—Triggering words ahead! The "F" version of gay! It will appear once!
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Ling Xie fell into a deep sleep. It was as if an abyss pulled him back to four years ago when he was a fourth-year high school student, imprisoning him in his younger body and forcing him to relive the memories he had long since lost.
He was Cao Chang—the proud son of a once-famous couple who wore bright smiles every day. He was as free as could be; he'd run if he wanted to, jump if he felt like it, and fall in love without knowing what lay at the bottom of the pit.
Ling Xie saw an image of himself as Cao Chang, humming as he pushed his hair back, fixing it into his usual style, blushing like a fool. He realized that he was currently experiencing a live reenactment of his own memories.
He remembered this scene. It was him daydreaming about Hao Ming.
His knuckles turned white from the tight grip he had on the edge of his sleeves, wishing he could tell his younger self to stop before it was too late.
A series of knocks on the door broke Ling Xie's thoughts. He saw his mother, looking the same as ever—young and beautiful—barging in without waiting for an answer. "Chang'er~ Chen Yi has—!" Tears fell freely from her cheeks as she stretched out her hands toward Cao Chang, asking for a hug. "Chen Yi left! Waaaah!"
Cao Chang was stunned by his mother's outburst and the bombshell she had just dropped. 'Chen Yi left?' The news wouldn't sink in, and he just stood still, letting his mother hug him for as long as she could.
"He left? Mom?" Cao Chang's voice was soft as he probed his mother for more.
Auntie Cao nodded vigorously, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Left! Chen Yi went back overseas! Waaah, he didn't even say goodbye!"
Cao Chang's eyes widened. Chen Yi had told him before that he wasn't staying in A City for long. And Cao Chang had kept that in mind.
But he hadn't even prepared himself for the inevitable. Before he could come to terms with it, the other had already left, without sparing a single word for those he left behind.
Anger bubbled up in his heart, but it quickly dissipated. It was sorrow that won out in the end.
It wasn't easy to describe the friendship that Chen Yi and Cao Chang had over the past three years in high school. The first time they met, they had to handle Chen Yi's language barrier and Cao Chang's ever-growing fan club, which the latter didn't even know existed.
Chen Yi was a transfer student from overseas who quickly attracted the school's attention, and Cao Chang was crowned as the school's gem. It was because they were both so high-profile that the two ended up meeting. And they clicked as if they were fated.
One taught the other proper Chinese, while the other shared endless stories about life abroad. Their rapidly growing bond stunned everyone who watched.
Soon, the two couldn't be pulled apart. They stuck to each other as if they were glued together, spending almost all their time side by side. Those who were jealous couldn't do anything to separate them. That was, of course, before Hao Ming entered the picture.
Ling Xie felt deep remorse as the memories with Chen Yi flooded his thoughts. He cried dry tears while his heart bled with guilt.
Oh my god.
His legs gave way, buckling under the weight of his lost strength. I knew Chen Yi?
Although he was merely a projection in his memories right now, Ling Xie's breath shortened and quickened. The pain was so intense and suffocating that he clutched his chest, hoping to ease it. I'm such a fucking horrible person.
The image before him distorted and reshaped into an empty street on a rainy day.
Cao Chang was absentmindedly staring at his feet, occasionally checking his phone under the cover of a cafe's outer roof. He glanced at the lock screen, full of hope, but only received a notification from his daily horoscope.
Ling Xie's eyes widened in horror at the familiar scene. His body trembled uncontrollably, and his mouth opened and closed in shock.
No.
Cao Chang sighed, disappointed that the reply he had been waiting for still hadn't come. He was trying to get an answer from Chen Yi, hoping to persuade him to come back. Yet, his phone displayed nothing.
Ring—ring—!
Cao Chang beamed and directly answered the phone without even checking the caller. He opened his mouth, preparing to act angry at Chen Yi when a different voice came through on the other side.
It was a woman's voice.
"Ya!"
Chang jolted at the sharp tone coming from the phone. He glanced at the caller and found that the name displayed was Hao Ming's pet name, Mingming.
He gulped anxiously, his heart racing.
"Hey, bitch, I'm talking to you!" The girl screamed, her voice piercing Cao Chang's ears. Yet, he felt numb to it because, in that moment, his mind was drawing conclusions he dreaded but couldn't avoid.
"Bitch, this is his girlfriend! You better fuck off you faggot!"
The call ended with the girl's curse, followed by the usual beep.
Cao Chang was frozen in place.
She was the girlfriend? Chang paled. Then what was I? He brought a trembling hand to cover his open mouth, and hot tears started to fall on his pale cheeks. Ming'er, what was I?
Chang threw his phone away and ran at full speed. Chen Yi. I have to tell Chen Yi.
He ran five paces before he abruptly stopped.
Chen Yi isn't here.
Realizing that the person he had always confided in was no longer around to offer him comfort... devasted him.
Cao Chang's tears mixed with the cold rain as he stood, staring blankly at the asphalt ground under his feet. He felt empty and weak, alone under the unrelenting rain with no one to turn to.
For the first time, he felt as if the world was working against him, intent on making his life miserable. First it was his best friend. Then, it was his boyfriend.
Right, could he even call him his boyfriend at this point?
His eyes blinked as he thought he heard a honk. When he looked up, he couldn't even muster any energy to avoid his impending fate.