It was three days after my father died and the house is like a swamp of wasps. There are just too many people. I keep being moved side to side to 'give way' to visitors each time I try to settle at a place. So i finally decided my room was the best option until the burial ends, not like i can help anybody like this i cant even hear what they are saying. I take out my tablet and continue reding the novel i hav been reading for the past two days until someone taps me and i turn to find my not so favourite aunt looking at me smiling. I dont smile back, i just dont know how go pretend. I look at her waiting for her to sign something.
"Why arent you with the rest of the family?"
She signs and i take a deep breath. By the rest of the family she means her, an i cant cause i hate her,her son, who i hate more than her and my grandparent, who i dont hate but i still dont love.
"I want to be alone."
I sign, the only thing i like about her i that she can sign and i dont have to write for her on my tablet.
"I know its hard for you, becouse you are on a wheel chair and you also ccant hear and now your dad is dead...but please we all lost something, not more than you but we still lost so just knw we are here for you."
And that is the reason i dispice her. Sbe just cant stop making me feel like i have the whole world against me, which kin of is true but ahe doesnt have to point it out at my face, i already know.
I nod and she looks at me as i go back to the novel i was reading.
After reading another chapter or two i feel another tap and i turn to find my mother looking at me. Her eyes are still swollen from crying which she does everyday.
"I just want to let you know they have agreed to burry your father next week wednesday. Its the only convinient day for everyone."
She hands me over the notebook and when i read th messag i feel my head sin. Why wednesday of all day. Thats my birthday. I really wanted to stuggle whom ever decided that day was convinient. And why would mother agree of that day knowing its my birthday? I had question but didnt dare ask. I nodded and she left. And for the first time in a long time and since my father dies, i felt tears stain my palm which was resting on my thighs. I didnt cry becouse i was sad about his death, i cried becouse the world kept hoing me more and more hatred to me and i hated the world so much and i hated how that made me feel