped being electrocuted.
"I'm sorry!" he said. "I didn't mean to be frightening. I meant to be funny!"
Iba Algi introduced herself and her companions. The little girl's name was Nin. Nin was surprised the ghost wires didn't hurt Harlecuin Sols. They hurt her whenever she touched them, but she had gotten good at avoiding them.
"Really good," she giggled. "There weren't always ghost wires here. But some of the other ghosts were mean and picked on people. So the Ogre Queen cast a spell to create the wires. Now it's hard for me to look for Countess Niwa."
"That's terrible!" said Harlecuin Sols. "Bad wires!"
No sooner had he called the wires bad than they crumbled into sparkles and vanished.
"Did you make them go away just like that?" asked Nin.
"Harlecuin Sols is amazing!" said Iba Algi. "Do you want us to help you find Countess Niwa?"
Nin's already large eyes got huge and sparkled.
"Would you?" she asked, skipping forward. "Would you really?"
"Of course we will!" said Iba Algi. "Let's go look at this miasma."
Nin nodded eagerly. Mr. Featherpuff kept her company. Iba Algi led in the direction of defeatism and doubt. When they arrived, Nin observed that it wasn't a miasma.
"This is the boy's locker room," she said.
"That would explain why Iba Algi wanted to come here," giggled Harlecuin Sols.
Iba Algi told him to sush.
"The house only has boys now," said Nin. "Except the ladies who cook. And the Ogre Queen. The ladies who cook are nice. The Ogre Queen is kind of mean. But she does look after her boys."
Unaware of the little ghosts walking between their lockers, starving students went about the task of uncomfortable bathing. Each student avoided bathing as long as he could. But eventually it was necessary to sit on an old wooden stool with cracks that pinched, lift an old wooden bucket that leaked, and wash in room temperature water.
At least it was still summer.
"Why hasn't anyone cast a hot bath spell?" asked Harlecuin Sols.
"I know, right?" asked Nin.
"Most people have to take baths without a hot bath spell, Harlecuin Sols," said Iba Algi.
Harlecuin Sols recoiled from this revelation in horror.
"You could cast a hot bath spell for them, Iba Algi," he suggested.
"I could," she agreed. "You could too."
"I think that under the circumstances," said Harlecuin Sols, "you should do it."
"Why do you think that?" asked Iba Algi.
"Because your hot bath spell has music."
"Does it really?" asked Nin.
"It has a sagaphonium," said Harlecuin Sols.
"A saxophone," said Iba Algi.
She cast her hot bath spell.
The nature of the room changed. At first, only a few students noticed that the water was getting warmer, but it didn't take long for all the students to start pouring bucket after bucket over themselves. The air became steamy. Starving students helped scrub one another's boney backs. Maybe, just maybe, they heard a soft, uplifting vibe.
"Everyone is so much friendlier now!" said Nin. "Is that what a sagaphone does?"
"Saxophone," said Iba Algi. "Yes."