Ling Xie woke up with a start. His forehead was drenched in cold sweat, and his hands gripped the soft blanket tightly. Tears streaked down the corners of his reddened eyes. The last of his lost memories had returned to him, vivid and sharp, as if they had never left.
He lay in bed for a long time, trying to process his thoughts. What he didn't realize was that Churong's guise had been removed while he was asleep. His blonde, curly hair stuck to his skin, drenched in sweat, and his face was bare—no makeup, no glasses.
"Uuuh, Chen Yi..."
Large drops of tears fell as he brought his hands to his face, startled when a cold metal met his hot skin.
It was a name tag bracelet engraved with "C.C. Forever," the friendship token he had received from Chen Yi a year after they had met.
It hadn't even occurred to him why he was wearing it when it should have been tucked safely away in his jewelry box. Ling Xie held it to his chest like a treasure and bent over his knees, suppressing the urge to scream.
He knew Chen Yi. And Chen Yi had long liked him, then.
Ling Xie wasn't sure whether to be thankful for his improved ability to detect signs of love due to his job, or to resent it, because it only deepened his guilt. As his memories came flooding back, he realized that Chen Yi had liked him all along.
He would even argue that it was no longer just like, but love.
That thought only added to his sense of shame.
The sound of the door opening startled Ling Xie. He looked at the person entering with fearful eyes.
Chen Yi pushed a rolling cart with covered porridge, a glass, and a pitcher of water, carefully trying his best not to make a sound. He closed the door as quietly as he could, then glanced up and found a terrified Ling Xie watching him, wrapped in a blanket.
It was an image of Ling Xie he never wanted to see.
"Xie'er...?"
Ling Xie instinctively pulled the blanket closer around himself. His lips trembled, and his eyes were filled with uncertainty as a fierce battle raged in his mind, words struggling to break free.
"I—I'm sorry—" he said, his voice starting strong, then tapering into a whisper. He didn't even know if he had the right to apologize. To think that his heart would seek his best friend after being hurt—Ling Xie felt like he was about to use Chen Yi as a means of escape.
He wondered if he truly loved Chen Yi, or if it was simply that his heart remembered what his mind had forgotten, which was why he felt comfortable with Chen Yi all this time.
That thought terrified him.
Chen Yi's heart sank. "What are you sorry for?"
He took a step toward Ling Xie, only to watch him move frantically closer to the headboard of the bed. Seeing him so frightened, like a scared kitten, suddenly made everything clear to Chen Yi.
"Xie'er... Do you perhaps... remember me?"
It was the only reason Chen Yi could think of. Although he still didn't fully understand what Ling Xie was apologizing for, the only connection he could see was their past. He wished he could believe that Ling Xie's apology was simply because he had fainted, but the fear in Ling Xie's eyes told him otherwise.
Ling Xie's tears fell heavily as he nodded slightly. A pang of regret twisted in his chest. He wished he had seen the signs in the past and fallen in love with Chen Yi instead.
But there was really no medicine for regret.
Chen Yi gritted his teeth. Dreading that Ling Xie might leave him again if he didn't take another step, his gaze darkened.
"Do you... hate me?"
Hate?! Ling Xie's eyes widened in confusion. How could I?! He rattled his head in disbelief, not understanding how Chen Yi could think of such a thing when it was Chen Yi who should be hating him instead.
Chen Yi sighed in relief—almost laughing in sudden joy, and with the last of his hesitation gone, he moved forward.
Despite seeing Ling Xie's alarmed gaze, he quickly caught him before he could fall off the bed and pulled him into his embrace.
"That's great—" he murmured, "—that's really great." He repeated, running his fingers through Ling Xie's hair, easing the tension in his own heart.
Ling Xie's mind was a whirlwind of questions. Why?
He was moved by Chen Yi's tenderness, even though he kept telling himself to stop being so greedy. He couldn't help but think he would give anything if it meant he could stay with Chen Yi.
Ling Xie squeezed out the last of his tears. "Why—?" He pulled away from Chen Yi's chest, locking eyes with him. "Why are you still so good to me?"
Chen Yi stroked Ling Xie's hair gently, his gaze tender enough to make Ling Xie feel as though he might turn into a puddle of goo.
"Xie'er, I loved you then." He pressed a kiss to Ling Xie's damp forehead.
"I love you even more now." He cupped Ling Xie's small face in his large hand, caressing it gently.
His gaze was full of reverence.
"I want your everything—be your everything."
Chen Yi leaned in for a gentle yet deep kiss, sweet enough to melt the shocked Ling Xie. All of his protests were kicked towards the void, leaving him no choice but to give in to his desires.
I'm so greedy.
He wanted it.
If the price for hearing Chen Yi's words was to be hit by a car, bearing a permanent scar in return, he'd gladly stand on that asphalt road again.
Maybe he really did love Chen Yi.
I don't fucking care anymore.
Chen Yi pulled Ling Xie from the blankets, carefully placing him on his lap. His right hand slid down from Ling Xie's locks to his neck, tenderly stroking what he knew to be Ling Xie's scar.
Ling Xie trembled at the touch, breaking away from the kiss. "C—Chen Yi, I—"
Chen Yi silenced him with a soft peck on his lips before he could say another word.
"There's no rush." Chen Yi nuzzled his neck, tightening his embrace. There's no rush. I won't let you go no matter what anymore.
Ling Xie's scent was intoxicating; he could never get enough of it.
After pressing several light kisses on Ling Xie's pale skin, Chen Yi reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against Ling Xie's. The latter's face was a deep shade of red.
"I love you." Chen Yi paused, waiting until he had Ling Xie's full attention. "Let that be the only thing on your mind right now."