Dance and music was the only thing that mattered to me. i remember when i was young and my mother,Mrs Johnson,would put on my favourite music and all I would do is swing to the beats as I sing to every word the song would say. well, that was me five years ago before some guy decided my dream was invalid and knocked me out with his car as I run some errands for my father. at some point the fault was mine for putting on my earpods and not looking where I was going but he hit me from the back sending me frying through the air and down on the pavement floor causing a permanent scar to create itself on my face.

I always recall the day the accident happened like it was just a few minutes ago, partly because I dream of it every single time I close my eyes, it's like the heavens don't want me to ever move on. that fatefull day that the accident happened,I was relaxed in my room listening to music per usual until dad called asking me to go get him something from the workshop down the streets. for one I saw no need to go with my car, it was just a block away and that maybe was the greatest mistake of my life, apart from my love life that is. I put on my earpods and my music loud to the last volume, probably my second mistake and run down stairs and out to the streets. the third mistake I did that day was not stopping to speak to Miss Vender, maybe if I had stopped then the car would have passed, but who am I kidding, there was nothing to save me that day. and before I knew it I was being pushed forward by a great force and up and in the air and down the road hitting it with the side of my face causing the earpods to crash inside my ear.

people say it was a hit and run but I know nothing of the sote cause the next thing I woke up to was mashines and tubes running in and out my bloodstream and my mother and father looking at me with tears in their eyes. mama told me I had been asleep for almost two weeks, actually she wrote it down cause apparently the earpods had touched my ear drum and I could no longer hear anything. Also the accident had left my leg 'temporarily crippled ' even though it has already been five years and no sign of me walking happening.

well that was fast and hard to capture from hearing and singing along to deaf and dumb, actually I can speak, it's just that I went into what the doctor termed as 'selective dumbness' In a lay mans language to mean my brain choose to not speak, and from dancing to not even walking, I always feel like I am being punished but it is life and they never allow me to kill myself, which I have tried actually for the past five years. mama never turns away from me which irritates me the most but I can't also blame her. seeing your child try to kill themselves three to nine time, who am I kidding? it have tried more that five hundred times, is a lot hell of a suffering.

so, here we are again and the doctor keeps giving my mum false hope, which I know by reading his lips,am an expert at that, about how if I continue with the therapy I'll get better soon. that is just plain lie. I have been doing the therapy for five years and nothing has changed. this doctor is just grabbing my mothers money.

I feel a tap which brings me back to reality, more like my nightmare but who is complaining? definitely not me.

"you hear that Ruby? your legs have started responding to the therapy"

my mother writes and after I read I nod my head and look at her. I lost hope long time ago